Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato
by Neamh
Summary: //Sequel to Ascension// Sometimes it's betrayal that wins the wars... But other times, it's who'll kill first.
1. Prelude: The Darkness of History

It never officially ended

It never officially ended. The lives of people, dead and alive were 
    
    forever scarred from the effect of the Blood War. There were women 

without husbands, men without wives, and children without parents. 

The war had left people empty and had made sure no one had been left 

unscathed. Even those who had somehow avoided the fighting, the 

memory of the war left them screaming and shaking hoping that someone 

would control. This is why A.C 195 began and why A.C 201 

began to etch itself in memory.

Because of its profound effect on the lives of people, those with 

high ranks began to think that if they asserted control someway, 

nothing like this would happen again. Chaos erupted from Chaos 

and those who thought they could hide were caught in their own 

web of misery.

Let us take a journey back when one group of people, isolated 

and rejected from a world that they shaped directly out of their 

own hands. Let us take a journey back and delve into the minds 

of the Untouchables.

The darkness of our history is finally revealed.

**************************************

Les Fardeaux de Véritè

An Introspect into the Lives of the Forgotten

**************************************

No one ever forgets the fast. We are born with it, we live with it, and 

we die with it. Life is made to be a cycle, a circle and so we always end 

up where we started. I was six years old when I first entered the camp 

in Rome. They had burned my village and executed all the men leaving 

women and children with no home and no means of protecting ourselves, 

including my mother and myself. They separated women in one group 

and sent them off to the Swiss and took the children to Rome. That was 

the only time I ever saw my mother cry. She had always been a happy 

person. Papa when he use to tell me stories before bed, told me that her 

smile had been so blinding that he knew she had to be his. The separation 

burns in my memory forever.

I had been to Rome a couple times, my parents had made it a monthly 

trip to go and sell the wines we made at the yard. Rome was always 

beautiful, people walking around basking in the warm sun or visiting 

the ruins of a glorious past. Rome was beautiful, it was home to all Italy, 

a reminder of the edge of superiority we'd always have over the rest of 

the world.

It was raining when we came to Rome and misery was even closer 

to our hearts.

I was raised to be a good Catholic, my village taking great pride in 

the fact that its children could read Scripture without flaw and put 

their full faith into something they were not old enough to 

understand. I fell into darkness in Rome. I prayed and I cried, then 

prayed some more. But nothing ever happened and I continued to 

suffer in silence at the hands of the cruel Society. I had no choice, 

but to suffer. I lost my faith in God in that place where people soon 

learned that even killing yourself wasn't an escape. 

I don't regret my life in the camp. I met some of the most wonderful 

people amidst the suffering or the punishing as the Society deemed. 

Harrington had seem to find fault only among those who helped build 

society. The doctors, the lawyers, the teachers, they were all there 

behind the gates of hell. He also targeted children, for we were the 

future and we carried its prospect on our shoulders.

I am an Untouchable.

Separated from others by a group of tattooed numbers on my right 

wrist, I have embraced the past for I have learned that life is 

unexpected and that one should be prepared for whatever is put up 

as a block.

I am an Untouchable.

I find no shame in the concept at all. So now as I watch the television 

blare the news of Senator Larson's declaration of war, I cannot help 

but wonder…

Will I be joining my parents wherever they are?

**

I was stationed in the Balkans when the war first started to take its ugly 

course. I was sixteen and excited at the aspect of any action. We were 

told that this war was going to be over as soon as it started. They were 

calling Easter the designated time that we'd be home. I was proud to be 

there, to serve Mother Russia in her finest army. I kept thinking whom 

happy my father was to have a son in the army. He had served the 

Peacecraft reign for years stationed in places like London and Paris. He 

lived in luxury as Captain of the army, but had to flee with my mother 

when the Alliance destroyed their reign of prosperity. People, my father 

used to tell me. People used be happy.

I think my father saw his revenge in me. Like I was some avenging angel 

born to rewrite the wrongs that had been done against him. But I went 

and was left in the Balkans waiting for my orders to go kick Society ass.

We as humans, especially in our younger years glorifying war. It thrills us, the 

very essence of dying for someone we could call our brother. But we soon 

learned, like any other soldier that war burned. It imprinted itself onto our 

very skin. We were scared and scathed. Our lives, our memories forever 

broken. That was the impact the Blood War left on us.

The very mention of the Blood War sends shivers down my spine. My wife, 

my Katrina, good bless her heart knows not to even to mention the past. I 

know there is a time where I should embrace my past, but I still can't bring 

myself to carry it out.

I'm sitting in the rocking chair my father-in-law made for me as a wedding 

present. He said that one-day it would be useful. He was right and as I sit 

here I smile. It's amazing after years of fighting my inner demons; I can 

still smile. The only other time I've smiled was when my son was born. 

Thank God he's still too young for the draft.

I'm worried about the younger generation. The holes they left in from the 

previous wars gave Larson the opportunity to come into the spotlight. He 

has the same look in his eyes, as did Harrington when he was standing in 

the same position many years ago. I fear that the carelessness of the younger 

generation will get us all killed.

I worry for my son and my wife. I do not want them to suffer because of 

a past I have yet to embrace. This war brewing in the air will etch itself 

into the minds of people. I can feel it in my body, along with bitterness 

and suppressed anger.

Knowledge is infinite sadness.

They're not going to know what hit them.

**

There's a quote in Proverbs that my brother said to once. We were in the 

camp in Jerusalem. For me I was beginning to lose hope. Our family had 

been murdered and we had no home. We were no being forced to built 

Mobile Suits for a man who promised us liberation, only to find out that 

like the Alliance he was merely taunting us.

Every word of God is tested. [1]

For my brother being in the situation we were in was a test of faith. Would 

we lose our trust in the Holy Father because of one man who thought he 

would rewrite all wrongs? I was too young to understand, but the older I 

became and the more time I spent in that damn hell hole I thought my 

eldest brother was full of shit.

Evan, I just want you to know how wrong I was.

You put yourself in the hands of this God of yours and never wavered 

when those arrogant bastards tried to test you. Your strength Evan is 

something I'll never be able to live up to.

Senator Larson, I hope you realize what you are leading us into. There is 

no purpose behind your drive, but alas your call will drive someone into 

temptation. My dear Senator, I lost my faith back when Harrington began 

his own soulless drive like yourself. To his day there is still a part of me 

that regrets renouncing the faith that I was born into. Yet, I understand 

life as it perceives itself. I regret nothing because of that. 

I pity you, Senator. 

I pity the fact that you might not understand until it's too late.

**

Dear Mother,

It will be around this time that you shall here Senator Larson's 

declaration of war against the Earth and the Colonies. Fear not, 

my dear Mother for I am safe and in hiding. I wait earnestly for 

more news on the present situation. I hope that I am called to 

fight soon, for if I am meant to die at least I will die nobly. The 

night is dark and people in the town live in fear that we too 

might be attack. All ready cities like Rio de Janeiro and Stuttgart 

have been left dead and dry.

Mother, fear not for me as you read this. We found each other 

after each bout of conflict and I am sure if I am granted survival, 

we will be together once more. Do not disregard your safety, I 

wish to see you alive and well after this.

I know I am separated from the rest of humanity because of 

this mark on my right wrist. I know I also have a chance of 

being found because of this symbol, but I understand I must 

follow what fate has in store for me.

Fair Mother, I wish you the best of health. If I am not to see you, 

please do not mourn me. My death will not be in vain.

I am an Untouchable.

Give my love to everyone, 

Daniel

**

The human psyche is a fragile concept. Any form of being 

threatened, it reacts almost violently hoping to protect 

itself from total self-destruction. In A.C 188, General Paul 

Harrington a tactics mastermind manage to break the 

psyches of almost a million living, breathing people. Those 

who had died manage to escape the possibility of having to 

have to deal with the prospect if they survived. But those 

who did survive remain forever shadowed by a past that to 

this day still sends chills down the spines of people.

The brewing war has the potential to do damage.

Those who have been hiding their feelings since the end of the 

Blood War need to step into the open. Because the present 

leadership will fall and then both the Colonies and the Earth 

will be subjected to darkness neither will be able to handle.

We need to accept the burdens of truth.

Because failure is not an option.

Not this time.

**

[1] Quoted out of Proverbs 30:5 for those of you who are curious. Cool quote, huh?

**

Go on to the next part. This isn't just it. This is a prelude in away,

but in the sense that your being introduce to the type of people

that they are going to meet through out the second book.

Once again, thank you very much for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THEM!! 


	2. The Art of Miscommunication

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

"If I die or you desert me, in six months

you will lose your son and your throne."

  * Rasputin's haunting prophecy to Tsarina 

Alexandra

Part One: The Art of Miscommunication 

**

Journal Entry 45

In regards to the how the behaviors of each of the children that the 

council has designated for the purpose of eliminating the threat of 

the Society, I find it very fascinating and almost disturbing to watch 

and study each girl. Because of having no first hand experienced 

these so-called concentration camps, I as a part of the female sex 

cannot relate to each level of these girls' emotional intellect. I do 

believe though that even at a young age [their ages range from eight

to nine] that complexity of their minds is far beyond not only my 

understanding but anyone else's' as well. On a more personal note, 

I cannot begin to wonder what cause the emptiness I see in each of 

their eyes... 

  * From the Journal of Emma Peterson, 17 December A.C 189

**

Bucharest, Romania

A.C 202

March 1

Soldier's Quarters and Training Facilities

There were several advantages to having insomnia. She didn't have to deal 

with her memories in her sleep, not ignoring the fact that she still had to 

deal with them awake anyway. But the act of dreaming was different. 

You introduced yourself into a world where you had no control over your 

conscience. It may not be an ideal advantage, but for her anyway it gave her 

control.

So far.

She sat crossed-legged on top of one of the wall in the west wing, watching 

the sun begin to rise. She watched its yellow-red flames stretch out and greet 

the morning blue sky. The whole scene was very relaxing. Peaceful? No, but 

very soothing. Peace could never be applied to anything anymore. It was a 

double standard word, not even a dream. Peace, she thought bitterly. 

Peacecraft... It was all the same thing. Dead, dying, whatever. Now it was just 

freedom. The full-fledge fight for freedom that hadn't even begun yet.

She sighed for the umpteenth time this whole mess had started.

In just three hours she was off to Germany to see the clean remains of the 

massacre in Stuttgart. It was the good thing about the organization. It was 

clean and fast, even if a mistake seemed possible it would be gone just as 

fast. Now if only this mission was as quick and fast. She was going to at 

least spend a week with Heero. Up to a week and a half if necessary. She 

wanted to blow her brain out if it went that far. She had seen the looks the 

guys had given and still give her and the other girls. She wanted to scream 

get over it. They were the Jitsatsu pilots. Big deal, they were the Gundam 

pilots.

"Hey."

She turned to see Merian standing behind her, waiting for an invitation to 

sit down. She nodded and gestured to the spot next to her. "Go right ahead."

"What time are you leaving?"

She sighed; running a hand through her honey colored locks. "As soon as 

Doc. finishes talking to them. We need to be there ASAP."

"Oh."

The wind blew gently around them, taunting them softly. Memories of the 

past slowly etched themselves into their minds. There was almost a quiet 

understanding between both girls, both coming from situations that had in 

a way harden them for the harsh realities of the outside world. They were 

survivors of a gigantic massacre, part of the few that were left.

"What about you?"

Merian shrugged and brought her knees up to her chest. Her eyes 

closed. "We're going to go to the Cairo base," she said finally. "I'm 

supposed to introduce him and Keller, so then we can head down 

to Rio where Hilde and that Maxwell guy are going to be."

She looked at her. "I thought Keller had died in the blast."

Merian shook her head. "Nope, he was injured. Lost both legs and 

paralyzed from the waist above."

Keller, Relena thought with a slight shake of the head. It had been 

years since she'd seen him. The guy was a pyro genius, acquired 

from the Congo camp after it had been liberated. Doc. had taken 

him under her wing after she saw use two matches to escape from 

the Alliance compounds. A bit crazy, but an all around nice guy. 

She had heard from word of mouth that he had died in one of the 

explosions in the Egyptian cities.

"Still lighting things on fire?"

"Basically, that's all he does nowadays. I have a small question. How 

do you guys deal with Winner? Three weeks and all ready I'm 

struggling to unleash my ploy to kill him. He's too nice for his own 

good."

Relena sighed. "Should have seen him on the ZERO system."

Merian's eyes widened. "Really? That bad, huh?"

She stretched out her legs and sipped the cup in her hand. She 

remembered Dorothy telling her that when she had been watching 

the tapes of him going through it. It was amazing how one system 

could reveal the darkest part of one's character. The real reason 

that a lot of people sought after his help was because he knew how 

to use his 'nice attitude' to advantage. He'd never admit it, but it was 

true. He rather put his power into good use and she respected that. 

She looked at Merian. "Out of all of them, he's the nicest. Sure he can 

go overboard," she started quietly. "But he's proved to be a wonderful 

friend countless of times..."

"I'm not trying to say he's an awful person, Rel. Because the guy 

goes out of his way to smile and say hello, being the perfect gentleman. 

It's just really uncomfortable. You four know them better than I do. 

I knew Wufei and when I did watch, it was only from the shadows."

"No one ever said it was going to be easy."

Merian looked at her. "I know damn it! Goddamn it, I know. All of 

you have had this contact with them, so you at least know what to 

say or how to avoid them. You were able to go through repression. 

Rel, I've had to live with my memories and my dreams. Day and night, 

night and day, never to rid them."

Relena's eyes flashed. "I do understand how awkward it is for you. Believe 

me, I do. I have to get on a plane and spend a week to a week and a half 

with someone that when I left, I wanted to leave knowing that he knew I 

was dead and that was it." Finally getting annoyed with the way her hair 

was acting, she yanked her hair thing out of her hair almost violently and 

pushed the hood of her gray sweatshirt over her head. She pushed herself 

up from the concrete.

"You think it's hard now, Mer. Wait until we have to start explaining 

*_everything_*. I can see their eyes; almost identical to the way they were 

looking at us when we were at the meeting three weeks ago. Think 

about it. Most of us are supposed to be dead or presumed dead, 

whatever. I don't want pity and I don't want sympathy. What 

happened to me happened. Can't go back and change, nothing I 

can do. That's how I see it. I'm twenty and just trying to get through 

life. That's about as much as I'll say on this."

Relena turned and walked away. She had the regrets, she had the open 

wounds, but if she had to suffer she wanted to do it quietly. It was how 

she survived through everything. Sipping her coffee, she savored the 

warm liquid trickling down her throat. What she wouldn't give for a shot 

of vodka to go down with this. 

Once again her life was at the point where it had become a circle. Go 

away, fight, and come back, constant repetition of her entire life. Go 

away, fight, and come back…

She just wanted it all to end.

**

I hate how they look at us. The old lady told me they were going to test 

my writing ability, telling me I was a smart and good little girl. I hate 

how they gave me really funny faces every time I spelled words 

"psychoanalysis" and told them the meanings of thing like "bio-warfare". 

I don't see what the big deal is. The old man who gave me a piece of candy 

this morning says I'm a very bright eight year-old. Again, I don't understand 

what the big deal is. There are four other girls like me, the nice doctor says. 

I met the one who's China yesterday. The doctor told me she came from the 

camp in Hiroshima, where they beat them until they fight back. They want 

soldiers. She seems very angry all the time and her eyes show that she blames 

herself for something, but what? Back in the camp in the Rhine, I remember 

Marguerite tell me that the eyes are the windows to a person's soul…

  * From the personal journal of Dorothy Catalonia, 28 January A.C 189

**

A hard knock on the door of her office told Dr. Peterson immediately 

that she was going to have a tough time dealing with the five Gundam 

Pilots. She grimaced. Can't wait, she thought sarcastically.

"Come in…"

Five very tired and angry men walked, well slugged their way towards the 

chairs in front of her desk. She bit back laughter. "Weren't expecting 

training to this rigorous, eh?" She was met with five glares, causing a smirk 

to appear on her face. "I tell you those girls may have been away doing 

undercover work for awhile, but when they started re-training themselves 

it was like they never left."

"Cut to the chase onna. Aren't we supposed to leave soon," Wufei 

stated, earning him a glare from her.

"All right," she began taking off her glasses. She leaned back in her 

chair. "You want to skip the pleasantries, fine. I have no problem 

with that. I called you here to explain a partial outline of what is 

going to happen, but before I need to explain a few things to you."

She stood up and made her way to the large window that overlooked 

the countryside. "Let me ask you a question. Do you know what you're 

getting yourself into?" 

She met with five very blank expressions and silence. This was going to 

be hard, she thought with a sigh. "Boys, I want you to be honest. Did 

you?"

Finally the blonde one, Quatre Winner she remembered, spoke up. "No, none 

of us did. But what do you want us to say. We were under the perception that 

these, these girls were legends…"

She raised an eyebrow. "The girls are legends?"

"You know what he means onna," Wufei said, finally speaking up. She shook

her head, a strand of silver hair falling on her face.

"No I don't. I thought it was the Jitsatsu Pilots that were legends."

"That's what he meant."

"I'm sorry, I'm still a bit lost. I was under the exact impression that you 

meant the girls were legends. Sure, Relena comes from a highly-recognized 

family, but I don't know about the other girls."

"I'm talking about the pilots," Wufei said eyes flashing.

"What pilots?"

"THE GODDAMN JITSATSU PILOTS, ONNA!"

She bit back a peal of laughter, but her expression turned serious. "What 

I don't understand, boys," she began. "Is why you're so afraid to say 

Jitsatsu Pilots? Well, I take that back. I can understand the uneasiness 

with the identities of the girls and what not. But you've walked in here 

and in these last three weeks; have executed total lack of respect for 

these girls. Keep in mind; it isn't easy for them too. You're forcing them 

into positions that are totally uncomfortable for them now, since they 

know you. I also understand that you have people waiting for you back 

home, so I'm giving you two choices. You either leave and forget you were 

ever here or you stay and cooperate. It's up to you five." 

Again she was met with silence. Was it really that bad? Did the 

relationships between her girl and the five boys undergo something 

horrible? With the girls she could never really tell. They were very 

good at hiding thing and didn't talk much about what had happen to 

them when they had gone undercover. But she had to give it to the 

girls; they had been through enough all ready.

"So your answer?"

Heero Yuy looked up at her. "We don't give up. We'll stay until the 

end." She looked him with a small smile. "Good, good. I wasn't 

expecting anything less."

**

I don't like this place. People walk around flaunting you for the content 

of money you family has and your last name. It's making me absolutely 

miserable being surrounded by people like this. But Doc. said over the 

phone last night that maybe I'd grow out of my pending silence…

  * From the Journal of Relena O'Conner*, 5 September A.C 193

**

Hilde leaned against the door of the room that Catherine shared with Duo, 

watching the other girl silently pack her things. She remembered that both 

Cat and Trowa were going to escort the council to the base in Prague and 

that Cat wasn't too happy about the prospect. She didn't blame her; South

Africa wasn't exactly the best place to bring Trowa to.

"Está bien, chica? [1]"

Piercing green eyes met hers. "I've been better."

"I'm in the same boat as you are, " she responded. Hilde made her way over 

to the chair that was next to Catherine's bed. She flipped her head over and 

pulled her hair up into a high ponytail.

"How did you do it?"

She looked up at Catherine, who plopped herself on the bed across 

from her. "Do what?"

Catherine pointed to the bed across from her. Underwear, jeans, socks were 

scattered through out the surface and the covers were in a jumble. A small 

smile came to her face. It was Duo's style nonetheless.

"Food," she answered finally.

"Food?"

She nodded with a smirk. "Food." 

Catherine shook her head. "Did you see the Rio pictures? Larson's gotten 

better this time around." Hilde looked at her and sighed.

"It's not that he's gotten better, he's just lost all sanity inside of him. Yes, I 

saw the pictures. The whole thing was so well orchestrated I thought I was 

going to hurl."

Catherine nodded. "This is going to be worse than the actual turn out. I was 

up with Rel last night reading the stats that the council had gathered. He's 

playing it safe basically. Gathered about 10 grand's worth of arms and 

recruiting a lot of street groups. He's being really discreet and we're going to 

pay because of that. I don't understand why we have to involve everyone 

though…"

"Better late than never, " Hilde responded. "Imagine if the council kept 

everything a secret. The world would completely fall apart without some 

type of warning. People can't take another blow like in A.C 191."

"I remember that. That was when Harrington finally unleashed all he had. 

We were what eleven?"

"Yeah," she stated quietly. "Eleven years old and all we really knew was a 

wide range of physics, chemistry, biology, etc. And oh, how to murder 

people in cold blood."

"Hil…"

"Look at us Cat. Twenty some years old and the last time we saw our 

families were when we were ten. Twelve years and it wasn't even a 

reunion. It was more along the lines of 'Oh, here are your grandkids. 

You can only see them for an hour. They need to go and kill General 

Harrington because he's a bit crazy.' B.S babe, complete B.S."

Catherine was silent for a moment, her hands lingering on her forehead. 

Bitterness consumed them all in different ways and each of them 

responded to it in different ways. Hilde was the more vocal out of all 

of them. She always had told everyone what she felt except when she 

was put into the situation when someone close was affected. She closed 

her eyes.

"We are in a situation Hilde. A situation that we've never been placed in 

before… I know this isn't easy for any of us, but like Re said to me the 

other day, we are going to have to deal with whatever is thrown at us. We 

are the only ones, who can control our weakness, but we also have to face 

the fact the sooner or later we're going to turn. Not only that we're going 

to have to take a piece of responsibility for the gundam pilots." A sarcastic 

grin appeared on her face.

"We're going to have to play mommy."

**

"So," Peterson began placing on her glasses. "We're going to start with 

the briefing. Any problems? Fei?"

The Chinese pilot glared at her, but remained quiet. She felt a smile 

creep up her face. She was going to have a hell of a time with this one. 

She continued on.

"I'm going to have to give you open background. First off you need to 

be familiarized with some terminology. When you're around the council 

and myself, you will be hearing a load of references to a term 'turning'." 

She watched as some of the pilots leaned forward in earnest curiosity. So 

they do care, she thought with a slight shake of the head.

"What 'turning' is goes deeper than the self-reproduced psychological 

meaning the council has accepted. The human psyche is made up of 

two faces, the dark and the innocent. Together they form the person's 

soul. When the girls first came to be the Jitsatsu pilots, we formed their 

names off of their existing personas. When they first came to us, they 

were small children who were broken and angry at what the Blood War 

had done to them. Basically emotionally traumatized. Silence, Darkness, 

Persephone, the Warrior, and the Demoness are all part of them as well 

as the names you know them by. But right now they are stuck in between 

everything…"

Quatre looked up beginning to understand her. She could see it in his 

eyes. Maybe there was hope… "You mean that it's like they're stuck 

in Purgatory and if they turn they go back to the way things were."

She nodded. "Yes and no. There was a time where there was a combination 

of both personas." She sighed sadly. "They have families. Living breathing 

families that they haven't seen in years, which explained part of the bitterness. 

It was the only time I actually saw with my own eyes each girl whole. Not only 

that… They were happy. Keep in mind that I'm going to explain what I have 

the right to tell you. And I don't have the right to tell a lot of things; the girls 

are going to have to do it on their own. But I'm warning you, once they turn 

you are going to meet the real Jitsatsu pilots."

Duo looked at her incredulously. "You mean to tell me all those stuff about 

them are true. Like Persephone taunting her victims before she killed them 

or the Demoness lighting hers on fire?"

Peterson nodded grimly. "Number one keep in mind that these girls were 

babies when the war started. Twelve when it ended. That was how they 

learned to react. Again it's up to them to tell you their stories."

"Some reaction," Duo muttered. She shook her head and stood, walking 

slowly to the large window behind her desk. "You may think you 

understand boys. But keep in mind that you're entering a darker world 

than you're used to being in. No one in the Society is innocent. We as 

humans have free will and the free will to carry out certain tasks. There 

are those who take advantage of this, of life. And that is exactly what 

the Society is doing. In Larson's own perverse way, you need to 

understand that he'll make people die. Black, white, green, blue, it really 

doesn't matter much to him."

She turned to them, study each of their confused expressions.

"Welcome Gundam pilots. Welcome to the real thing."

**

She couldn't move. Her eyes were shut tightly, for if she opened them the 

room would start moving around in spirals. Her head was throbbing, telling 

her body to do something, anything to make it stop. Her hands grasped the 

sheets tightly. 

"Make it stop," she whispered softly. "Please, make it stop."

The whispering began, surrounding her from all angles. Voices, faces, never 

a real escape from any of this.

"God, please…"

The truth lies in the past, the whispers spoke growing louder. What truth? She 

wanted to scream. What truth was in the godforsaken past of hers? Nothing 

lied there. Nothing but pain and misery. Pushing herself up, she placed her 

hands on top of her forehead tiredly.

"I'm not ready."

And no tears spilled.

**

"All right so this is the plan. Maxwell, you will accompany Hilde to Rio. In 

Rio you will check what exactly occurred and survey the death count. Hilde 

knows the rest so you too should be in good shape."

Duo looked up. "But I don't even speak Spanish."

Peterson smiled. "Each girl is fluent in several different languages. In fact 

Hilde's native language is Spanish."

"I thought it would be German since…"

She shook her head. "No, you're going to have to ask her for full details. I 

don't have the right to tell anything, remember. Yuy, you and Relena will 

be going to Stuttgart, Germany. Basically doing the same thing the other 

two are doing with the exception of that you're going to meet a contact. 

Relena's all ready was briefed about it. Barton, you and Cat will be 

will be going to South Africa to retrieve something. Winner, along with 

Dorothy will be doing some talking to some people we've recently come 

into contact with…"

"And what about me, onna?"

She smirked. "What about you, dear?"

"Why--" Duo smacked him upside the head. "Jeez man, let her finish. If 

you would listen, maybe you'd know." Wufei glared at Maxwell and turned 

back at her.

"You and Merian will also be travelling to Cairo and then later meet up with 

Maxwell and Hilde in Rio. That is all. The girls will inform you when it's 

necessary for us to make contact. Good luck, boys and be careful."

The boys stood up and left, leaving her to stare out the window. 

"You'll need the luck."

**

"How long is this flight going to take, Hilde-babe?"

She looked up to be greeted by Duo's super smiley face. She sighed and 

stretched her arms out, tiredly. "It's going to be a long flight, so please 

none of this cheery crap."

"Wrong side of the bed this morning, huh?"

Blue eyes held his gaze. "Duo, I'm serious we need to get along in Rio. Don't 

make me do something that's regrettable." He looked at her strangely and 

then sat next to her. They were silent for a while, watching people walking 

quickly to their designated ports. There were children crying, couples kissing 

each other, and people on their cell phones.

"Hilde," Duo began quietly. "Babe, what happened to you?"

She shook her head and leaned back in her seat. "Nothing happened to me Duo. 

You just don't know me." She stood up. "I'm going to get coffee. I'll be back."

He watched her walk away slowly. He had never seen look this tired or drained. 

Well, except for Libra. That was such as scare for him. The whole concept of 

someone sacrificing his or her life for him was unnerving. Also she had done it 

without any hesitation and that's what scared him. She had done it for him.

He sighed and placed his hands on his face. The sad thing was that they had 

been such good friends and now here they couldn't even stand in the same 

room. It had nothing to do with whether or not she was a Jitsatsu pilot, which 

he still found it hard to believe. 

"I want to help you, Hilde," he whispered to no one. "But you got to let me 

in."

His eyes widened as he realized what he had just said.

//_"You think you're the only one? Do you think you're the only who has suffered, _

goddamnit! Why do you insist that because you're still fighting this pointless war, 

that you are so fucking special? What makes you so fucking special than the rest 

of us?"

Her eyes softened.

"I just want to help you, but you gotta let me in."//

"I'm for real this time Hilde. I am for real."

**

"So you're okay?"

He sighed, glancing at an impatient waiting Relena. She was leaning against 

the wall across from him, arms crossed and eyes closed. A strand of her 

honey blonde hair fell gently across her eyes. She motioned for him to 

hurry up.

"Sylvia, I told I'd call you when I was settled," he replied tiredly.

"Heero, you said you were going to call and I got worried... I couldn't help it." 

He sighed. A six-year relationship he had spent with the granddaughter of 

Marshall Noventa. He didn't love the girl; he admitted it to himself regularly. 

He felt like he at least owned Noventa something and if taking care of her was 

the way then he's do it.

He'd always thought he'd hate himself later.

The thing was he never realized how much later was. 

"Sylvia..."

"Heero, you promised and when you didn't I got really worried. I'm sorry if I 

care. I just wanted to make sure you were okay..."

If this was what a mother felt like, he thought. Maybe he didn't miss much. He 

looked up to see Relena pointing at her watch. He nodded.

"Sylvia, I have to catch a flight. I _will_ call you when I'm settled."

He was met with a sigh. "Alright Heero. Call me later."

He placed his cell phone back into his pocket and slowly went to join Relena. She 

looked up at him, eyes darting over his shoulder. He tensed, his soldier instincts 

kicking in.

"Three armed, we're going to have to enter the late flight."

He nodded. It was the safest idea. He grabbed her hand and pulled her 

towards a newsstand. He dragged her towards the magazine isle and 

placed an arm around her shoulders.

"This is one way to attempt to look like tourists," Relena muttered.

His eyes widened as he realized they were standing in the dirty magazine 

section. Heero felt himself begin to blush. The past couple years had done 

wonders to his emotions. There are times like these where he wished he was 

emotionless.

"So this is what you do as quality time, huh?"

"Your sarcasm is noted," he muttered. She peered over his shoulder. 

"You know it's a bit bloody shady that we're trying to act like a tourist 

couple and we're surrounded by fucking Penthouse and Playboy in 

Hungarian." Her blazing stormy blue eyes held his gaze.

"Any more bright ideas Yuy? Or are you going to let me do my job?"

He looked at her. Long buried emotions that she had brought out from 

within him were starting to seep. She really brought out the worst in him.

"Well, it's not like you came up with anything. We can't just go to the 

fucking terminal and sit."

She rolled her eyes. "Well what do you know... You just established the 

fact that you have a bloody backbone. I think I just changed my mind 

about you and Sylvia. She's doing miracles for you."

He looked at her, heat rising in his body. I will not sink to her fucking level, 

he told himself. This is Relena Peacecraft, the psychopath who followed you 

to the ends of the earth. She messed up the mission.

He sighed.

It was never really a mission.

It was an eternal drive through hell. Ducking and dodging every possible 

obstacle thrown at him. He suffered silently and willing, hoping for some 

end to the madness.

"You don't know a damn thing about this," he hissed. "Why couldn't of you 

just stayed dead, Relena? It would have made life, everyone's life easier."

Blue eyes narrowed and he watched her grit her teeth. "Don't move and put 

your arms around my waist."

He looked at her. "Excuse me?"

"Don't move and put your goddamn arms around me like we're a couple. That 

way they don't see you. These people are more likely to recognize you than me."

She then added icily. "I'm supposed to be dead remember?"

He winced. He was being a bit irrational towards her. She had to do what she 

had to do. But why did he have a sinking feeling that was travelling up quickly 

from the pit of his stomach?

Why did any thoughts of rationality disappear when he was around Relena?

**

"You're going to disobey orders, Max."

Jim's response from his partner was nothing more that a sigh. The man was 

completely impossible to deal with sometimes.

"Didn't you hear me you fucker?! If we don't hit now, Larson will kill our 

families. I have to fucking little girls that I would love to *keep* watching 

their growth."

He grabbed his partner's shirt for emphasis.

Glassy gray eyes froze his own in a glance.

"These people aren't going to know what hit them."

**

Exciting, eh?

*Relena's new third last name. ;) It's going to

be explained later in the series when we

venture into the "family" subject.


	3. This Is Life As I've Seen It

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

"For great are your judgements, and hardly to be described; therefore 

the unruly souls were wrong. For when the lawless thought to enslave 

the holy nation, shackled with darkness, fettered by the long night, 

they lay confined beneath their own roofs as exiles from eternal 

providence."

  * Wisdom 17:1-2

Part Two: This is Life as I've Seen It

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Gundam Wing, do you really think 

that Hee-chan would have left at the end of Endless Waltz? Or 

that emotional conflict would be that weak? Welcome to my 

sadistic mind. I only have five dollars on me, so don't sue.

**

Each girl seems unresponsive when they were subjected to 

the "newest" of the tests that were performed. The stamina 

and stability of each girl especially Relena are completely 

phenomenal. Merian and Hilde have both proved to the 

council now countless of times that they perform well 

under pressure. Catherine has also demonstrated a unique 

talent of technological abilities. I'm a bit concerned with 

Dorothy though. The young one seems to have an emotional 

instability. 

I have researched this subject further and it seems 

that Dorothy might be a type of emotional reader with the 

ability to "read" into the emotions gathered around her. The 

problem, I've concluded lies more along the lines of when it 

comes the time will she be able to handle herself? Will her 

emotional instability affect the outcome of her 

performance?

- Log of Dr. Eric Meyer, September A.C c190

**

I've always been lost to begin with. It's the truth in its rarest 

from. Me, Dorothy Catalonia admitting to something that 

prolonged myself to weakness...The whole absurdity of the 

situation is nearly unnerving. Catherine says that I should 

keep to myself though. If the council were to find out all 

about my initial "problems", they'd increase the amount 

of training I have. Almost as bad as Relena... And I know 

I can't handle that...

- From the Journal of Dorothy Catalonia, 15 August A.C 191.

**

Bucharest, Romania

A.C 202

March 2

**

He found Catherine in the study waiting quietly for him. He 

marveled at the fact that she sat unmoving, eyes focused on 

the world viewed outside from in the house. He didn't 

understand what was going on, but after watching both 

Heero and Duo leaving with the other two girls he knew he 

had to accept every explanation that was given to him.

"What are you looking at?"

Catherine's body tensed for a moment, but then as quickly as 

it came she relaxed. She made no motion what so ever to turn 

around. Instead, she chose to keep her eyes on the outside 

world. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"We should get going, right?"

Silence.

It was like looking at a mirror image of his former self. Midii had 

told him that one day he was going to meet someone just as bad 

as he was and he would finally she why everyone had gotten so 

frustrated with him. He took a step forward, unsure as what to 

do or how to approach her. They needed to go...

"What are you trying to prove?"

He froze. "Excuse me?"

"What are you trying to prove?" Catherine repeated quietly. She 

turned around, her violet eyes searching his own. She went on. 

"There must be some motivation behind the five of you coming 

here. You left behind your jobs and girlfriends just to fight in 

this? There has to be a reason."

"What do you mean there has to be a reason? We came because 

we were asked to come."

She pushed herself off the window ledge in the study, brushing off 

her blue jeans. He found his eyes traveling down her body. She had 

definitely changed. She looked older indefinitely, but in the sense of 

being older and wiser and not to mention extremely beautiful. He 

shook his head. He had Midii, tall and beautiful with an extremely 

high intelligence. But he couldn't ignore the fact that Catherine looked 

gorgeous. She wore a lavender tank top the revealed her well defined 

arms. Her skin, a pale ivory before was no a bronze giving her an 

earthly glow. Her hair had also grown. The curly, shoulder length 

hairstyle was long gone and was replaced with endless strands of fire 

placed into a simple bun. Violet eyes stared back at him with lips 

pursed tightly together, almost as if she were challenging him.

She shook her head grabbing a shoulder bag from next to her. She 

walked passed him and called over her shoulder. 

"No one gets involved in this because they were *asked* to."

**

"Sir, preparations have been made. We are ready to 

attack on your orders."

Far in the corner, Larson stood eyes watching his men prepare for orders 

outside. A smirk lingered on his face. Yes, everything is going as planned.

He would be victorious.

**

Their footsteps echoed through the door, as she waited head held high 

and eyes never wavering. The whole situation in itself was a scenario 

of deja-vú.

A.C 188, March 23

The liberation of the Saint-Simon death camp.

She was eight.

It was something that had been imprinted in her memory for 

ages and ages to come.

Blood and bruises.

Screams of the people who were being beaten in the prison 

unmercilessly.

Footsteps were coming closer.

It was funny, a smirk slowly appearing across her wan features. She 

had spent day and night relentlessly tormenting herself over the 

initial concept of turning.

She was all ready there.

The pain, the longing, the unacceptance, it was all holding 

her back.

They say that before you accept death you must embrace it. No matter 

how cruel its distributed fate seemed. Acceptance would make one 

stronger.

She smiled bitterly.

It was bullshit, if she heard it like any other.

Her fingers brushed the now fading cigarette burns. She 

tormented herself endlessly. There was always that 

possibility of what if. What if she didn't turn? 

What if she did?

It finally came down to saying fuck it all.

She did it.

She gave in to her mind, her conscious, and the demon 

within her soul.

Endless circle, she was the Demoness.

And the twisted part was that she wasn't what they were 

expecting her to be.

Footsteps grew closer, pounding.

One...

Two...

Three...

Slowly, the curves of her lips formed a sardonic grin.

She was ten times as worse.

**

I know that I shall meet my fate

Somewhere in the clouds above...

  * William Butler Yeats, "An Irish Airman 

Foresees His Death"

**

Irony was such an interesting concept.

Paradox was merely a complexity.

There wasn't even a cloud in the sky, she noticed as she and 

Duo entered the closed off town. Paci officials were 

wandering about, shouting orders to each other. Hilde rolled 

her eyes. The organization was becoming sloppy. Three days, 

didn't they know that the government would eventually 

become suspicious?

"This is it?" Duo's voice interrupted her thoughts.

She turned towards him, blue eyes sparkling with something 

he couldn't quite place his finger on. "Uh-huh, this is it."

Desert isolation stretched from corner to corner. There wasn't 

the slightest indication of any green life. She sighed. They'd 

might as well had nuked the goddamn town. It seemed like the 

smartest thing to do. For a millisecond, a dark expression 

crossed her face. It would be the way she'd go to get her point 

across. 

Her hand shot out and grabbed Duo's arm. It was the 

first time she'd initiated physical contact with her former best 

friend. Violet eyes met hers in surprise; almost provoking a 

cruel smirk which she violently pushed away. Now was not 

the time.

"You're going to see a lot of disturbing things, Maxwell," the 

thickness of her Spanish accent finally revealing itself to him. 

She pointed to people lifting up bodies.

"I know you've seen some things in your own way, but I've got 

to give you the heads up... It gets worse and I mean really bad. 

So if you can't handle it, wait for me here."

"You think I can't handle it?"

She watched him, expression solemn. She closed her eyes and 

loosened her grip on his arm. 

"I know you can't handle it. And I don't know if I can stay 

like this anymore."

She sighed.

"I can't promise I'll stay this way."

**

It's been a while,

Since I could look myself straight...

  * Staind, "It's Been Awhile"

**

I don't know how to explain myself. I mean what do you expect? 

I've got six doctors surrounding me like a swarm of bees. There 

is a woman from Chilé who calls me her hijita [1]. Hijita? It's 

beyond ironic. I'm her child, her creation... Yeah, uh-huh 

whatever. Biggest bunch of nonsense I've ever heard. At least it's 

not mi puta [2] like they called the other girls at camp. Margo, one 

of the station soldiers that helped liberate the camp, had told me 

I would be with 'them' now. I wish I had died instead...

  * From the Journal of Hilde Schibecker, May A.C 188

**

Something wasn't right.

Merian's eyes snapped open and searched wildly around. Something was 

terribly wrong. She pushed herself out of her chair, causing Wufei to be 

startled out of his slumber. 

"Onna?"

She said nothing, eyes wandering to the back of the plan checking to 

see if the council members were in the back safe. They were there, 

nonetheless, but she still couldn't shake the feeling of...

"Onna, what's wrong with you?"

Emerald eyes flashed and met with charcoal. "Stay here, I'm going 

to check something."

With slow careful steps, she made her way towards the pilot 

station. Gripping the knob, her eyes widen in surprise. 

Shit.

She should have expected this.

**

"I'm sorry."

She looked up, expression filled with blatant surprise, letting the 

anger briefly disappear and her eyes wander away from her 

activity of watching. They had about lost the thugs that were 

after them and in the process missed their flight. Relena was 

not happy at all.

"Excuse me?"

Heero looked down at her and with a sigh repeated what he 

had said. "I'm sorry for being an ass Relena."

She said nothing, but shook her head. It's amazing how much time 

changes a person. She bit back a smirk. And maybe for Heero it 

was for the better.

"Apology…"

Her response was cut off by the shrill sound of her cell phone 

ringing. "Shit," she muttered, pressing the receive button.

"Rel."

"Stuttgart has informed me that position has not been 

reached. What happened?"

She said nothing, motioning for Heero to keep watch. Doc was not 

going to be happy about the prospects that were happening. Heero 

and her had come to conclusion that the whole airport was blocked, 

leaving them no choice but to stay and wait.

"We are blocked," she began. "They have the port under watch by 

several soldiers. They can't really do anything though because of 

the attention they might attract, there are UESA soldiers all over 

the place too."

"So a leak must of..." came the mummer of a response from the 

other line.

"It has to be. USEA whether or not informed of the situations in both 

Rio and Stuttgart would have been cleaner. We're going to have to take 

a detour someplace and then head to Germany. It's the only logic I can 

think of now. Besides, I don't think Yuy can take being cooped up near 

the Hungarian porn. Isn't that right, love?"

Heero shot her a glare and responded with his ever famous, "Hn."

Doc chuckled. "At least you two seemed to be getting along. From what 

I hear Merian and Chang seemed to be tearing each other apart. They're 

scheduled to land in two hours before I actually reinstate contact."

"What about Shi-chan and Maxwell?"

"I honestly don't know. I spoke to Mary in Rio and said that Hilde went 

straight to work, leaving a bewildered Duo to wander. Trowa and 

Catherine are on their way to the port on the south-side as we speak. 

And Dorothy and the young Winner heir haven't had much contact..."

Relena closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. "She hasn't..."

"I'm afraid so. She's in full personality, cigarettes included. Those 

damn things will kill her one-day. Winner is most definitely in for it."

She said nothing. Already? Dorothy had turned already? Fuck, she 

thought. This isn't good.

"I must go, dear. I have to contact the others for the routine check. 

Board the next flight to Paris as soon as you can. I'll have Jasper 

meet you there."

"Jasper? Isn't that a bit cruel?"

She earned a laugh from the Doctor. "At least I know you'll never lose 

that wit of yours."

Relena let a small smile cross her features, oblivious to Heero's lingering 

gaze. "What can I say? It's always been the charming part of my 

personality."

"Contact you later, m'dear."

She sighed and terminated the connection. She turned to face Heero, 

whose eyebrow was raised in curiosity. 

She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the French terminal.

"How's your French, Soldier-boy?"

**

They didn't have a chance.

She was further into the small pueblito [3], stepping over body after 

body scourge in every type of degree. God, it was like she was 

walking backwards into the past. Each minute she had been here, she 

could connect anything and everything with what happened back 

then. But this was too much.

"Hilde?"

She whirled around, surprised to meet the haunted gaze of Duo 

Maxwell. Her expression darkened and she said nothing, a signal 

for him to just speak because she wasn't in the mood.

"How..."

She shrugged, pushing all her emotions into a locked corner of 

her mind. "People are sick, Duo. What do you want me to say? 

It happens, so get used to it."

His eyes narrowed. "What's your fucking problem, anyway? You've 

been treating me like shit since I got here. I mean I should be pissed 

at you. Jesus, you're supposed to be fucking dead."

She gave him a bitter smile. "Well at least I didn't promise that I'd 

come back."

Duo threw his hands up in the air, frustrated. "You knew why I had 

to leave! There was a goddamn motherfucking war! What did you 

want me to do? Call?"

She closed her eyes. "You think I enjoy standing in the middle of 

a ghost town surrounded by fucking corpses. Do you think for 

one moment that I had any fucking say in my position? For that 

matter, do you think any of us did?"

Grabbing Duo's wrist, she pulled him to the nearest body. It leaned 

against one of the many burned down houses that still had a foundation 

left. Eye sockets had been left hollow; indications of force blatantly 

obvious to any vision. The expression though was one of complete and 

utter horror and left Duo forcing the rising bile down his throat.

"Imagine," Hilde mummered. "Imagine having to wake up to this 

every day. Or living in constant fear of the fact that this might be 

someone you know. I'm walking in my memories, Maxwell. This 

was and still is my life."

Duo's response was cut off by a shot.

**

[1] Daughter

[2] My bitch (I'm becoming a potty mouth. It's a terrible thing)

[3] Small Town

**

R&R please!

Disclaimer: Owning GW would be a great birthday present. ::cough::

August 3...


	4. The Good, The Bad, and The Just Plain Ug...

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve
    
    DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Wing. It's depressing 

enough to say that phrase. ::sniff:: I want my Hee-chan!

SHORT AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the chapter where a lot 

of things are going to pick up. I realized back with Ascension 

I mentioned some people that confused a lot of you. Their 

initial purpose shall be revealed within the next chapters and 

I'll give you a heads up, this book is going to be long. 

I mean long... I sincerely hoped though that things will be cleared up 

as the story picks up. I also want to let you know that again, 

like I have been saying, it's going to get darker. I will start to 

dive into the minds of each character and pull out their deepest 

fears. So I'll stop talking now and hope for the best. Thanks!

**

Part Three: The Good, The Bad, & the Just Plain Ugly

**

The rivers of life will stain with blood, when 

warriors are resurrected from the past.

**

Dear Trowa,

By the time you get this, I'll be gone. It's been years since 

I've actually come back to that place in my mind where all 

my memories of the past are stored. I fear it, yeas, but only 

because of its power. Those memories are the key to my 

soul, to my very being. Obviously I haven't been completely 

honest with you, but then again neither of us have been with 

each other. But I do feel that I should let you know...

There was a time in the world, where people only cared about 

survival. You could lie, cheat, and kill, as long as you secured 

your place in the changing times. People were afraid that they 

would be lost in the pages in history. The changing times were 

a symbol of anxiety. And so to make the story simpler, people 

began to go crazy and destroy anything and everything that was 

a symbol of the past. It all started with the Peacecraft Regime.

Relena's grandfather was a wise ruler, keeping everyone happy 

and within in the limits. He was very wise and got the job done. 

But his son would have none of that. Despite what you've heard 

Relena's father was a radical and defiance was the only thing he 

carried in his blood. He married outside his class; a move 

considered offensive to most at that time. 

Margaret was beautiful and the Irish queen would have been a 

valuable asset to him if he hadn't killed her off as soon as she 

gave birth to their second child. And again, to make a long story 

short, the ever-famous Peacecraft dynasty fell by the hands of the 

Alliance. I don't know all the details, that's something that I've 

stayed clear around Relena.

But anyhow, the Alliance not the one that you are familiar with was 

still not out of the clear. Because of the battle between the Peacecrafts 

and its members, a lot of holes were left. One of the reasons why Oz 

got as far as it did was because its skillful use of what was left untaken 

care of by the previous two.

The name still gives me chills, even when I think about it. Not only 

that, it's the one name that will only extract emotions such as grief 

and anger from anyone. It's the one name that will be forever engraved 

in the minds of people... the Society.

It was a strange concept at first. People would ask what their purpose 

was and there would be no direct response to the any of those questions. 

And on their part it was a great strategy, developing interest and then 

waiting for that exact moment to snatch everyone in sight. It worked 

because I wouldn't be sitting here writing this letter to you at all.

The Blood War was a war of many things. People died with no mercy 

while others were left with nothing. Nothing to believe in and nothing 

to hold on to... We were all lost souls, wanders left to fend of this 

darkness that lurked within the hearts of these men who literally called 

themselves 'the saviors of mankind'. It's funny because all they did was 

plunge us into eternal damnation.

I'm a bitter and tired person, Trowa. Four concentration camps does 

that to one person. I have the package. There's the psychological 

drawbacks and the 'I don't want to live' phase, I went through it all.

I am marked for life. The little number on my right wrist will forever 

be the indication that I was one of them, an Untouchable. I am a 

wander, a lost soul.

Trowa, I wish I could tell you everything because there is just 

so much. Unfortunately, I am restricted to tell this much as little 

as it seems. I just wanted to tell you what I could since you 

trusted in me with a secret that could have killed you. This is the 

way I could only repay you by... I hope.

Live, dear Trowa. It is the best you can do for anyone. Live life and 

keep its lessons close to you. That is the most important thing you 

can do for anyone.

Love Always and Forever,

Cathy

**

Her hands shook as she placed the letter on the table in front of her. She 

had been searching for scissors in the small apartment she and Trowa 

shared. Searching through an obscure drawer, she pulled out the small 

envelope. It was unmarked and opened, so naturally her curiosity got 

the best of her. 

The letter was very moving and she did not mean it in a corny way. It 

was filled was so much pain and longing, she almost felt strangled by it. 

Who was Cathy? She had never even heard the name uttered from 

Trowa's mouth, but then again neither her nor Trowa talked about 

what happened in that time period. Let past be past, he had said to 

her while their lips touched in a long needed kiss.

The letter still bothered her.

Who was Cathy?

**

He knew she had changed when the doctor had escorted 

him down the hallway.

The air itself screamed negative energy as the turned darkened 

corner after the other. It was almost like the experience he had 

with the Zero. This whole experience was going to be something 

none of them are prepared for. He sighed and slowly reached his 

hand out to knock on the door before him. It had been what, 

twenty minutes since he'd been standing outside the door?

He sighed again and knocked softly.

"It's open," came the muffled reply from the other side.

He pushed the door open slowly with one hand and was greeted 

by darkness. A windowless room, he thought. What was she 

doing in a windowless room?

"Dr. Peterson said I could find you here."

There was no response. He moved closer, hoping to instigate some 

form of contact. He felt uneasy in this atmosphere. It was something 

in the room that was worse than what he had felt from the beginning 

on.

"Miss Dorothy?"

A flicker of light caused him to jump back and he found himself staring 

into a pair of emerald green eyes. His mind screamed for him to move, 

but his body responded otherwise. It wasn't going anywhere.

"It's Dee."

Her voice was low and soft, reminding him of the jazz singers that used 

to sing for his father at the Winner Corporation parties. She stood against 

the wall, arms crossed in front of her chest with her right hand holding a 

lighter close to her face. She was dressed in all black, her jeans resting just 

under her navel and her tank top glazing just above. Her hair was pulled 

back out of her face into a braid, with a few tendrils framing her face.

"You're staring."

His eyes widened as he snapped out of his trance, letting the accusation 

settle in. She was staring at him, eyes almost daring him to answer. 

"Alright," he began softly, unsure on how he should approach the 

situation. "Miss Dorothy, I just wanted to know what we are assigned 

to do."

A hint of a smile graced her features. "Always in Paris, mon cher [1]. 

Always in Paris."

"And may I ask what our purpose is?"

"But of course, of course. There is always that certain aspect of 

curiosity that lies within the psyche of the human mind. Quite 

right, I do believe. It's quite an interesting concept. Don't you 

agree?"

He watched her, enchanted by her ramblings. She seemed to know 

that she was having this effecting on him because he could see it in 

her eyes. She was toying with him deliberately.

"I don't understand."

She smiled again and blew out the small flame that was provided by the 

lighter. Darkness enveloped him in its arms.

"You're not supposed to understand," came the quiet and dark 

response. "None of you are supposed to understand. Facts of 

life or something rather, it's how it goes."

He drew in a shaky breath. "What do you mean we're not supposed 

to understand? This thing concerns every-"

He had barely enough time to breath as he found himself pinned to 

the wall and what he made out to be Dorothy's arm right under his 

neck. Her warm breath teased him, dancing across the skin close to 

his ear.

"This isn't like anything that you've been through. Mon cher, this is 

completely different from any experience that you went through 

with the Eve Wars and the Barton Fraction Incident. I lived through 

those and I have lived through this countless of times in my dreams 

and waking hours. We were expecting this to happen, don't you see? 

These stupid and foolish battles over the years and those attempts to 

maintain an unattainable peace left holes for this to happen."

A growl escaped his lip. "I have to remind you that you and Miss 

Relena took part in that pacifist movement."

She tightened her grip. He could see the faint glow of her eyes even 

in the dark. "Relena and I did what we had to do. You don't even 

know half of it, Monsieur [2] Winner. This is not what you think it 

is."

"Who are you," he whispered. "You're not the Dorothy I knew..."

She laughed softly, bringing her hand up to caress his cheek. "You're 

a piece of work, you know?" She dropped her arm that was under his 

neck and he soon found himself face again with the silver lighter, flame 

dancing before his eyes.

"I am everything you fear. I am everything you don't want to be."

He gazed once more into those blazing emerald green eyes of hers, 

ignoring the heat that was coming from the lighter.

"My name is and was Dorothy. My name, Monsieur Winner... The 

Dorothy you knew well let me put it this way. Je suis mort. I am 

dead. She is dead. It is a very simple, simple concept. I have step 

back into the crossroads of the past and must embrace my persona, 

if you call it. I am Dorothy, but then I am someone else. That 

someone else is what you saw when you first came here. Lost, 

undermined, and scared... And when those two personalities 

combine, I am who I am right now. I am the Demoness, pilot 

of the mecha Judith. I burned my victims alive. I killed because I 

needed to survive. I am the type of person you are going to see 

out there. This is a game and I am prepared to do what I have to 

keep. The question is... Are you?"

He slowly nodded, hoping to avoid any minor burns.

Her lips curved into a slow smile and she slowly released him 

altogether. "Good, good. We have a flight to catch and we're 

meeting Yuy and Rel along with an old friend of mine."

He coughed and grabbed the wall to support himself.

"Be ready in five."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She 

took one between her slender fingers and lit it. He watched her, 

fascinated as she brought the cigarette to her lips eyes closed.

"The name's Dee... And I don't want to have to tell you again."

**

"What's the problem, onna?"

Merian said nothing in response and quietly continued to work at the 

pilot's controls. He watched as she let out a sigh of frustration and 

pushed an escaping strand of ebony hair out of her face.

"Onna, what the hell is going on?"

Again, there was no response from her as she continued to rapidly 

work at the controls muttering curses out in their native Chinese 

tongue.

"Onna, I'm waiting..."

"Wufei," she hissed literally. "If you don't shut the fuck up and help 

me, we're all going to die. And let me remind you here that we have 

very, very important people sitting back there. So if you don't die with 

people, who are sitting and drinking goddamn cocktails on the otherside, 

I suggest you come and help me. Luxury jets are made for more than one 

person to fly."

Sensing the urgency, he complied and ran to the nearest controls. Checking 

and rechecking, he made sure that there was no damage. They had both seen 

the pilots to the aircraft before they were boarding and judging by the look 

on Merian's face, he assumed that someone was going to die.

"Engine one is responding well, tanks are in check and running. Engine two 

is responding as well. Three is running the generator, but I'm assuming that's 

correct?"

Merian nodded. "I have the controls. I'm trying to figure out whether 

or not I can run this on auto, so that we can find out what happen to 

our 'friendly' pilots."

He looked up from his second recheck of engine three. "They couldn't 

of--"

A beeping sound interrupted him. Looking up, his eyes 

widened. "The radiator in engine one is rising."

"What? Check the temperature."

"It's ninety degrees and rising."

Wufei whirled around and found himself facing the barrel of .45 Colt. A 

tall and brooding man stood before him, a smirk form on his face as his 

eyes settled upon Merian.

"It's been awhile, mi querida [3]."

He watched as Merian tensed up. "Not long enough..."

**

The flight to Paris was in total silence. Relena seemed to be off in 

another world, Heero noticed. While he was still trying to take 

everything in. He turned to watch his close-eyed partner. Years, he 

thought. It had been years for the both of them and her conceivable 

ability to continually prove him wrong was still an ongoing presence. 

Every time his temper rose or he questioned something out of his 

place; she rose to the occasion.

Yes, Relena could never change. 

"We're almost there."

He sat up, thoughts interrupted by her voice. "How long are we going 

to stay here? I thought our original plans were to go to Germany."

She shrugged. "After our small detour, things changed. I think you and I 

are going to meet up with Dee and Quatre in Paris. While you were 

sleeping, I got a call. The German incident has already gained clearance; 

they're sending me the papers so that when we meet up with the others in 

London Hil and I can compare. S'okay with you?"

He looked at her, eyes meeting the challenge. "Of course it is," he replied 

coolly. "Now can I ask you a question?"

She rolled her eyes. "If I get to ask you one."

"Fine."

"Fine."

He sighed and turned to face her. "How and why?"

"That's two questions, love," she responded, brushing a strand of hair 

out of her face. "I thought it was the one to one deal."

"Relena..."

She lifted her hands up in mock surrender. "What? You said one 

question."

"Please Relena."

She was silent for a moment, her expression blank. Finally she looked 

at him and spoke. "It's not like any of us were presented with choices, 

Heero. From day one, our lives, my life has been in the hands of that 

old and senile man."

He looked at her. "And?"

Blue eyes pierced him still. "And what? Do you want me to pour out 

my bloody life story to you? Word by word, emotions so raw that it'll 

strangle you? You don't understand. You'll never understand. And I 

don't need you to understand. So please for your own sanity, don't ask 

or pry anymore."

He was tired of this. Eventually, she would have to tell him. They 

needed to have some basis of trust after all. She was the one who 

had left...

"How do you expect me to work along side of you if I don't trust you?"

Click.

Heero's eyes widened as he found himself in a headlock with a silver 

knife a breath's way from his neck.

"I never asked you to trust me," she whispered, her breath softly dancing 

against his skin. "I never asked you to come. I never asked you to fight. I 

have a job to do, love. I have people to protect. Sit down and chill out, we 

should be in Paris in an hour."

She let go of him and suddenly, a feeling he that never felt before 

begin to rise. 

He felt lucky to be alive.

**

"Great," she muttered, eyes peering into Duo's worried ones. "Just fucking 

great."

"What's going on?" Duo whispered. Both could hear the screams 

and shouts from the commotion from down below. He watched 

as Hilde rolled over and lifted her pant leg up, revealing a .45 magnum 

and a small handgun. She reversed her side and pulled up the other 

pant leg, revealing another .45 and small handgun.

She looked up at him and bit back a smile at the expression on 

his face. "I'm well prepared, what can I say?"

He shook his head and grabbed the two guns she pushed 

towards him. She motioned for him to lay low.

"This is what's called a roundup," she whispered, eyes watching 

at least a hundred men and women charging at the fifty of Paci's 

crew, whom he had only talked to moments before. His soul was 

screaming at him to do something, but his mind having it's logical 

moment said no. Hilde as if reading his mind spoke up.

"Playing hero is something that you don't want to even venture 

onto in a place like this. Your skills as a gundam pilot won't help 

you here, it's a different world than what you believe it is."

Duo felt his patience begin to wear thin. "Then what do you suggest 

we do, babe? There's two of us and about a hundred of them."

An unfamiliar glint lit up in Hilde's eyes. She pointed to the truck 

where what look like soldiers were loading people inside. "That's 

an armory truck and mistake number one. These soldiers although 

larger in number have no experience what so ever. What Larson is 

doing is he's saving all those that have experience for the battlefield. 

It may look extremely difficult, but in reality it's a piece of cake."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

A grin crossed her features, almost sardonic. "You are going to cover 

me from up here and then when I give you the signal you come down."

"And what about you?"

"I'm gonna jump."

**

She had never felt this nervous in her life. She had a reputation 

for being calm, cool, and collected, but there was something in 

the room that was disrupting the balance of her emotions. It was 

almost as if she was an overprotective mother, worrying about 

not only the future of her girls but what was going on in the 

present time.

"Ah, Doctor Peterson. I apologize for keeping you waiting. I had 

a number of things that demanded my attention."

"It's quite alright," she responded quietly. "I thought I was late."

He smiled at her, obviously hoping to convey the impression of 

him being charming. She didn't buy it though.

"I called this meeting in hopes that you could update me with the 

progress of our girls. Charles has done nothing what so ever to 

inform and my dear doctor you seem like just the person to help 

me. So, the progress?"

She said nothing, gathering her thoughts. Finally, she spoke. "Progress 

is as expected. The girls are easing back into their roles as pilots, 

retraining is something that is totally not needed. Currently, each girl 

and an assigned gundam pilot are at the requested locations. Stuttgart 

has been taken care of, but photographs will be sent to Silence as soon 

as they're developed properly and ready for analysis."

He leaned forward, eyes piercing her still. "And what of turning results?"

"One only confirmed, sir."

He leaned back, eyes closed. "That is unacceptable, Doctor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but unacceptable?"

"We have a war on our hands, Doctor. We cannot afford to wait for the 

process to continue at this pace."

She leaned forward, almost in complete shock and listened to him 

continuing on. "Who has turned so far?"

She almost didn't want to answer. She wanted to scream that the 

reason he was still living was because of her girls. Instead she 

answered quietly, "Demoness."

He was silent for a moment. "Good, good. Do we at least know 

who's next? Any signs?"

She watched him, eyes narrowing. He was speaking of them as if 

they were trained animals. He looked at her. "Doctor? Emma? Is 

there anything wrong?"

She stood up, pushing a strand of silver hair out of her eyes. "Listen," 

she began softly. "I may be old, my dear. But these old eyes have seen 

more things beyond your years. You rush the process, you'll get even 

more than you can handle."

She got up and slammed the door behind her.

"And I intend to just that, my dear Doctor Peterson. I intend to 

do just that."

**

"... Love is a battlefield..."

She had always loved to sing. It was natural for her, her mother was a 

singer, and her grandmother was a jazz singer and played the piano. 

She never had the courage to actually show her talent in front of a live 

audience. Her anxiety would never let even near the stage, so as a result 

she ended up burying herself amongst the books.

"And that was Pat Benatar with the her hit..."

She shut the radio off, somehow preferring silence at the 

moment. Reminiscing was not what she came to do. 

Glancing at the packet of papers beside her, her determination 

began to rise once more.

"I'm doing this for you, Thomas. I'm doing this so that maybe one 

day you and I can have some peace," her voice was soft, almost as 

if she was gently scolding a child.

"Paci will know your secrets. I have made sure of this. I cannot stand 

to see more people die for your non-existent cause. I will be the first 

of the last."

**

"... In other news, NSI leading specialist Lynne Jones died in a car crash 

today. According to reports, her car hit a patch of ice left by the recent 

snowstorm to hit Moscow last week. No reports on burial services..."

She couldn't breath. Movement wasn't even physically possible even 

though her body was screaming for her to get out and go. She faintly 

heard the phone ringing in the background, most likely hoping for her 

attention. She let out a shaky sigh and made her way towards the ringing 

phone, already knowing deep inside of her who the person on the other 

line was.

"Hello?"

"I need you to get into the London base somehow."

"The London base? What am I looking for?"

There was a chuckle. "You ask too many questions, Little Rose. Your 

flight is at three." The voice then took a more serious tone. "Do not 

fail me, Lana. I don't want to waste a valuable asset."

She set the phone down quietly and closed her eyes. A tear fell gently 

down her cheek and she soon found herself sobbing.

"I'm so sorry Duo. I'm so sorry..."

**

Dictionary:

  1. Another way to say 'my dear' in French.
  2. Mister.
  3. It's a term used in Spanish along the same lines as 'sweetheart'. It's a sweet-talking term.

**

So begins the first of the new chapters... Exciting, eh?


	5. Prelude to Chaos

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

DISCLAIMER: I honestly think these things are pointless. But

in fear of getting sued to nothingness, I do not own Gundam

Wing. Although maybe for my seventeenth birthday in a month...

**

Part Four: Prelude to Chaos

"Standing in the middle of yesterday

Where it all went wrong

Where we made mistakes..."

~ Our Lady Peace, "Middle of Yesterday"

**

Paris.

It was the city of lights.

It was the city of love.

It was the city of broken memories.

Everything in Paris was still as lavish as she remembered, she 

thought with a wry smile. The airport was still very much 

suave and outrageous, glass windows giving an elaborate view 

of the city and pearly white floors hoping to convey wealth 

and cleanliness. Exuberant but elegant, she was in Paris. The 

shrill ring of her cell phone rudely interrupted her thoughts. 

"Shit," she muttered, fumbling with the buttons. "Hello?"

"Rel?," came the response from Cat's soft and tired voice. She 

relaxed, the tension of the last couple hours releasing its hold 

on her. "Bad time, huh?"

She sighed softly, sitting in the nearest chair. She rubbed her 

face tiredly. "No, it's good that you called. I need to her some 

sort of reassurance after god knows how long in the bloody 

airport."

Catherine chuckled. "Bitter much? Where's Yuy?"

"Bathroom, flying really took its toll on him," she responded 

darkly. "It's been interesting so far..."

"Rel..."

"Look," she began. "I'm trying, but I have absolutely no 

sympathy what so ever with issues the concern the project. 

Doc made it clear. Besides, I was nice at first."

Cat sighed. "Honey, you probably scared him shitless. Although 

I do find a bit of humor in the situation in a perverse way."

"Good," she muttered. "I'm glad I can provide entertainment 

nonetheless. How's South Africa? And before you answer that 

question, is it even humanly possible for Jasper to be on time 

for anything?"

"I think you answered your own question, dear. To answer the 

question about my own little rendezvous, it hasn't started yet. 

I leave in an hour or two for the boat to get to the mines. Right 

now, I've been taking care of some business."

"And you say I'm bitter," she mocked with a small grin. Her 

expression became serious. "So what news do you carry?"

"Well, we have an ASAP calling to London as soon as tasks 

are fully completed." Her voice grew darker, with a weary 

tinge. "There are some unhappy people. Doc sound shaky 

when she mentioned London."

She bit her lip, eyes unconsciously watch Heero warily. The 

only time Doc became angry was when there were talks 

about 'turning'. "Cat," she began softly. "The Process..."

She heard a gasp. "You think?"

It was a question the both knew the answer to, but it remained lingering 

in the air. If it did proceed to happen this soon at least, things were not 

going well at all. Relena glanced at her watch and then spoke.

"Be careful and remember to keep a low profile."

Silence.

"You too. Try to keep your sanity in check."

A faint smile crossed her lips.

"Can't make any promises, love."

**

He had never seen Dorothy Catalonia clutch anything so 

dear in her life. He would have deemed the situation 

somewhat amusing, but from the look of Quatre's 

haggard expression and the wild glint in Catalonia's 

eyes it was better to keep his lips sealed. Beside it 

seemed to be his safest option.

He didn't really need to have Relena pull a 

knife on him again.

He felt kinda proud in a way. Well, a sick, perverse 

way, but proud. She didn't take any bullshit from 

anyone, but she made herself know in a quiet, 

respectable manner. Except when you pissed 

her off.

"Where's Rellie?"

He looked up surprised, meeting the blank yet 

unnerving expression of Dorothy. "She's..."

"Right here." He turned around and saw Relena 

walking towards the trio with a really shady looking 

character. Christ, he thought. I'm losing it because 

Duo's the only one who uses the term 'shady'. He 

shook his head and watched as a grin formed on 

Dorothy's lips.

"Well if it isn't the mechanical bastard himself. Bonjour 

Jasper! Still robbing candy from small children?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. He reminded Heero of one of those 

characters out of those really cheesy gangster movies, greasy 

hair and all. "And you mon cher seem to still hold the reign 

on the role of Jezebel."

Relena smacked him, causing the man to wince. "Act your 

age," she muttered. 

"She started it," Jasper exclaimed, clutching his arm.

"She merely spoke for the two of us."

Jasper held up his hands. "Hey, hey animosity is not 

welcome. And beside I understand when I am 

surrounded."

Relena rolled her eyes and Dorothy shook her head. This 

guy was a complete character, Heero thought. A Duo 

Maxwell gone wrong. Jasper sighed and then grinned. 

"These are the Gundam pilots, no?"

Heero watched Relena groan and close her eyes, expressing 

her initial frustration. Dorothy stepped forward, the wild 

glint returning to her eyes. He could have of sworn he heard 

Winner mummer, "Oh God..."

"Did you secure a place?" 

"Of course, mon cher. At the Petit-Astre [1] near the flea 

market. I am not stupid. I make good plans."

"Sometimes I wonder," Relena muttered. "Listen Jasper, Heero 

and I will catch up with you guys later." He watched her briefly 

meet Dorothy's gaze. "Got something I need to do, love."

Jasper nodded and finally took the hint, motioning for the other 

two to follow. Dorothy turned to Relena, holding up the package 

she clutched. "London."

She nodded. "London."

They waited until the group had vanished into the sea of people 

in the airport. He heard Relena let out a shaky sigh. "Look Heero," 

she began softly. "I know you were expecting someone else, 

someone who I can never be now or ever again. Although it 

was rather amusing to see your expression after I pulled a knife 

on you, it was completely unnecessary."

She grasped his arm gently, causing a familiar tremor to run 

through his body. It was that same feeling he felt so many 

years ago, on Libra when... He sighed. It seemed the endless 

waltz had no intention of leaving him alone. Wonderful, he 

thought. Everything is just wonderful.

Relena continued on. "I have the greatest respect for you, 

Yuy. Deeper than you'll ever know, but you at least need 

to understand this for me. You and I are a team, partners. 

You complete me and I complete you. It's as simple as 

that, but you need to learn how to trust me because out 

there... Out there is a world that you can only trust one 

person. So please, onegai [2] don't make another Dorothy 

and Quatre relationship. You saw how they were... I want 

to be on good terms before I... Before I..."

He unconsciously pulled her closer. "She turned didn't she?" She 

nodded. It was enough for him, no better answer was needed. 

From an outsider's point of view, they looked like a young couple 

in love hoping to have a fresh start. It was love that had with stood 

so many trials and tribulations.

"I understand, Relena."

**

She forgot how beautiful South Africa was. Endless plain after plain 

spread almost into eternity and then if you turned around you were 

faced with the luscious green rainforest. Whirlwinds of green and the 

sounds of nature rung in her ears. It was a very surreal experience.

She still missed the fog-induced streets of Moscow.

"Agent Bloom?"

She turned around. "Yes?"

"We're going to dock soon. Shall I go and let Mr. Barton know 

that it's time to be on deck?" She shook her head and pointed to 

where Trowa was standing.

"It's completely unnecessary. I think he found me..." 

The young agent smiled and took the hint to leave. She grabbed 

her backpack and motioned for Trowa to follow. Standing at the 

edge of the boat as it ready to dock, she turned to Trowa. "Stay 

close to me. I've been to this area before so I'm not viewed as a 

threat, you will be deemed as an outsider."

"Hostile people?"

She felt a smirk trying to grace itself onto her features. "You could 

say that..." Once the boat docked and their group gathered on the 

dock, Catherine found herself stiffening at a familiar presence.

"McPerson," she growled.

A smirked crossed her oppositions' features. She could see, no feel 

the predatorial glint in the blonde-haired, blue-eyed man. She nearly 

groaned as she met the eyes of McPerson's partner, Katie Jenkins. 

I'm surrounded by my favorite people, she thought bitterly.

"Bloom, you're still as lovely as always. Council was worried you and 

ya pal would run into some trouble."

She crossed her arms. "So let me guess, they had to sent 

you and the scantily-clad Jenkins?"

He winced and she watched with immense pleasure as Jenkins 

took a step back. She felt Trowa stiffen. He heard some stories, 

she thought. Great...

"Look, spare me the drama. I have twenty hours before I need 

to report to London. This is business and that means," she 

paused, pointing to the two standing in front of her. "I want 

no crap from either of you. I don't want to relive Siberia. 

Understood?"

"Of course lass. Anything for my girl."

She glared at him.

"Let's go."

**

"So what's this? The backstabber's hijack reunion?"

Merian held back a smile as she watched Colin growl. He wanted to 

play, she'd play. There was no sense in wasting a good 'ol ass kicking. 

She was a firm believer in that concept. She watched as he motioned 

for his men to take the controls.

"I wouldn't do that," she began with a singsong voice. "It's on auto-pilot..."

He looked at her. "You knew didn't you..."

She looked at him innocently. "Who me?" She motioned Wufei to stand 

behind her. Since these guys were dumb enough and she could probably 

make this work... He kept his eyes on her.

"You knew I was on board?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, slowly pointing to her pant leg as if she were 

itching it. "I could of known." She watched Colin with a semi-amused 

expression. He was getting pissed off.

"You did."

She rolled her eyes, letting out a sigh. "Are we going to argue like a bunch 

of three year olds?" She felt Wufei unhitch the gun from its harness. 

"Enlighten me," she began signaling for Wufei to resume his position. So 

far so good...

"Why'd ya decide to hijack a plane full of old and senile men and 

women? I mean honestly? Wouldn't that be cramping your style?"

He smirked. "Same sense of humor. Still a damn bitch." He pointed to 

Wufei. "Boss wants 05 alive and well." She watched as Colin's two 

henchmen grabbed Wufei, who tensed visibly. Colin cocked his gun at 

her forehead. She wanted so badly to laugh. He was taking the bait...

"See the boss told me to kill the Council so he had no trouble. Come on, 

without the rich old farts in the back Paci's nothing. And not to mention, 

the world's a better place."

She rolled her eyes. "And you'd shit your pants when that happens."

He ignored her, taunting her with the cool metal of the gun's barrel 

pressed even further into her forehead. Thank god for my high pain 

tolerance, she thought wryly. "Then much to my pleasure, you'd have 

no use in this plan of ours. So as sad as I am to waste a hot piece of 

flesh like yours, any last?"

She looked at him and nodded, a cold smirk slowly spreading across 

her face. "Yeah, you know what? I do."

He gave her a cocky smile. "And what's that?"

She stretched out her legs with a mock yawn.

Moron.

"Fuck you."

She dropped kicked Colin, flipping him backward onto the ground 

with a resounding crack. Mentally wincing, she grabbed the gun and 

found herself faced with very POED henchmen. A sugary smile 

crossed her features. "Problem, gents?" Before response could 

happen, Wufei managed to take control of the situation with a 

roundhouse combination that left a broken nose and a concussion. 

"Not bad Gramps. Not bad at all."

He gave her a death glare and something that closely resembled a 

smile. For a fleeting second, she was reminded of how handsome 

Wufei was when he smiled. It brought a comforting feeling inside 

of her. She shook her head and slid into the controls. Now was 

not the time for reminiscing.

"What do want me to do, onna?"

She pointed to a compartment above the door to the cockpit and 

tossed him another gun. "There should be some rope and masking 

tape in there. Put them in the cabin, the council will decide what to 

do with them."

"Just like that?"

"Wufei," she began quietly. "This is an organization that you keep 

your mouth shut and don't ask any question when it regards 

traitors."

"They're going to be executed?"

"Wufei, I suggest if you want to spare yourself with any further 

confrontations with my anger don't press the matter."

"They are."

She gripped the controls, almost violently unswitching autopilot. The 

feeling again, her breath became short and she let out soft gasps. It's 

too early...

"Chang, I'll tell you again. Don't push it; just do what your fucking 

told for once. I need to land this bitch."

She closed her eyes.

Cairo here we come...

**

The room was dark enough to allow some comfort, light only making 

its presence known when the door was opened and shut. He watched 

his hand swirl his wineglass around and around, the crimson liquid 

touching the edges quickly. He barely heard the phone ring in the 

background.

"Beautiful..."

The phone rang again, the ring sounding more urgent this time. He 

frowned, something was not right.

"Hello?"

"Sir, this is the London base. We are just responding to orders to let 

you know that everything is ready."

"Oh? Is that all..."

"Corporal, sir. Corporal James Henry, sir."

"Well you seem like you're holding back, Henry. Is there something 

wrong? You know I don't like problems."

He heard a shaky sigh and let a smirk cross his features. It was good 

stuff then. "Sir, we have a Lana Emanuel here waiting in the front 

office for Mr. Maxwell. She says its urgent business."

"Urgent business?"

"Yes, but we did a check and we found that her trip was paid by 

a J.P Carson from Brussels."

"Thomas Larson, eh?"

He heard a sigh. "We have a mole, sir. What should we do 

with her? Protocol calls for-"

"Send her to housing and keep her there. Tell her its regulation 

and that Maxwell should be there within some time. Inform Ms. 

Schibecker and then continue with plans."

He hung up.

This was good.

Very good.

Maybe he'd only have to put three of them through the 

process after all.

**

[1] Little Star

[2] It means please.

**

This was a message before FF.net went down:

Oh, challenge by the way. MY birthday is coming up on August 3 and I challenge someone to 

write a Trowa/Relena fic. The plot has to involve them being trapped somewhere and they are 

forced to completely rely on each other. Has to be romance/ angst too! Gotta send it to me

first.

R&R please!

The after message ff.net came up:

Sorry posting took so long. I was in Florida for a time

and really couldn't do much of anything except write.

Which by the way, I got a lot of new stuff that I'm working

on! 

I want ten reviews this time!

(;

Ev 


	6. When Everything Goes Bad

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

__

"I'm only happy when it rains

My only comfort is the night gone black

I'm riding high upon a deep depression

I'm only happy when it rains."

Garbage, "Only Happy When it Rains."

**

Part Five: When Everything Goes Bad

**

//_Graveyards were definitely not her thing. The cold air and the dead trees created an atmosphere of emptiness. Something she was all too familiar with, unfortunately. She walked slowly behind her ba-ba and her pa-pa, her only relatives left now. The old man and woman despite how much their bodies aged, walked with their heads held high and proud. She admired them for it, for it was something she could only do out of respect. She had nothing left to give anymore. Her eyes wandered to the girl next to her. Poor Dee, she thought tiredly. Her eyes were empty and faded, somewhat resembling crushed emeralds. Her long blonde hair hung limply against her shoulders, gently brushing against her face with the winds. Her head was lowered, unlike the rest of the small group. She couldn't even imagine what was going through the other girl's mind._

Yet she knew that she herself was about to lose all brink of sanity.

They reached the fresh grave silently, the priest opening the bible to start the typical Orthodox ceremony as her ba-ba and mother requested before her death.

Request...

Promise...

She had promised to take care of Alexi on that horrid night at the concentration camp in St. Petersburg. She had promised to be his family, to take care of him without regarding anything else. But like many others before me in this time of absolute hell, she sold my soul.

She sold her soul in order to survive.

To live her life with regrets.

With anger and with pain.

In total darkness.

The irony of it all...

Her codename was Darkness. She was the pilot who trained to kill and disappear with no trace, but a shadow, one shadow in the dark. It's the way it was, the way it will always be.

She had become nothing.

No more duty for her family.

No more love.

Rationality.

Anger.

Emotionless.

Darkness.//

She opened her eyes, with a soft gasp. "Alexi," she mummered softly. She had left them to the dogs. It was inconceivable, she knew. She went into this with no brother and she would leave it with no brother either, regardless of the past promises she had made. And she also knew that no matter what she did or say, she would always be haunted by the past. It was curse whether willing or not she had to take.

"Catherine?"

She looked up to meet Trowa's emerald green eyes filled what she could make out as concern. She sighed. He wanted to battle, then she'd battle.

"You have questions?"

It was more like a sense of common knowledge than a question. She could feel it radiating off of him. This should be interesting. Trowa slowly sat down in the seat across from her, eyes never leaving her own.

"Yes."

She pushed herself up off the seat, leaning forward with her hands on either part of her face. Her eyes watched him carefully, pinning him still. She motioned for him to start, they still had a little while before they reached the cave.

"Where are we going?"

She was silent, grabbing a picture out of her knapsack. She handed it to him, careful to avoid any full contact. She watched as his eyes clouded with confusion.

"It's a cave."

She nodded. "Yes, it's an old diamond mine."

"But what is our purpose?"

Violet eyes met emerald. "We are going to retrieve a map and nothing more. It'll be explained once we get to London. Anymore _questions_?"

He handed her back the photograph. 

"Who is Alexi?"

//_She stood tall and stared strait ahead to avoid any visual contact. She'd break down if she did. And if they saw her break down, it was back to the chamber for her. She had nothing left. She was dead._

Dead...

Dead...//

"Alexi is my brother."

**

Okay so she was an adrenaline junkie.

She wasn't ashamed to admit it. It was a part of her in some weird way that had never left when she took on the mission to become Gundam Pilot 02's watcher and protector. A charming part of her personality she remembered telling Relena once. Of course Re's dry response to that comment was that she was bloody nuts regardless of what she did.

Good ol' Re.

That was a partnership that she rather take into effect now than instead of her _supposedly _growing bond with her counterpart. She took a breath and hide behind a cement beam, eyes wandering to the top of the roof where she could see a still bewildered Maxwell watching her. Hilde bit back a smirk. She told him she was going to jump.

Now to set things right and get down and dirty for business.

She closed her eyes. Its time, she thought. It's time to get into the frame of mind and open up that scary part of me.

Yeah.

She slowly opened her eyes.

__

Five men armed center and to right, holding three Paci guards unarmed.

Six bullets, four in her pocket... She pushed herself into a standing position, slowly twisting the silencer and pointing the gun into position.

One.

__

Attention focused on her position, one man attending while Paci guards are shoved into open truck. Three left to terminate.

She glanced quickly, watching Duo out of the corner. He was still there, waiting for her signal incase of trouble. She held her breath in, keeping an eye on the approaching three.

Too easy.

Two.

Three.

__

Four and five watching her post cautiously. She would deal with five on her own.

Raising her hand swiftly, she motioned for Duo to do the deed.

Four.

Thank god, they were farther away from the other ambushers.

"Who's there? I'm armed!"

She smirked when she heard the panicked cries of victim number five. She had three minutes to spare, well to play that is.

The wind blew a wisp of her ebony colored hair.

It's showtime.

**

"She's not that bad of a brood."

Quatre's moved his gaze up, staring at the shorter man in front of him. It was bad enough that every single emotion in the room had decided to target him as a receptor. All he wanted was a break now and the sad thing was he knew he looked disoriented.

"Excuse me?"

It was the only thing he could offer in terms of speech.

"Mlle. Dorothy. She isn't that bad."

Okay, he never ever thought bad thoughts about anybody even Dorothy for that matter. But there was something so close to evil. This whole thing was just beyond confusing. They weren't involved in a war; it was more like the apocalypse.

Good and evil, the race against time.

"Her eyes are dead."

Jasper chuckled lowly and shook his head. "It seems to me, Mousier Winner that you had a specific perception of her. And when you finally saw the core of her very existence, you changed your view almost immediately."

"I don't understand what you're implying. But I do know what I am seeing. I do not see a soul."

He watched as the other man leaned forward, a chilling grin bearing all his teeth. "Mlle. Dorothy and I do not get along, I admit that. Yet, I respect the woman, all of the girls, without any exception. What they lived through and what they're willing to die for goes beyond any bravery and honor anyone has."

He paused.

"She has a soul, Mousier Winner, but an incomplete soul."

** 

Late.

The taxi ride had been silent so far. Relena had contacted Dorothy from the airport, telling her that they'd be there in less than twenty minutes. Speaking too soon, they had run into some horrible traffic. It didn't seem to bother Relena all too much, but to him the stupid taxi ride seemed endless. His eyes turned to his partner, who was leaning against the seat with her arms crossed and eyes shut.

Questions.

Oh, he had many of those. He didn't know where to start if he ever had or was _granted_. But there one question that he was dying to ask, one question that to him would make sense of everything.

"Just ask it, Heero," Relena's tired voice spoke, interrupting his thoughts. "It's the one question that I'll actually make an honest attempt to answer."

He sighed. "How did it happen?"

She turned to face him, eyes cast astre. "We didn't have any training like you did. Everything we have learned, everything we have come to become is all based on basic survival," she paused with a sigh. "I might as well be the one to explain it, love. There's no way any of the others will have the same rationality, now. Especially since Dee was the first to turn."

And it begins...

"We were born during a time when peace and prosperity were at the peak of all peaks. My mother was the daughter of one of Ireland's Ministers and father was a young prince, they had both married at the call of direct duty. My father became king at this time and then nearly a year later Millardo came, then ten years later with things starting to crumble into tinier pieces... I came. My mother's family had been notified... Meanwhile, Dee-dee was born to a very happy Count and Countess in France. Cat was the daughter of an English Diplomat and Russian court belle and teething. Hil beat me by three hours and a day and was the daughter of Spanish animal rights activists. Mer was born to a family of twelve in Perking, they were a farming family. Cat is the oldest and I am the youngest."

"You talk of your families as if they're dead," he spoke softly.

She chuckled. "You pick up on everything, don't you?" He knew it was a way for her to avoid further conversation. He didn't push, knowing that she would tell him when she was ready. It was an almost a warming feeling that she had started to partially trust him again. Another sigh and he watched as she shifted to the window.

"Without disrespecting the other's need for privacy, I'll just speak about my time."

She took a deep breath and his hand reached out to grab hers. Relena looked at him in surprise, but said nothing.

"Despite the records and the history books, my father didn't even come close to the greatness that they all portrayed. He had no interest in success or the people, only furthering the power of the Federation. His marriage to mother was only out of convenience and a wish from my grandfather on his deathbed."

She paused, tapping on the window that separated them from the driver. She pointed to the right. She continued on.

"When Millardo was born, my father was ecstatic. For a time he had begun to persecute the people and with a new son it only became worse. People were starving and dying on the streets. This granted the Alliance an opportunity as well as secretly the Society to slowly pick everything my father had supposedly worked for. The Society is what my father should have worried about, for it was being headed by one of his own, General Wallace Harrington, his top aid and advisor." 

"The man was a total military genius and had high hopes to orchestrate a takeover, pawing both my mother and brother as initial players. It, to make a long story short, was a bitter battle between my father and him that was taking the turn towards a stalemate. That's when I came along..."

//_"Michael, please," Margaret cried out, her blue eyes filled with undeniable fear. "Please don't do this."_

With a crazed look in his sky-blue eyes, Michael Peacecraft snatched the quiet child and almost threw her at the General. Thank god his son wasn't here, he though suddenly. The boy had grown an attachment to his daughter. He turned to his sobbing wife.

"She can't be my daughter," he began with a growl, pushing out any feelings within. "She barely even speaks and never wants to play with the other children. She's a freak, goddamn it! Plus I have sons, no goddamn daughters!"

He turned to Harrington. "My trusted friend, take her to the camps. I have no use for a daughter."

"But what about her highness?"

His expression turned to grim. It was almost as if he did love his wife and daughter from some period of time.

"I will deal with my wife."

The General nodded and took the small girl by the shoulders, guiding her out of the room.

Screams.

"Mama..."//

The taxi cab pulled up at the front of the restaurant and Heero spotted Dorothy.

"We're going to have to continue this conversation later."

He nodded.

Hopefully, there would be a later.

**

Relena and Heero were late.

She hated lateness.

__

Brr-ring!

Almost as much as she hated cell phones.

"Welcome to Satan's Answering Service. We strive to take last minute confessions and then laugh at you after you're done."

There was a chuckle.

"You sound cheery."

"Rel's late," she muttered. "Rel's never late."

Another chuckle.

"Paris had bad traffic and Rellie's with Yuy, you gotta give her a break."

Dorothy rolled her eyes. "I don't trust the gundam pilots. I have never trusted them or the people they keep in contact with, Mer."

"That's partially the reason I called. You have to tell Rel to call me."

Silence.

"Leak?"

"Something like that. I just found out after my near death experience with Colin's band of morons. Plus landing the damn plane was a fucking pain in the ass. Migraine status has gone off the charts let me tell you."

"Let me get this strait," she responded. "Plane, Colin, leak?"

"Nope. Colin, Plane, then the damn leak or mole if you prefer specific terminology. We're on a secure line."

"So to speak."

"Uh-uh. Sure. Fine. Whatever."

She shifted from foot to foot, watching Jasper try to make conversation with the petrified Winner.

"Who's taking care of this?"

She was met by a sigh. "Hil's under strict orders to do the dirty deed but has no clue she does, ironically. You on the other hand are under orders not to get involved."

A smirk crossed her face. "They're afraid of little 'ol me?"

"Dee-Dee..."

"What?"

There was silence and her expression darkened.

"Just tell the boo, I called. I need to talk to her."

Eyes shut.

"Fine."

"Take care."

A taxi pulled up and Heero stepped out followed by Rel.

"Fuck."

**

"Miss?"

She looked up, squeezing her hands tightly to stop them from shaking. For Duo, she thought. For a normal life...

No, her conscious argued. You're doing it for Tommy. It's always been for Tommy. He needs to see.

"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to come with us."

Tommy...

"You," she began softly. "You said what? My ear infection has gotten worse."

Tommy...

Her hand reached for the gun.

"Miss..."

Game...

**

...Time

Three men down to go. Duo had covered the roof well, she thought with a smirk.

WAITING.

Behind the shed, over the bridge... It was the same pattern of the Hinoiri* gang from Tokyo.

Oh shit.

"Duo!"

She grabbed a shot gun from the side and kicked up a knife. Duo turned and saw the guy, but it was too late.

"Drop the gun, kawaii-onna*."

Someone's gonna get his ass kicked, she thought, holding back the overwhelming urge to just shoot the man now.

The two goons from the behind the shed and the bridge stepped out slowly approaching her warily. Her eyes wandered to their guns.

Man one, one bullet. Ten seconds to load cartilage in right pocket. He's favoring it with opposite hand.

She had one for him.

Hilde slowly brought the shotgun to the ground.

"Stand up with your hands in the air."

She stood, eyes never breaking contact with Duo''. AT least he didn't move.

Man two, double round. One to the head, slide tackle from the left side.

"I never thought I'd see the day I'd get to kill the exceptionally beautiful Goddess of Death and her delicious looking partner."

They hacked.

Note to self, kill the moron who deleted Relena's security system. Better yet, making go through the installation process. 

"You're a perv man," she heard Duo mutter.

Note number two to self; make sure this one goes quickly

Man Three, six rounds and knife to the heart with the quickie neck break. The see if Maxwell is okay, send him to kil driver.

"Can I ask you a question, muchacho?"

The guy's eyes narrowed and she spotted the knife a foot away from him. Her eyes moved to Duo's.

Duck and kill the driver.

He nodded, a smirk crossing his features. They were working quite well together. 

Stranger things happen.

"Go ahead."

"Do you rally think that these two ill do a decent job killing me?"

And now the three step program on getting rid of distractions that really should be outlawed.

"You have a death wish?"

She grinned. "Of course I do, mi querida. I wouldn't be standing here if I didn't."

"And what's that?"

Step one.

She brought her foot under the knife, flipping it up and open. She jumped up and side kicked it through number three's heart.

Step Two.

She grabbed number three's gun and decide to just put number two out of his own damn misery, putting a bullet through his heart and breaking his neck.

Step Three.

Face off.

"Honey," she said with a grin. Duo grabbed the guy and had his gun to the guy's forehead.

"If I had a death wish, you think I'd be here?"

WINNER.

She turned to Duo. "Go get the driver and check on the others. I'll take care of this guy."

She watched as her hesitated for a brief moment. Her eyes darkened. The Pilot's impending fear of them was becoming a problem that would create a lot of messy situations.

She could smell fear.

"Go Do," she spoke softly.

"Go."

"Babe, don't-"

"Don't argue with me." Her eyes watched as the goon trembled. She could feel the darker side of her itching to get out.

"Go Duo. I'll deal with this."

He looked at her sideways and then nodded, running off towards the truck.

"I have questions."

"No," the goon started. "You need answers."

She kicked him to the ground, watching in a somewhat perverse pleasure as blood came flowing out of his nose.
    
    "Why were you hired?"

"I don't know. Maybe you could tell me."

She grabbed him by the collar, blue eyes blazing.

"Do not fuck with me. I am the last person you want to do that with."

He shrugged. "I might as well hiei-chan."

Flying phantom?

It's been years since she'd been called that.

He grinned. "Strike a cord?"

She kicked him into the wall, hearing as some bone in his body decided to crack. She pulled him up to her eye level and in a voice she only recognized from so long ago.

"I asked you a question. I want an answer."

He paled.

"Alright, alright. Larson's right hand Nickleson hired us and promised Gei-sama* that we'd e a top benefactor."

She searched his eyes. "Gei? What happened to Mamoru?"

He sighed. "The old man's dead 'course. Gei, which isn't his really name, actually no one really knows what it is. Anyway he is Larson's supplier for the Brussels' fraction, which is the strongest of all the Societies' base. Crazy S.O.B is even starting another bunch of camps."

Her eyes narrowed as the man continued on. Gei? The name seemed so familiar to her.

"I really thought those things were great. More money-"

__

Bam!

Birds flew in a heap over the roof and a raven landed on the side.

__

Death becomes me.

"Muchos gracias," she whispered, expressionless. "You have been most helpful."

Gei*...

**

Wufei leaned against the wall as he waited for Merian to return. She's alive, he thought. She's really alive and right in front of me...

But what about Sally?

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by the video-phone. "Oh what the hell," he muttered. "Might as well answer the damn phone."

He pressed the receive button and almost jumped when he saw Doctor Peterson's face on the receiving end.

"Ah, Mister Chang, is Merian around? The matter is of great importance."

His facial expressions drew back in bitterness. What now? He didn't think that he could take another plane hijacking.

"The onna is-"

"Right here," Merian's voice came from behind. "What's up?"

"We have a code-six."

Wufei paled and expected Merian to flip out, but all she did was rub her temples. "It's the leak."

"Yes, I need you to go to London along with Relena and Hilde. Dorothy and Catherine are to stay in Paris until further instructions. Hilde will have to clean up the mess."

"Are you sure that's completely wise?"

The doctor sighed. "It's one less in the chamber."

"Fuck," Merian spat. She slammed her hand against the table. It must be fate her and the chamber from hell.

"What about Maxwell?"

"Yuy and Chang are enough on that department. I would imagine they'll have enough common sense..."

He tensed.

"You will be due in London in 070 hours. Briefing will occur on location."

Wufei watched as _End Transmission _blinked across the screen. Merian stood and glared at the mirror. He jumped in surprised as she slammed her fist full-force into the mirror.

"Fuck," she repeated. "Fuck."

"What does this have to do with Maxwell?" He wanted to know what the hell was going on. Merian turned to him, eyes blazing. He had only seen that look in her eyes the day before she had died in battle. 

It was a Warrior's look.

"Maxwell's girl took over the London base," she hissed.

"She's just put the nail in her own coffin."

**

*Hiei: Flying Phantom

*Gei: Trick

*Hinoiri: Sunset

**

End of chapter! Things are about to get cracking, aren't you all excited? Anyhow, I got some business to take care of. So first things first.

I have just received my 25th stupid flame. Read on:

Wow... That was the worst story I ever read! I mean you must be some sick sadistic person to write a story like that. And honestly... It could use a lemon... I

It gets worse, read the e-mail I also received:

Ok, so what's the deal? I started writing my review, but I go cut off midway,   
and I couldn't finish bashing you! I am so hurt... Ok, so anyway... whats up   
with the picture ojn your page? I mean can we say ugly... she could be   
Rouffy's sister. [Yes I know I am spelling his name wrong... so kill me.   
Anyway... to be honest... I didn't read your entire story, b/c... it needs a   
LEMON! I think every stroy does... I mean really... consider it! Ok, well I   
g/g and bash some other writter... Keep up the writting.. and I'll keep up   
the bashing!   
  
~ Lemon Goddess ~ 

Raise your hand if you think this is the worst flame in the world!

*raises hand*

Look at the spelling and the grammar. *winces* I'm not going to even begin to point out everything.

And poor Fei-kun...

Anyhow, my point is if you're going to flame me at all please don't follow the example from above. I believe in freedom of speech and the right to express yourself, but stupidity should be outlawed.

*shrugs*

On a better note, the story has *finally* decided to pick up. Chapters 6-8 will all be extremely crucial to the story and will also be divided into parts.

Also even more exciting for me is that I have another project coming out, something I decided I was going to write. It's going to be 3+R/R+3 with elements of Vampire Hunter D and Noir incorporated in. The title is going to be_ Kirei Ummei_, which translates into "Beautiful Destiny". Don't let the title deceive you though. There will be romance, but not in the expected way...

Of course Wanders has priority, so the posting will be one part of that story after every 3-4 parts of Wanders. I also have crossovers coming out soon, but the posting for that will vary.

And now from the generosity of my own heart... I honestly can't believe I'm doing this at all.

*sigh*

The preview for the next chapter...

*audience cheers*

*grumble* 

I am not doing this again...

Part Five: Tainted Love

~

"What's going to happen to her?"

She had never seen him like this, so sad. Relena sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. It had been too long of a damn day.

"She'll be shot and killed for treason," she stated quietly, but in a monotone voice. It was protocol after all, she thought bitterly.

"Agent Schibecker will question her first."

"That's ironic," he muttered bitterly. "That's too fucking ironic. Is she going to do the dirty deed?"

She said nothing.

"Is she?"

Duo grabbed Relena by the shoulders and shook her violently. Getting angrier by the minute when he failed to produce a struggle from the blue-eyed Jisatsu Pilot.

"Answer me, damn it! ANSWER ME!"

~ 

Oooo! R&R everybody, R&R.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. What more do you want from me? 

__


	7. The Firefly and the Doll

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

Disclaimer: No, no, and no! I refuse to say anymore and delve myself into a deeper pit of depression since I cannot claim ownership.

"I'm open to falling from grace."

-"6 Underground", Sneaker Pimps
    
    Interlude: The Firefly and the Doll

"I have a new playmate for you, mi querida."

The small raven-haired girl looked up, silently. Her blue eyes penetrated the wavering gaze of her assigned guardian. Her eyes then turned to a smaller girl, who stood next to the older woman obediently. She dropped her gaze back down to the small box, ignoring the two standing behind her.

"Hilde," the woman spoke again, tone more serious the before. She only spoke like this when she was becoming annoyed. The child bit back a grin. Mind games were always fun with the doctors and the council people.

"Do I have to report you to the Doctor?"

She rolled her eyes. Like that's going to happen.

"No."

The woman pushed the smaller girl forward, satisfied with her response. "Good, now play nicely."

As soon as the woman left, Hilde picked up her box and shoved it in front of the pale blonde. The tiny girl looked confused for a moment.

"Why are you giving me this?"

Hilde shrugged. "What's your name?"

The smaller girl looked up in surprise, but then complied to answer. "Dorothy," she answered quietly. 

"The names Hilde," she answered with a grin, eyes sparkling proudly. She pointed to the box. "And we can be friends if you understand what's in the box."

She looked at the other girl with confusion obvious in her eyes.

"Alright," she began slowly. "I'll do it. This place is scary and before I left the camp, Jasmine said a friend is a great thing to have along side of you in this world."

And with that Hilde left her in the gardens staring at the large brown box alone.

**

The gardens were beautiful at night, Doctor Peterson thought with a tiny smile. It was the only time the world seemed to grasp at least an ounce of normalcy.

She reached up and pulled out her hairpin, letting her long brown hair cascade down her back. She sighed; she missed her husband so much. His duty as a soldier taking him as far as L3 to watch what was going on satellite as well as check the out the fractions that were gathering. 

She wandered further down the path, admiring how the moonlight hit each flower bush, creating a surreal atmosphere.

She stopped.

In front of her sat the new girl from the Brussels camp, Dorothy was her name. The small girl was siting down on one of the benches. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, obviously down by Kria who was famous for them. But what was the most surprising thing to her was the intensity in her eyes.

Her eyes were the greenest she had ever seen.

Almost as if they were the eyes of a tigress hunting or even a demoness like the statues they had found in the ruins of South India.

And she had a feeling that she'd be seeing that intensity for a long time.

She decided to approach the girl, softly making her way to the bench and sitting beside her.

"Dorothy?"

The tiny child looked up surprised, but then calmed to reply, "Oui?"

"What are you doing?"

The child looked at her and then to the large box. "Trying to become Hilde's friend."

Peterson chuckled. So the little nymph was up to more mischief. Figures, but what was she up to now?

"Can I see what's in the box?"

She shook her head, tendrils of pale gold falling against her ivory skin. "No."

"And why not?"

She shivered. There was that intensity again.

"Because, you wouldn't understand."

"Oh?"

She was taken aback by this response. The child seemed to carry a deeper understanding in her voice like the other girls. There was something about all of them...

"Could you explain it to me?"

Dorothy giggled softly.

"I guess so," she responded lightly. Almost as if she were a normal child free of the pains she had to live through. She watched enchanted by the large box and the way the small child stuck her hand instead slowly.

She pulled out a headless doll, dressed in what she could make out as a rather burned Elizabethan era gown.

"This is Kayla," the six year-old began, her eyes then took on a darker look. "She symbolizes the past what was happiness and good luck before. And she's burned meaning that that's what happened to the past, the present is dark. But despite that, most of Kayla remains intact, while there is still a chance for us only if we fight."

She then pulled out a small glass container that contained a dimming firefly.

"And this is the symbol of what will happen if we don't. Like the story Jasmine used to tell me before bed, Alice in Wonderland, we will continue to look for a way home."

"Who told you this?"

She was trembling now. The child was starting to scare her. Dorothy shrugged.

"I didn't get it at first, but then Relena 'plained it to me and now I get to be Hilde's friend."

She calmed down and sighed. She would have to do a session tomorrow, but right now she wanted to speak with Hilde.

She gently pushed a strand of hair out of the child's face. "go to sleep, it'll be a long day tomorrow."

Dorothy nodded and grabbed the box, running towards the sleeping quarters.

Now to Hilde...

**

She knew the doctor was coming to see her. Her footsteps on the grass sounding like whispers as she crossed to her seat on the widow ledge.

"That was quite a stunt you pulled."

She shrugged, her eyes blazing in response to her comment.

"I had to make sure."

"Make sure of what?"

The wind hollowed and the tress began to shake. Stretching her arms out, Hilde responded.

"That's she's one of us. We each have something inside of all of us that will be unleashed some. I had to make sure that it was there, ready and waiting. Rellie just made sure she understood."

"Are you afraid to die?"

She shook her head remembering her morning session when they talked about death. Ironically, it was the same question she had asked her and she had given no response.

"No, because I am Death."

**

Her eyes were closed as the plane lifted off to London. She had been informed of the problem as soon as she and Maxwell had gotten into the Buenos Aires base. He refused to believe Lana was responsible for the mess in London. She had tired to tell him that she really didn't have a clue as to if it really was her. Someone could be playing a sick, sick joke.

But she knew from experience that anything could happen.

She also knew that she was close.

//_"No, because I am Death."_//

She would be seeing Kayla soon.

**

*waves*

Just a cheery interlude before I post the mother of all parts, which I am still working on. Obviously, Hilde's the next to turn but a word to the wise it's going to be more gruesome than Dorothy's.

There will be random interludes like this placed through out ICD. Remember that the girls weren't exactly the most normal six to eight year-olds.

Thank you for all the reviews. Special thanks to angelic1090 for the constant reviews! This interlude and the next part goes out to her.

To Lemon Goddess, I'll start taking the heat when you give me a decent review.


	8. Tainted Love a.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

__

"So impressed with all you do

Tried so hard to be like you

Flew too high and burnt the wing

Lost my faith in everything."

- Nine Inch Nails
    
    **

Part Six A: Tainted Love

**

[_You did the right thing. You should be proud of yourself. Thomas will be happy and you and him can finally live the life you want to. Free of the past and free of the weak idiots of the Earth. The colonies will finally have their revenge._]

But what about Duo, she wanted to whimper. What about the life they had made together and the bond that they shared?

[_It was nothing but a great fuck. You do understand that you used Duo and that his heart was never really yours to being with._]

"No," she whispered, her hands flying to her forehead. "I don't... I won't..."

[_You have no damn clue girly. Look at the file you pulled Schibecker or whatever her name is. That's the part of his life he never wanted to talk about. She's one of them._]

Lana's eyes widened. "Oh my..."

[_You see, it's not that hard. Everything is laid out right before you. You can get this done and then leave. The battle will be in our favor and there's nothing they can do about it._]

"But then what do I do? I'm risking everything," she mummered, eyes unconsciously looking over the file. "I could die."

[_Yes, you understood that concept once you entered the game. Remember? Or do I have to make you remember?_']

"No," she croaked. Thank god here was no one near the vicinity. She was going fucking crazy.

[_Just_ _look at the damn file. Just look at the damn file, it's all you have to do._]

Hilde Schibecker, it read. Impeccable fascination with the concept of death and dying.

[_She's the one._]

"I know."

[_Then challenge her, make her miserable._]

"But..."

[_Make her suffer._]

**

There are two different ways to drive a man insane.

One being locking him in a secluded room with no windows until he cracks and the other being have the closest person to him betray him or at least tell him that they did.

He was seeing red now.

"You're lying," he whispered, fist clenching at what the doctor just told him. He turned to Hilde, who's expression was completely blank.

"Tell me she's lying."

Silence was about all that greeted him, the doctor fidgeting and Hilde not moving. He grabbed her by the arms, eyes blazing.

"Tell me damn it that this is some kind of sick and fucking twisted joke. Lana wouldn't even hurt a fly."

Blank expression and silence was about all he was going to get from Hilde, he realized.

"Mr. Maxwell-"

He ripped himself off of Hilde's arms, slamming his hands on the table. "Damn it! I want a strait-"

"Mr. Maxwell, I have no control over things like this. You're going to have to calm down or else we'll sedate you and you'll never know what happened to Ms. Emanuel."

Duo lifted his hand and prepared to slap the doctor, his anger getting the best of him. Expecting a resounding crack, but he was suddenly stopped by a searing pain in his wrist. His eyes widened when he saw one pale ivory hand wrapped around and squeezing like there was no tomorrow. Slowly, his eyes traveled up. White skin of an arm, lavender silk shirt, scar right cheek, and bright blue eyes, which belonged to a very angry Hilde Schibecker.

"Don't ever let me catch you doing what you were about to do. You don't do that to anyone here."

Her eyes were on fire, challenging him to fight her if he dared. There was something else lying in her gaze too and the good doctor seemed to urge him silently to back off.

But him being the stupid son-of-a-bitch he was, he didn't.

"What are you going to do?" His voice was taunting her now. "Hit me?"

She slammed him against the wall. He could see it in her eyes, that presence demanding release. He could see that she was fighting it with her life.

"Don't make me do anything I'm going to regret. I'm tired, Duo. I'm tired of all you guys coming and staring at us like we had a choice in this matter. I'm tired of explaining myself to people. I'm tired of the past. But most of all, Duo... You know what?"

Her grip tightened on his shirt.

"I'm waiting for an answer."

And his answer came out, barely a whisper. He saw that he was trembling, no control of his body.

"What?"

Hilde's eyes were sparkling with a deadliness that he had once seen when he had first met her. 

"Are you scared, Duo? Are you scared of lil' ol' me? I thought you were only scared of me when I PMS."

He was beginning to understand...

"I'm tired of you thinking that you're the only one who suffers."

Her eyes returned to normal and he could see a faint teardrop roll down her cheek.

"You're surround by people who have seen it all. Have a little respect."

**

__

Drip…

A little to the right.

__

Drip...

Five steps forward and to the left.

__

Drip...

Almost there...

"Got it!"

Catherine heard a slight chuckle and she shot a look to an amused Trowa and was about to say something incredibly nasty in Russian but the shrill ring of her phone stopped her.

"Bloom."

She heard sobbing on the other line and her brow furrowed as she grabbed the manila envelope that had been hidden in the cave.

"Hello? Who is this?"

The sobbing grew harder and frantic. Her phone was a private line and only a select few had this number...

"Ca-t?"

Oh my god...

"Hil," her voice came out as a whisper. She motioned for Trowa to start walking back towards the boat.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

The sobbing stopped and there was a quiet sigh. "I'm starting, Cat. It's starting to happen to me too. I'm losing focus. I don't what to do. I can't go through this again."

She stopped, sitting down on one of the broken boulders near the entrance to the mining cave.

"Hil, you need to calm down and tell me what's going on."

"There was a leak," she began, breathing hard.

Catherine closed her eyes, gripping her cell phone harder. "And?"

"It was- It was- Lana Emanuel, Duo's girlfriend was, is a double agent. He's flipping out and almost hit Doc."

There was a sharp intake of breath on her part. Hitting Doc or even raising a hand towards the woman that was known as their mother was basically breaking a code of honor.

"Did you?"

"I almost turned, Kit. I almost turned but it was like I was turning for a slight purpose. There were memories and then there were none. I could have killed him, if my subconscious didn't continue to fight. It's almost like two polar opposites being put together, I'm going to burst soon."

She stood up slowly, restarting her walk to the boat. "You've got to just let go," she said in a quiet voice. She didn't care how defeated she sounded.

"Stop, Cat? Since when are you the goddamn advocate of giving up? What do you know now?"

Pushing a strand of hair out of her face, she answered carefully. "No one deserves to go through the process. Please promise me, if you have to then just let go. Death be large or small, expectance is of greater value."

And she hung up her phone with her eyes shut tightly. Doc had called nearly three hours ago letting her know that she'd have to go to Paris and that everything would be explained to her by Dorothy.

A leak?

This wasn't good. There had to be something going on in Paci, plus with the recent leadership of the council...

There were a million reasons to pick from, but there was one that was sticking out from them all.

She could think of one.

**

"It's like I'm suffocating. Almost as if Sandrock's piloting door is open and water is rushing in. That's how it feels, these emotions are nearly killing me. I have never felt so much sadness and yet I have never felt so much anger."

*pause*

"And there's something else, lying there. I don't understand any of this, Heero. And I honestly think that we shouldn't be here."

Heero said nothing, eyes closed and he seemed to be in deep thought. Quatre continued, not really paying any attention to the fact that he had begun rambling.

"This fight is something that we shouldn't be involved in. We can't do this, we shouldn't do this..."

Heero's eyes snapped open and he motioned for Quatre to quiet down, seeing both Dorothy and Relena approaching their table. Relena motioned for him to get up.

"We have to go," she said softly. She began to look older somehow. He narrowed his eyes something must have happened.

He stood up and followed behind her. Relena turned to Dorothy and nodded as she walked past her.

She turned to him as they re-entered the cab, blue eyes taking on a darker, more dangerous look.

"Everything starts now."

**

"Get up."

He tried to push himself into some sort of mangled sitting position, but failed to do so. The damn bastards of Paci had just beat half to death and basically just left him to die. There was nothing he could do but just lay on the cold cement floor, hoping for someone to just finish the goddamn job.

Death was so much better than being a prisoner of war.

His violet eyes sparkled with mirth as a strand of fiery red hair fell to his face. He didn't dare to look up, might as well piss the guy off some more.

"Why should I? You're just going to jerk off some more on beating me half to death."

He watched with an inward grin as the soldier started to lift his leg. 

"Those were not my orders," a deep Irish voice boomed from the front door. His eyes widened.

That voice, he thought. He knew that voice.

"But sir!"

"I said stand down."

The door opened wider and he caught a glimpse of the man. Long ebony hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, wisps of hair framing his face. Emerald green eyes pierced him still reminding him of a lion picking his prey. It had been so long...

"Micah..."

**

Relena jumped up with a gasp, eyes searching wildly around. Her hand was griping her armrest so tightly, that her hand was almost completely white.

__

Thud...

"Relena?"

__

Thud...

Her hand reached for her silver cross.

__

Thud…

"Micah..."

**

*ducks flying objects from readers*

I know, I know, but I had to cut it short for the reason being part six is divided into three parts. And still have the need to drive everyone crazy in the story since school started.

*points upwards*

Let me tell you something, this is about to get really interesting because in case you didn't notice or haven't realized yet I just revealed something very, very important to the story.

*grins*

Anyways, it's time for business. First off, if you haven't read any of Lemon Goddess' reviews do it. I'm going to declare a review war on her because to my knowledge, she keeps review my story, which she has never under any circumstances read, Wanders. So as a formal declaration, I, Eve, declare review war on her.

Second piece of business, I don't know if posting will be as quick as usual with school. I continue trying, but it might be just weekends.

Now the *real* fun.

Dedication: Once again this goes out to angelic1090 for being such a sweetie-pie. I'm going to adopt her as my oneesan if she doesn't stop being so sweet. . Also goes out to griffin72 whose review was another darling. THANK YOU!

Disclaimer: *sticks tongue out at lawyers* Stop harassing me, I'll do it. GW doesn't belong to me. Happy?


	9. Resurrection of a Fallen Goddess b.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

__

"Nobody told me where to go

Nobody told me when to run..."

-Puddle of Mud

**

Part Six B: Resurrection of a Fallen Goddess

**

Fear.

A feeling of anxiety and agitation caused by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, and/or pain.

Fear.

Respectful dread, awe, and/or reverence.

Fear.

They had all arrived together and were put into a small jeep in order to avoid any attracted and unwanted attention. The silence had been completely uncomfortable. Maxwell had done nothing but stare out the window, eyes blank and empty. Yuy had his eyes shut and revealed no emotion, but Wufei knew he was like himself. Concern for their respective partners tugging at the heart as well as massive confusion filled their minds.

The girls on the other hand were totally different that what he had expected them to be. Hilde was the only one showing any form of movement; hands trembling uncontrollably and her eyes were wandering wildly around the car. He could sense that she seemed to be fighting a great battle within herself. Merian was quiet; her eyes kept wandering to Relena and silently communicating with the other woman. The presence of the two seemed to calm him for some strange reason; it was like a deep reassurance to him.

But still the same, he and the other pilots never have had this kind of experience in a situation of whatever was going on.

And first time too, he felt very afraid.

Fear.

It was consuming his soul.

**

She didn't waste anytime getting out of the taxicab as soon as it stopped in front of the restaurant. She didn't even bother waiting for Trowa as she walked to the door. All that mattered was the manila envelope in her arms and finding what the hell was going on.

"At least you're early."

She rolled her eyes and slid in across from Dorothy and very disturbed looking Quatre. Trowa, who obviously had been keeping the pace, slid in next to her.

"And you have a sense of humor about this because..." She snapped, causing Dorothy's eyes to darken and Quatre to shiver.

Interesting, she thought with a smirk. Reacting connection and not to mention he's got experiences in the psychic field.

"I'm not looking to play, mon cher. But if you're so insistent about this..."

Catherine rolled her eyes and pushed the manila envelope across the table, ignoring Trowa's burning gaze on her.

"I won't beat around the bush if you don't," she replied in a singsong voice.

Dorothy gave her the finger and tore open the envelope, peering inside. A smirk crossed her features and she gave a nodded to Catherine.

"This is absolutely marvelous, Kit. Absolutely marvelous."

She shrugged. "I do my job. What can I say? Now, can we get to the important stuff?"

Dorothy nodded and motioned for the two respective gundam pilots to go find something to do.

"We have just as much right as you do to here this," Trowa mummered, not moving.

Dorothy merely chuckled in response and before Catherine knew, the other woman had a death grip around Trowa's shirt and slammed him onto the table. She caught herself watching in fascination as blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. She shook her head, now was not the time to venture into that side of her subconscious. Quatre started to reach to help the other man, but Catherine stopped him. They would all need to learn eventually.

"You have no rights, Barton. None of you do and even if you did before, it was all taken away by stupidity. So without further interruptions, go get yourself a nice drink so that Kit and I can talk."

There's Kit again, she mused with eyes shut. Everyone's getting back into the habit of our nicknames.

Trowa stood wiping off the blood with a napkin, eyes confused and angry. But, she thought. He'd be a very big fool to argue. She shook her head at him and gently pushed him towards the bar.

With Trowa and Quatre both gone, Catherine turned to Dorothy to continue their conversation.

"Where's Jasper?"

Dorothy smirked. "Left as soon as Relena arrived. He's still afraid of her even if she isn't turned. I also get the feeling that he knows something about this whole mess. I wouldn't be surprised."

She nodded, violet eyes filled with exhaustion. She started to play with her napkin. It was ironic that Dorothy hadn't even thought of looking her grandmother, the Duchess up. But she decided against asking they had more important things to discuss.

"Hil's close."

Dorothy shrugged, sipping her drink. "It figures," she muttered. "This is the perfect opportunity for another one of us to turn. Not only that, it's one less person they have to through into the fucking chamber. No offense."

"None taken," she responded quietly. "I just have a really bad feeling about London and about the mysterious council guy."

"Could you repeat that one, mon cher?"

Catherine looked at her with surprise. "I would have thought at least one of you had heard."

"No, I haven't have the faintest idea of what you're talking about."

"I heard from the squad in South Africa and their nature to small talk. It's basically why Doc seems so nervous lately. And I have this feeling that it has something to do with all of us."

Dorothy was silent for a moment and then began slowly. "I think in some respects you have a valid point, but if Doc's nervous than it has everything and anything to do with Re."

Silence.

**

It was like a bee colony, Heero mused taking in the scene laid before him. Paci members were running around, some shouting orders and others grabbing the necessary items for battle. It was very surreal, being a solitary soldier he never really experienced the hustle and rush to prepare battle. It was also completely unnerving because here were the "legendary" gundam pilots standing in the middle of everything and no one gave as much of a damn to stare, but pushed them as if they were in the way.

He wasn't used to this.

"Look," he heard Wufei breath. His eyes wandered into the direction his fellow pilot pointed.

The crowd of people that had been standing near the jeep was dead silent. In fact, the very same crowd of people that had been working busily to get their respective task done. That very crowd that had rudely pushed against them while he and Wufei along with a deathly silent Duo tried to make their way through had parted like the Red Sea.

He never realized how many people really feared the Jitsatsu Pilots.

Merian was approaching the tent first, hands in the pocket of her faded blue jeans. She wore black combat boots, mud stained from the obvious rain. Her long ebony hair hung in a loose braid down her back while her eyes seemed to be lost in mild concentration. She walked through the path of people, seemingly oblivious to the reactions from the people around her. She then disappeared into a nearby tent.

Following Merian's path emerged Hilde, complexion pale and almost unnerving as if she were a wandering spirit lost somewhere between heaven and hell. She wore a white blood stained tank top, one strap falling off her shoulder and exposing a fresh wound. She also wore baggy, low cut black jeans with a similar style of boots as Merian. Her long ebony hair hung loosely, falling against her shoulders with wisps of hair matting to her face with the rain. Her eyes, the most frightening part about the small woman, were blank.

Relena was the last to appear, watching Hilde with one of the most intense gazes he had ever seen. Her honey colored hair was pulled back into a messy bun, stray tendrils brushing gently against her face and avoiding the harshness of the rain. Her brilliant blue eyes were aware of the people around her and he could that she accepted their fear as well, but her concern lied ahead. She wore a tank top as well, black bringing out the depth of her eyes. Low cut khakis stained with mud and water clung to her waist and a pair of old sneakers her feet. She looked; he thought allowing himself a brief smile, like she was about to paint a house.

Battle gear.

**

"It says," Merian began quietly, reading from the sheet of orders given to her by some corporal. The other girls were loading weapons quickly, wasting no time for what lied ahead.

"We're all going in stations. I'm from the north, Re's from the west, and Hil, you're taking the southeast entrance. As soon as I reach the destination, I'm supposed to initiate contact through the system. I'm your ears and eyes, ladies. Re, from the west you're going to act as back up as well as looking for info that was in some ways left behind, the usual."

Hilde stood up, twirling her .35 magnum around her finger.

"Let me guess," she stated quietly. "I get to clean up any messes."

Merian nodded, quieting. Hilde walked to the tent entrance and paused, turning to the two girls.

"Let's get it on."

**

[_Here she comes._]

"I see that," she mummered loading her weapon carefully. She had already given orders for her men to take everyone out who approaches. This would be over as soon as it starts.

[_So you're taking my advice, huh? It's about damn time. I see you're finally growing a backbone._]

"Fuck off."

[_See, there you go again. Attitude, attitude, when are you ever going to learn?_]

Her eyes closed and she forced herself to stop shaking. Why was she so afraid? It wasn't like the three that were had turned yet.

"So you're Lana, huh?"

She jumped, whirling around to meet the most undermining pair of blue eyes she had ever seen.

[_Game time._]

**

He found her in the back, green eyes watching the computer screen intently. His gaze softened. He owned her an apology.

"Are you alright?"

Merian looked up, regarding him carefully. She shrugged, eyes returning to the screen before her. 

"I've been through a hell of a lot worse."

He nodded, wanting nothing more to approach the topic at hand of her... Well, you know.

She chuckled softly. "I tell you what. If this ends anytime soon and I come out alive, I'll tell you everything from the beginning to the end."

He watched her, a slight smile curving onto his face. Wufei then pulled up a chair and sat down beside her.

"You know," he began. "I honestly think that this is the first time we've talked like human beings."

She placed a microphone around her head and pushed the laptop towards him. "Well, savor it," she mummered. 

"Because it won't be lasting too long."

**

She was a coward, she realized watching the other girl stare at her in a mix of absolute fear and resentment. Anger began to pulse through her veins. This bitch was the one that was causing all her anger and her nerves going all over the place.

"So you're the great Goddess of Death, eh?"

The tone of the other woman was icy and she found herself giving the brunette a chilling smirk. She felt the spirit that had been fighting the return of her darker half, disintegrate.

"What's it to you? You are the one, who took over the damn base," she answered nonchalantly.

"Bitch."

"I must say your English is astounding. Bravo."

Lana stepped forward, eyes blazing with what she took to be something she had only seen in the camps. She had lost all connections with sanity. For a brief moment, her thoughts trailed to Duo. She shook her head. She had a mission to complete.

"Alright, sweet pea there's no need for that animosity. I have a job to do so if you could come with me. It'll be over faster than you know it."

The response was an eerie chuckle. Hilde rolled her eyes. "Mira [1], I know there's men in this room. Two to be exact, ready and waiting for your every command. I'm not that stupid."

"Really?"

"What the hell do you take me for?"

Lana chuckled once more obviously convinced that she had the upper hand. Hilde rolled her eyes. All these people who Larson sent had that complex.

"I think you're angry," she responded. "You're angry because I had Duo wrapped around my finger and all you were was a ghost in the closet and nothing more. I know who you are Agent Schibecker and I know you're pissed beyond reason that I fucked him senseless night after night."

There was no response from Hilde, but Lana shrunk back as she began to see something in the other woman's eyes that she only heard stories about. Emotion after emotion flashed in her eyes, transforming into a fierceness that she couldn't even describe.

"Please," she whimpered. "Please, oh god…"

She slowly raised her gun up and pointed the barrel directly between her eyes on the bridge of her nose.

__

Click!

"Please..."

"The irony of this whole situation is that in some perverse way you'll come out a goddamn martyr while the rest of us will have to suffer."

__

Bam!

Lana screamed as one of her men fell to the marble floor with a resounding crack.

"I am who I am."

__

Bam!

She was shaking now, trembling violently against the wall she had subconsciously backed into. Another plummeted down to his death.

__

Bam!

"I have nothing to fear including fear itself."

__

Bam!

Two more fell from their hiding spaces in the upper rooms. A smirk crossed the smaller woman's features.

"I am Death, fearless and ever-present."

**

"... And in late-breaking news, the ball of the Duke of Burgundy has been taken hostage under Society rebel bands that names will be undisclosed. Minister Peacecraft and his wife as well as the Countess d'Bourbon among those in the company..."

He shut off the television, eyes snapped shut in mild frustration.

"Ah, bloody hell."

Alexi looked up at his rescuer with a smirk, causing Micah to throw a fist into the wall.

"The plans will have to be accommodated. I have a feeling that everything will be revealed faster than needed." 

**

Her eyes never left her friend as she walked out of the severely damaged building. Bright blue eyes filled with an undeniable intensity and somewhat loss of all grasp of the fantasy that they had been forced to live were there. Blood dripped down the side of her forehead, Hilde never even bothered to wipe it off. A small smirk was present on her face.

She was back and there was no more fighting for her.

She was back for good.

Files were not lost and even if people had tried to escape with them, they were intercepted and shot on sight. People were being led in rows two by four, iron cuff digging into the skin of their wrists. But they had tried to do their jobs, only to end up in failure. Yet, she thought as she approached Hilde. They on they other hand had completed theirs with quickness and a deadly accuracy.

She glanced over to see Lana Emanuel being taken away probably to the customs division and then from there she'd be questioned and killed.

Tragedy struck in the strangest of ways and she'd have to be the one who'd deal with Maxwell. She sighed.

Great.

**

//_"I don't know. I can't answer that question with an honest reply. Do I trust you? Do I trust the people that have kept me in the same exact prison like the Society, the only difference being we got to pee in nicer bathrooms."_

"We are your family, child."

Hilde giggled, hoping down from her chair. Her blue eyes sparkling at the attendant. It was almost as if the young child knew some great big secret.

"You wish."

"Excuse me?"

"We're the best things that happened to you and you wish that you could owe us like property. But with all the bad things we've been through and the amount of things you might take away, you will never owe us. Ever."//

**

[1] Mira: Watch…

**

Author's Notes: I apologize for the delay, but yesterday was just a mess... Um, in the future most likely after the next 2 or 3 chapters I will sort of write a dedication chapter for the victims of the act committed yesterday. Tell your parents that you love them today, is my one piece of advice.

Anyhow, on a lighter note Lemon Goddess has continued to flame me with completely irrelevant messages. So I have this to say to my dear friend.

There's a summary, a rating, and a genre. You don't like them, don't read it. Don't waste my time. And finally, the story is totally inappropriate for a lemon. You would know that if you had read the story.

*sticks tongue out*

I'm only sating the obvious here. 

Also thanks for all the great reviews, I love all of them so much keep it up!

Dedications: As always to my newly adopted oneesan angelic 1090 for the wonderful reviews. My family says the same thing about my anime obsession. Also to Sieryu for one of the best reviews I'd seen in awhile, you made me smile.

Disclaimer: *blinks* What am I supposed to say again? 


	10. There is No Rest for the Wicked c.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

"The soul of the wicked man desires evil; his neighbor finds no pity."

-Proverbs 21:10

**

Part Six C: There is No Rest for the Wicked

**

She found herself amused by the fact that when she exited the building behind several agents who were leading Emanuel away, every single agent outside parted in absolute fear. It was great to be back, she thought with a smirk. She walked slowly to the tent enjoying the release of the fight.

But she stopped in her tracks.

Before her stood Relena eyes dark and expression unreadable, sending shivers down her spine. One could never guess that her fellow comrade hadn't turn. It was her famous expression, dark and unfathomable, one that could make even the strongest warrior crumble into nothing. And right now she was beginning to feel really uncomfortable.

"I've been called to Moscow," she stated quietly.

Her eyes widened, the other girl's comment catching her off-guard. "So soon?"

She nodded, honey tresses falling against her face after escaping from its hold from the tight bun. Relena's midnight blue eyes never left her own, continuing to make the now turned Jitsatsu pilot nervous as hell.

"Aye," she responded tiredly, returning almost bizarrely to the language she once used so long ago. It was almost like even though she, and well it was the same for the other two, hadn't turned was returning to the all too familiar personality.

The masks were falling.

**

"It's over," Catherine stated softly. "Everything is back to normal and they're going to destroy the remains. They're just going to use the basement of the old Globe Theater now."

Dorothy nodded, not really paying attention. Something didn't feel right and she couldn't place her finger on it. A cycle, she mused. She felt like there was a cycle about to take place. She jumped up as her cell phone rang loudly.

"Catalonia."

There was no response but a heavy breathing. She raised a slender eyebrow. "Salut?"

"They have the Countess and the Minister prisoner in Perking as well as some other notable politicians. The conference was based on what we should do on maintaining the peace that we once had and shutting the underground. You and Agent Schibecker as well as all the Gundam pilots will be leaving in 020 hours. Schibecker has already been alerted. Also let Agent Bloom that she is to report to London. Out."

She turned the phone off, staring at it in bewilderment. She looked up at Catherine whose violet eyes bore into her own. She felt it too, she thought with a sigh. There was something much deeper going on, something that had pulled them into this in the first place.

This was not a civil war on Earth nor was it a war that the colonies would soon be entering.

"Oh my god," she whispered.

"We're battling the underground. Something's gone totally wrong."

**

The history of the underground is long and complicated, full of twists and turns, lies and truth. The main reason for the creation of the underground was to protect the people both on the Earth and the colonies from battles and even wars that the people could not handle.

Started first after the death of the Peacecraft Dynasty, it was built to handle the even deeper situations and secrets of wars such as the Blood War and the Eve Wars. People were never to know under any circumstance the degree of darkness that was involved.

Soldiers lay down their lives for a blessed purpose.

Warriors lay down their lives for blood.

**

"What's going to happen to her?"

She said absolutely nothing, knowing she was at a greater risk of upsetting him more than she was not saying anything. She watched as Lana paced back and forth, muttering to herself. The psychological effects of her mission had obviously gotten to her. With the exception of Society finding some way to withhold and control her apparent schizophrenia

"Please, Relena… What's going to happen to her?"

She had to be the one to explain to him, she thought with a tired sigh. A confrontation with Hilde would be too risky and Merian would be risking an overreaction from the pilot of 02.

"She'll be questioned," she began softly, eyes still glued to the girl behind the glass. She was nearing the shutting down phase. The drug that they had administrated to her would be taking effect soon. That way it would be easier to do the execution.

Quick.

Painless.

And with no screaming.

Duo breathed a sigh of relief, obviously the notion of the fact that she would be executed empty from his mind.

"There's more."

He whirled around, eyes large in fear. She smiled sadly, confirming the millions of questions in his eyes. She watched silently as the great Shinigami crumpled against the wall. Even the greatest of fighters had their moments.

"She'll be executed at dawn."

**

"A time of change," he began with sheer confidence radiating from him. They were all her for him. They were all fighting for him.

"Change is what the Earth needs. Change is what the colonies needs. But in order to administrate change we must push progress forth. That is why we must drive into battle. Brussels is the heart, according to out sources. We must be swift and we must come hard."

Choruses of cheers met him; he had to almost fight back the beaming grin blooming onto his face.

"We will win this battle."

**

"You going to tell her?"

It was a simple and honest question. A question that had been tormenting his mind ever since... A large calloused hand reached up and touched a slender gash across his cheek. She had thought she'd killed him, but in reality she had saved his life once again.

Would he tell her?

"I don't know," he stated quietly for the first time. People had always seen him in a very cold demeanor, but when it had to do with Relena...

"I don't want to hurt her. And I know she's in love with that Gundam pilot, but..."

Alexi stood, green eyes filled with understanding. "You want to tell her that you're there. I understand perfectly what you're going through."

He nodded, but then caught himself. A dangerous glint appeared in his eyes and he spoke in a deadly tone.

"How do you know how I feel? The only reason that you became a double agent was to attract attention. So how the hell do you know?"

Alexi, although smaller in size, stood up against the towering man. "I did it in hopes..."

"You're completely idealistic. That will be your downfall as agent. You risked your sister's exposure as well as Dorothy's. They can't afford that not now, not ever. Your ideals will get you killed."

"Speak for yourself," Alexi shot back. "You walk around ordering people because you're not getting anything for O'Connor. At least I'm trying."

"There's a fucking war going on out there and all you can think about is getting laid?"

Alexi huffed. "You're still as uptight as remembered you to be, man."

Micah ignored him and turned to the window, watching the sun start to lower onto the horizon.

_ _

_Relena_...

**

He found her outside, looking at the remains of what had to be a small garden. She sat on a broken bench, eyes trained upwards towards the setting sun.

"Relena?"

She jumped, whirling around and meeting his gaze. She seemed be breathing heavily.

"Daijibou Ka?"

She nodded. "I'm alright, just a little wired."

He came over and sat down next to her. "I heard that Wufei, Duo, and I are supposed to leave after one for Perking."

She nodded, bringing her knees up to her chest. She bit her lip, which usually signaled she had a lot on her mind. It was something he noticed back when she was still the Vice Foreign Minister and he her bodyguard.

"You're going with Hilde as well as Dorothy, Quatre, and Trowa."

He looked at her curiously. "But what about you and...?"

She shook her head. "We've been ordered to something else. The council has something else in store for us."

There was silence between them, neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, but just silence. He was beginning to understand now…

Heero reached out and grabbed her slender hand, causing her gap in surprise. Her eyes looked so lost compared to the time he had seen her with Duo. 

Masks were falling fast.

"If you come back and..."

She shook her head. "I will come back and not be the same person to you. But I will be the same person to so many others. The past, the present… Everything will come together now."

Her eyes closed tightly and she looked like she was about to cry. "When I come back, Heero, I will not be the same."

His grip tightened on her hand and he began to inch closer. "I won't accept that Relena. I understand-"

"But do you?" Her voice was filled with so much raw emotion now, this being the first time she revealed any of herself.

"I-"

She shook her head. "Please, just tell me the truth. It's been sugarcoated answers all my life, Heero. Don't start too. I'm sick of all the lies."

He looked into her deep blue eyes and then ever so gently brushed a strand of her honey-blonde hair out of her face.

"Then..."

She shook her head. "Heero, please. I can't do this. I'm not ready."

Prussian blue eyes met the night as both, despite the underlying tension and protesting between them. He because this 

immediate connection would change everything between them and she because the past would now haunt him too.

"If this happens," she breathed, warmth spreading onto his neck. "If this happens, then there's no turning back…"

His thumb gently grazed her chin. "I don't want to turn back…"

Her eyes were sad now. "And you'll never will be able to…"

Heero leaned forward to capture her lips in a passionate embrace, Relena responding with as much fervor as he was. They moved in a way she had never experienced before. It was like they were connected somehow, like this was supposed to happen.

They broke apart, both breathing heavily. He watched with interest, now seeing her in a completely different light. 

Her honey tresses framed her face, the setting sun giving her a very surreal look. Her lips were bruised and her cheeks rosy. He started to say something, but was cut off by a cough.

"Yuy," Hilde's voice boomed over them. He looked to Relena who nodded and stood up, gazing longingly at the small woman. He turned and followed Hilde.

Relena watched go, eyes never leaving his back. They were connected, she thought sadly. It should be a happy event when in reality she didn't know how to feel.

He would have to tell Sylvia.

_ _

_Micah_…

**

// _"We're going to have to separate them."_

_ _

_ _

_Emma looked up, watching her superior with a forlorn expression. They didn't realize that this would only help the child in advancing._

_ _

_ _

_"How soon?"_

_ _

_ _

_"Test mission," was the empty response. "He and she shall go to Moscow and retrieve the tapes. If he comes out alive, then we will find some use for him, but our main concern is the girl and her performance level. His family is no longer in power so we have the jurisdiction to carry this out."_

_ _

_ _

_She sighed, burying her head in her hands. Out of all the girls, Relena was the one she worried the most about. The child was stronger than she and the others gave her credit for and this would not be the first test._

_ _

_ _

_"I will tell them now."_

_ _

_ _

_"Good, good. This will be over as soon as it started."_

_ _

_ _

_She sighed sadly. At least they hadn't connected…_//

**

Author's Notes: Put it this way, I wasn't even going to have anyone kiss until closer to the end. *giggles* Wow, talk about a new direction. So yeah, this ends the tainted love trilogy of chapters. Expect possibly an interlude or the next chapter soon. Have some kinks to work out, but never fear it will be out. In other news, here's my response to Trunks' Bitch review:

*blank stare*

I mean how do you initially respond to a review like that? Ah, well *shakes head*… Next time, look for Duo to go in God of Death mode and the other Gundam pilots start to feel the psychological toll of this battle. And Sylvia Noventa will make a guest appearance sometime.

*points to a chained closet behind her*

Look for the return of my muse, Shin-chan. That is until he figures out how to get of the closest.

Dedication: To oneechan for the continual support and love. I'm trying to find the time to read your Escaflowne fics. *sweatdrop*

Disclaimer: Like I responded to Trunks' err Bitch's review. *blank stare*


	11. Interlude: Letters and Forgettable Memor...

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

"I'm afraid of what you might be thinking. That I'm a certain kind of person, and that you are the kind of person that knows more about my story than me."

Pam Houston, "Symphony"

_ _

_ _

**

Interlude: Letters and Forgettable Moments

**

I've decided I'm going to tell you my whole story Heero. Everything from beginning to end because when I return I'm going to be someone else, someone I only know.

You're probably asking yourself why, although I have to give you a little more credit than that because we did... I guess I should start now, in the beginning, focusing on my perspective.

Enclosed is a package of letters containing the story of a relationship that defines who I am. It broke me, but gave me strength. Yet, it opened my eyes on the possibilities of understanding emotions and the bonds they create.

These words of mine will be given to you at final mission. I know I couldn't bear knowing the look on your face if I hadn't left something.

We are bonded you and I.

**

She was the last girl to arrive. A quiet one, large blue eyes with long golden tresses falling down her 

shoulders. A tiny child, you could barely see her sitting on the bench from a standing position.

She couldn't put her finger on it, but the child… There was something about the child. Dr. Peterson glanced down at the file in her hand.

Six concentration camps, multiple scars, and a child who refused or chose not to speak to anyone for that matter, not to say that she blamed her.

But what struck her the most was the fact that in their hands they held the child that was known to be the lost Peacecraft, the child that carried the souls of her mother and grandmother before her.

It was a tale of sadness, a legend.

But staring at the small child, she couldn't help but wonder.

Was it true?

**

"Push me up!"

"We are so going to get in trouble for this Hilde. We'll have lessons with the lady with bad breath. And besides, you're too heavy!"

Merian was met by a foot in the face and was about to just push the other girl off her shoulders when Hilde shushed. 

"I see her..."

She craned her neck upwards. "And what does she look like?"

Hilde shifted from foot to foot, much to the discomfort of the other girl. "I can't… I can't see her! Ouch! Watch it!"

She bit back a grin. Serves the brat right… "So," she began. "What does she look like?"

"She's a tiny girl," a new voice interjected. "Apparently really quiet. They've had a hard time getting the kid to talk. She's been through six concentration camps so I can't imagine why."

Both girls whirled around like they had been caught with their hands in a candy jar. A tall fiery redhead stood staring back at them, violet eyes twinkling with amusement. Cat was the eldest of the group, just turning nine a month and a half after she came to Lyon. 

"We were just really curious…"

Cat let a ghost of a smile appear onto her face and shook her head. She too was just as curious about the smaller girl like the rest of them. She knew that they still had one more girl traveling from Athens and wouldn't be here until mid-May, but she wasn't as curious as she was about her than this girl.

She had heard the rumors from the adults…

Cat shook her head, grabbing the other two girls. "Let's go before you guys get into a load of trouble. I don't think I personally can deal with lesson from Baba again."

**

I am different under the circumstances of having better understand of life, of emotions. I could be considered an empath, but others swear I'm psychic. For me, I just, I guess have a greater and immense knowledge of everything.

I'm not sorry for it either.

They were afraid of me when I first came. I was afraid of them when I barely just arrived. Six camps, Heero, I had been through six of the most terrifying camps even according the historians. 

I didn't talk for reason only known to me and unfortunately they didn't accept that, otherwise I would have been the last child, not Cat, to turn.

I am not the violent one. I'm more of going in and getting the job done, regardless of the consequences. I have a spirit much like yours, which probably explains the bonding, but I refuse to accept defeat for it is failure.

Failure, for me, for the girls…

It's never been an option.

Our lives are banded by contract, as you know. They only purpose keeping any of us from breaking the contract is the one thing all of us keep near and dear to our hearts.

Family.

Family that unfortunately has been unjustly taken away from us. If they happen to be alive and well, then they have no knowledge of our own safety. If they don't, then sadly none of us will ever know.

We are prisoners of destiny.

We are not allowed to love, but only to hate.

**

"Timing was everything, I guess."

She said nothing, back turned. She couldn't face him. She couldn't let him see the tears building up in her eyes. Crying was a sign of weakness. Any emotion was a weakness, she thought bitterly. Thirteen years old and she still followed commands like a lost puppy, they all did.

Choices were everything.

To live, to die, or it would be death for the ones they loved. She couldn't risk that. She could never do that to herself, the feeling being unexplainable.

"I have my orders, Micah," she responded quietly, hoping he'd take the hint and leave. The emotions and her detox-like experience in the chambers were doing a number on her and she was just ready to break down.

"You going to give me a strait answer, love? Or you going to make this harder for the fucking both of us and say nothing at all? Oh, I forgot. You're the almighty Silence, who doesn't answer to anyone. You didn't even stop them when we were separated. You-"

"Micah…"

She was trying to contain herself, but she was getting closer and closer to breaking. The Darlians were expecting her in "sane" condition and she intended to keep her mind strait for the time being.

Empty promises of seeing family were consuming her heart. She wanted to give up on the notion, but there was something inside the remains of her heart saying not to.

"Answer me this, Mags. Do you love me?"

Her eyes widened, he had caught her off guard. The one question that had been plaguing her constantly, night after night. It was almost surreal. She had been expecting something to this degree, but the fact that he had said it now with such urgency was just…

"Well?"

"Micah, I can't answer the question. Please, don't make me go through this now. You know I have-"

"Bloody hell you do. You're going to answer me right now. I deserve an answer. I love you damn it!"

Blue eyes pierced him back, the anger and pain within beginning to rise. She was about ready to break down.

"Micah…"

"I gave you so-"

"Micah, I have no-"

"You are my life-"

She slammed her fist against the table, her eyes burning with an intensity he had thought was lost to the ashes. She bit down on her lip with such force; blood came dripping down her face, slow drop after slow drop. She began to speak quietly, a deadliness in the tone of her voice causing him to back away slowly. When she got angry, it was a good idea to stay clear from her.

"I told you. I told that I have my orders that I cannot disobey. I have people to protect; you know that as well as I do. Yet now I'm beginning to wonder how much you've *really* taken in from what I've told you."

He watched her, eyes contorted in fear and emotion she only recognized from when they were together during the happy times.

"Mags, I love you. That's what I have to offer to you."

She stood up, heading towards the iron door. She understood now, their lack of connection and all. He had this ideal relationship when it came to the two of them where as everything had been initially part of a goddamn fantasy. He loved the idea of being in love with her. He was in love with concept of being the one person that was needed to be needed. And things didn't go as exactly planned, hell broke loose.

This was the best damn thing the council had done for her yet.

Let her go.

"No," she stated quietly. "You don't love me the way I need you to love me, Micah. Don't do this to yourself, you will get hurt in the process."

"So you're going to walk away?"

She nodded slowly, the door already open and beckoning.

"Aye, I'm going to walk away."

**

I can't describe the events of what happen next between us. The words simply refuse to come out of my mouth due to the lasting effect of the event. I still have several images burning inside my mind as I write this to you.

The relationship between Micah and I can be describe as the seasons. There's the same constant change, over and over again to the point where there's only a projection and no core.

Maybe someday, if I come back and get through this alive I'll tell you the whole story from beginning to end. But I will say this.

Micah was driven by the need for instant revenge. The council had removed his family from leadership and ever since that moment he had committed himself to revenge.

Our relationship went from developing a basis for a weak connection and understanding to downhill. It wasn't like Hilde and Adam where he died for her. Nor was it like puppy love for Dorothy and Alexi. Or for both Merian and LIng and Cat with Patrick was it quiet.

It was filled with violence and passion.

The scariest part was that I was thirteen when the relationship ended, he being sixteen. I was the equivalent of a thirty-year old in a thirteen year-old's body.

Experience is what taught me life's lessons. Violence is what taught me to survive darkness. But love, Heero, love is what connects me the most to you.

I have all but one request for you. If by chance I am not present in living form when you read this, please, please find my family.

Tell them I love them unconditionally, through life and death.

Tell Millardo that I have always forgiven him and that I love him despite what he thinks. 

Tell Micah because I have this foreboding feeling that he's alive, let past be past and move on.

But to you dear Heero, I leave the first of many letters of my life and who I am, so that maybe someday you will find me.

I love you.

And now I will embrace the darkness within me.

I am the Silence.

**

Author's Notes: All right, that was the more serious of interludes in this book. I was hoping in this interlude to slightly convey the type of person Relena will be when turned. I've also mentioned that she's capable of something greater than what anyone truly understood which will also be coming into play later. Now, I know I said that Hilde's turning period was going to be a little more graphic and violent than before but I did not play it for several reasons. You will see this in the next chapter, which will have major content warning. I'm very happy with the story and finally narrowed down the fact that this book will been down with in eleven parts (nineteen if you count by the fanfiction.net system). Then Book Three, which is a dozy by the way, will start. Title will be released nearing the end of ICD. Also from now on look for romance to play a random and twisted, but significant part in the story.

Another issue that is needed to be dealt with is regarding lemon goddess. I am tired of seeing your reviews and reading your inane comments. I'm trying to write a story here, which by the way if you did read it what don't you like? Please do not waste my time or else *tired evil grin* I'll let everyone badger you.

See you in Chapter 7, "Behind the Iron Wall in Moscow".

Dedication: Oneechan, you are the best and the sweetest in the whole entire world. Love ya!

Disclaimer: Too tired… Way too tired…


	12. Kindred Souls a.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

WARNING: There's an immense content of violent imagery. It's only a fanfiction, but I know there are Lemon Goddesses in the world. So if you can't stomach it, e-mail me and I'll tell you what happens. But a word to the wise, most of the parts from now on will start to be like this.

"The gods neither know nor understand, wandering about in the darkness, and all the world's foundations shake…"

_Psalm 82:5_

_ _

_ _

_ _

_ _

**

Chapter 7a: Kindred Souls

**

Moscow, Russia

11:59 pm

Day of Restoration

**I**t was still the same miserable prison that she remembered. Just standing outside, ankle-deep in snow and staring at the barely standing building caused her to shift uncomfortably. But this was home, dreary and miserable as it was. She shivered as a cold breeze danced against her, blowing her hair into her face.

"Back to ground zero, right?"

Catherine turned to see Merian come up beside her, arms crossed in front of her chest and eyes glued on to the building. It was ironic, to say the less. Both Hilde and Dorothy had been the last to turn because of their "strength" in will.But the two girls had also been the easiest as well as the quickest, their mentality suffering from constant treatment as well as detoxing. It was simply ridiculous if she thought about it.

"Where's Rel?"

"Taking an express call. Turns out that there's a huge hostage situation with her brother being one of the captives. Dee's grandmothers a captive as well and she's just making sure that everyone's sanity is kept in check."

"At least for the next several days," a voice interrupted. Both turned to see Relena walking slowly on the snow-covered path, eyes wandering off to the sides.

"Do you sense something?"

Relena shook her head, eyes fluttering shut. "Nothing but memories and old ghosts. The Underground doesn't reveal themselves until later…"

Catherine nodded. "It's going to be a battle of wills and inner being now. But do we rise that level? Can we rise to that level?"

"It can never be a question of can because we need to, regardless. Even with the state that they're in, Hil and Dee both know that they're going to turn it up. It's a test for all of us and we need to pass with flying colors. Otherwise it will be the council versus the Underground, will their minion the Society as the champion."

No words went further and Catherine reached down to her gloved hand tracing slowly with her fingers one spot in particular.

Crimson tears would be shed.

**

He didn't know what to make of this whole situation. This wasn't a war; this was something indescribable, something that they were never meant to be apart of. He thought back to the time that they had been in Hungary. It was initial shock seeing Merian and the rest of his comrades seeing their counterparts. It had been unnerving, yet it finally dawn on him that they had need to look at the situation at hand.

Schibecker had been right.

They never belonged here.

But they were now apart of something they had never faced before. They were beginners and for the first time in his life, he was scared as hell.

Hell was freezing over if he admitted to being afraid.

**

They had decided to enter through the first room, windowless and cold. Each of the three had spent countless of hours, even days sitting in this room locked with bitter memories and unexplainable emotions.

Catherine was standing at the far end of the corner, violet eyes piercing one stop in particular. 

//_"Subject shows no initial response to test treatment. On a personal perspective, subject looks empty. There is no movement what so ever, as the head of the experimental team I feel that I should administrate more of the laxidant."_

_ _

_ _

_Dr. Andrews sighted, placing the tape recorder down and his head in his hands. He had spent at least six nights straight observing the future pilot of the Phoenix. He thought it was ironic, the young girl having hair the color of fire itself._

_ _

_ _

_Looking up, he suddenly felt like he was being watched. "Hello?" His voice called, echoing down the hallway. "Hello? Anyone ther-"_

_ _

_ _

_He stumbled back in shock. The child that he had been observing stood before him, eyes dark and face covered in bruises from the harsh treatment if she refused the medication. She gripped a long six-inch dagger in her hand, blood trickling down her arm._

_ _

_ _

_Drip…_

_ _

_ _

_Drip…_

_ _

Breathe, he ordered himself. Breathe and talk to the child. It would be not as hard since he couldn't read the expression her face.

_ _

_ _

_"Mon cher, what are you doing?"_

_ _

_ _

_The child did not answer, taking a step towards the trembling man and her grip tightening on the dagger. He began to tremble._

_ _

_ _

_Breathe…_

_ _

_ _

_The child came and sat upon his knees, violet eyes searching his own for something, something he'd hope she'd find soon._

_ _

_ _

_"I don't want to play anymore with you."_

_ _

_ _

_She brought the dagger down swiftly, imbedding it into his eye. He wanted to scream, but could not find the voice to scream or _

_even struggle. He could feel the blood trickle down his face mingling with her open wound in her hand_

_ _

_ _

_"I'm going to play with them."_//

She kneeled down and picked up a rusty object, bits of silver sparkling from what little light there was. Speaks of dry blood were still smeared onto the ends of the dagger, she held it in her hands watching it in fascination.

//_"Why do you do it?"_

_ _

_ _

_"I think you should be asking why did he do it?"_

_ _

_ _

_The old man chuckled, caressing a strand of hair out of her face. "You are becoming more and more like one of us. A kindred soul of the underground..."_

_ _

_ _

_"Am I really?"_

_ _

_ _

_"Do you think you are is the question?"_

_ _

_ _

_The child regarded him with an amused expression. He thought she'd…_

_ _

_ _

_"Nope."_

_ _

_ _

_"The question doesn't require a simple answer, child. Yet, I take it you know that."_

_ _

_ _

_Violet eyes sparkled with an unreadable gleam. She jumped off the chair she had been sitting on._

_ _

_ _

_"The Phoenix may light the Darkness, but it is the Darkness that lights the way."_//

Bringing the dagger down, she cut open and old scar that she had made.

One slash…

Two slash…

X marks the beginning of terror and the return of the first fallen.

Kindred spirits beware.

**

Trowa's eyes snapped open, awakening Dorothy from a restless seat. She had been pissed as ever to sit next to the stoic pilot. She had been on the receiving of his 'I don't trust you one bit' glares. And she was ready to do something more than slam him into a table.

"What's going to happen to Catherine?"

She looked at him, eyes dark. For a moment she could feel the second wind of energy course through her body. And then in a voice she wasn't even sure she remembered, she spoke tone filled with age-old wisdom.

"Hilde and I were the last to turn because the process had been altered by a newly assigned doctor who wanted nothing more than substantial power. We're not as dangerous as the other three because of what they went through to get to the specific point. So in a sense the three of them are kindred spirit, one more dangerous than the other. When we meet up again, you will see the change. They will be no longer soldiers, but warriors with blood-stained souls."

"But you and-"

"Think of us as the guardians of the underworld and the other three as the carriers of destiny. That was the initial idea of creating the Jitsatsu pilots. Carriers of destiny's plan… There's an even bigger story behind this war, sadly. One that only those of us who have experienced it ourselves can understand. I would explain it to, but that is for Kit to decide."

She's turned already.

**

Far off in the western corridor, Merian stood in the old chambers of the nurse they had when they were staying in the building. It was the nicest of the rooms, obviously. She remembered, the silver four-post bed covered with sky-blue sheets and a silver comforter. Paintings by the greats of 19th century A.D art such as Van Gough and Monet covered the walls. That is until she discovered her newfound obsession with fire.

// _"What do you think about it, Merian? You think they did a good job?"_

_ _

_ _

_The young girl was silent, looking around the room as if it were nothing special. She had never been exposed to any luxury of sorts and she knew that with the war going on no one including those under protection could afford luxury. The old hag must have slept with someone important to get this room._

_ _

_ _

_"Pretty," she responded in a monotone voice. She spotted a lighter on a wooden bureau across the room. Merian rolled her eyes as the head nurse clapped her hands in glee at her response._

_ _

_ _

_"Oh, I'm so glad you like it. Maybe will do lessons here and then over-"_

_ _

_ _

_She let the old woman drift into her own thoughts, quietly but quickly moving towards the lighter. Grabbing it quickly, she hid it behind her back as the older woman looked at her curiously. She racked her brain for an excused._

_ _

_ _

_"I thought I saw a bug."_

_ _

_ _

_She looked at Merian. "Okay. But why are your hands behind your back?"_

_ _

_ _

_Merian shrugged, thumbs rubbing against the lighter hoping to create a flame._

_ _

_ _

_"You said don't touch and put my hands behind my back."_

_ _

_ _

_"I did?"_

_ _

_ _

_She nodded earnestly in response, biting back a smirk, as she was successful in her attempts to create of flame._

_ _

_ _

_"Yes, you did."_

_ _

_ _

_"Oh," the nurse replied stepping towards her. "But why do I have the feeling that you have something behind your back."_

_ _

_ _

_"But I don't, so I don't see the initial problem."_

_ _

_ _

_"Give it to me."_

_ _

_ _

_She looked at the woman with an innocent gaze. "Don't have anything," she replied in a singsong voice. She could feel the flame grow warmer and larger._

_ _

_ _

_The older woman grabbed her arm. "What the-"_

_ _

_ _

_She brought the lighter to the older woman's face, watching in morbid fascination as her body lit up in bright flames. The screams coming out of the woman were weak, she realized with a frown. She had been excepting more from the old hag._

_ _

_ _

_Merian turned and left the room._

_ _

_ _

_Oh well._ //

Tracing her fingers of the ash covered floor, she brought her blackened fingers to her lips tasting the essence she had left behind so long ago.

A blackened bitter taste consumed her mouth and she bit down on her tongue, drawling blood and allowing it to mingle with the taste of ash.

The old nurse had screamed like a fucking banshee.

// _"You children will be the death of me."_

_ _

_ _

_She rolled her eyes not amused and unfazed. She was not impressed with this guy._

_ _

_ _

_"Then why haven't you killed us yet?"_

_ _

_ _

_"Such inquiring minds, you young ones."_

_ _

_ _

_Again, she rolled her eyes. The older man caught this, a deep smirk crossing his features._

_ _

_ _

_"Who are you to disrespect your elders, child?"_

_ _

_ _

_She slipped off the chair, heading towards the door. She brushed a strand of her hair out of her face and called over her shoulder._

_ _

_ _

_"Who are you to disrespect the hands of God?" _//

She reached into her to pocket, pulling out a never opened pack of cigarettes. She brought the silver lighter up to her eyes, watching the flame dance. Bringing a slim hand up, she brushed her over the lighter.

Pain was a weakness.

Strength won battles.

Yet, spirit won the wars.

Blood trickled down her lips and she brought the cigarette up to her lips.

Kindred spirits arise.

**

Sleeping was never an option and even after the war had ended, he barely traveled the dreamscape. Sally had once offered to recommend him to a doctor that could proscribe something for his insomnia. Drugs would never work.

He sighed and shut his eyes. He could picture her face, expression empty and sad. These women didn't deserve any of this. The more he heard their stories, the more he understood that not only were they fighting to keep a balance.

They were fighting for mankind to continue existing.

// _"Why do they call you the Jitsatsu Pilots?"_

_ _

_ _

_Merian gave him a tiny grin, shutting her laptop down. She motioned for him to sit on the bed across from her._

_ _

_ _

_"To put this way, think of us as avenging angels brought into existence to carry out the will of God. Except we are here to maintain the balance… The people of the Earth and the colonies can only know so much, Wufei. Can you imagine if people gained knowledge of what was really going on in the shadows?"_

_ _

_ _

_"Chaos," he whispered. "Total chaos."_

_ _

_ _

_She nodded. "Exactly." _//

Merian…

**

"Arise oh fallen angels 

_The Will must be carried out_

_Death will claim the souls of those who resist_

_And the oppressor will bleed."_

_ _

Her fingers traced the craved inscription slowly, eyes watching it in a blank gaze. She had been barely seven, alone and in constant isolation. She remembered that day clearly, though. It had been the day where she had stopped talking altogether.

// _It was cold in the north side. She felt the lack of ventilation the most during Russia's brutal winters. Making sure no one was coming, she pulled out a knife that she stole from one of the guards. Standing up, she made her way across the room to the corner near the door._

_ _

_ _

_She had heard Nana talking about religion one day and thought one of the songs she had been sing was interesting. It reminded her of something, something she couldn't really put her finger on just yet. It was almost as if it was relating to all of them._

_ _

_ _

_With swift strokes, she craved the verse onto the white wall with paint shavings falling to the ground at her feet._

_ _

_ _

_"What are you doing, brat?"_

_ _

_ _

_She whirled around to meet the glare of one of the guards stationed on her wing. She watched him with an amused expression. Like hell was she going to be afraid of him._

_ _

_ _

_"I asked you a question, brat."_

_ _

_ _

_As expected, the fat guard brought his arm down with the intention of smacking her as all guards were ordered to do if any of them refused to obey their commands. She blocked his arms, her own set in a cross position and eyes regarding him, as he were nothing but a nuisance._

_ _

_ _

_She continued to stare at him, eyes never wavering and knowing that silence would completely drive him insane. That's what happened to last guard. Getting through to him was essential, essential for her freedom._

_ _

_ _

_Her eyes widened._

_ _

_ _

_Freedom?_

_ _

_ _

_No longer did she carry the feeling, the necessity of wanting to be free from this hell. Her psyche, her frame of mind had gotten used to the initial theory of being imprisoned by these people and the council. Her soul now belonged to the war._

_ _

_ _

_She ripped her arms away from the big man, who took this as a signal that he could attack her. As he went in for the kill, she ducked and grabbed the knife she had left on the ground. Swiftly flinging her arm up, she threw the knife into his chest aiming for any artery she could. The attack caught the guard in a moment of shock, allowing her to grab his gun and shot him in the head. He fell to the ground in front of her and her own composure never wavered._

_ _

_ _

_So, she thought. This is what it means to accept the silence. _//

Accepting the silence, she thought with a shake of her head. Accepting the silence would mean she'd be accepting a part of herself that only the darkness revealed.

She meant what she said to Heero.

She removed her trench coat and rolled the sleeve of her shirt up, revealing a tiny numbers imprinted into her ivory wrist. Digging into her back pocket, she pulled out her Swiss army knife and flicked it open.

The shiny end made her think of the rays of light from the moon.

Crisp.

Sharp.

// _"You're the third this weak."_

_ _

_ _

_She said absolutely nothing, eyes trained on the door. This was obviously a waste of time._

_ _

_ _

_"They're telling me you stopped speaking now. No one just stops speaking out of the blue, child. Tell me, why?"_

_ _

_ _

_She again made no motion to speak. There was no use for a voice now. She still had much to do. The old man chuckled. "It's ironic, I think. The best of the five doesn't speak. The silent assassin, I can see it now. A swift and fearless killer, no rules and no playing, she is the angel of death herself. Even Persephone answers to her."_

_ _

_ _

_Midnight blue eyes slowly rose to meet the amused gaze of the elder. She caught the man off guard, the intensity burning into his mind. The young child jumped down off the wooden chair and headed to the door._

_ _

_ _

_Suddenly, she stopped turning to meet the surprised look of the old man._

_ _

_ _

_"I am the Final Judgment for all. I will bring justice to the oppressed." _//

Blood rolled down her wrist, dripping all over her trench coat and the floor. She watched unfazed by her own actions. It was a new level now with new possibilities. Larson had pushed too far and had no idea what was about to hit him.

Crimson tears will shed.

Kindred Souls have returned to the deliver the Will of Fate.

**

Relena…

**

Mags…

**

Hilde shifted in her seat, feeling the change of emotions in the air. Duo who had been in somewhat of daze from the execution, now watched her with interest. He had felt the change too.

"New game," she whispered. "It's a whole new game."

**

Author's Notes Another part finished and for some reason this one took a lot out of me. Maybe it was all the violent imagery. Well, you did get the three for one deal. And don't think that it's the end of the blood. The next part is a whole new level for me. ;;^^ Anyhow, Sylvia Noventa is still to come as well as a form of Lana's execution, and the resolution of the kidnapping fiasco. Plus more blood. That's two warnings in one chapter. Wow…

Dedication: As usual to oneechan and of course Ani-chan, my imouto who reviewed the wrong fic of mine. ::blows raspberry:: And to Megs who MIA. Merci!

Disclaimer: Yeah, right. You really want to know how I feel about this?____

__

_ _

_ _


	13. Bleed b.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

"You are the sun 

_I am the flame…_

_You are the blood_

_And I am the same…"_

The Cult, "Rise"

**

WARNING: Graphic material is continued in this chapter as well. I can't help it. CLAMP's X has immensely influenced me. You want to discuss that with me, I'd be more than happy to talk about it. Poor 'neechan's has to hear this everyday. Anyhow, I apologize for any psychological damage of any kind. 

DEDICATION: To oneechan, my adoration and support. Our story's going to be a kicker! And to my darling imouto, Ani-chan, thank you for support and being such a dear to me… Love YA!

DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, never will… 

**

Chapter 7b: Bleed

**

The process had to be Paci's most successful discovery and the most dangerous. To put that kind of power in one man's hand or in this case several groups was initially giving them power to play god and the ability to totally determine the fate one person's life. It started out simply at first, isolating the subject to the point where he or she had to initial react against any action that in the mind frame was considered to be an action against the self. The mind would then begin to react faster and more efficient against any present situation that would be seen as a threat. 

The second step was a violation against human rights. The test subject would be tortured, plain and simple. But it wasn't just any kind of torture, it was emotional strain and physical strain blended together for the purpose of the subject to wearily let go of their subconscious and give into the darker side of themselves.

The first test subjects of Paci's experiment along with the backing of the council had been geared towards soldiers that worked against the Underground. With the need for men and women to fight this unidentifiable force, unnamed leaders picked specific people to undergo these tests.

Unfortunately, no one survived to see the next year. Men were driven insane by straying within the grasps of solitude for too long and began to ravage their cells for anything that would end the mindless torment that they had only been sustaining for such a period of time. Women ripped at their wombs hoping to somehow pull out whatever had been put inside of them.

Dead within a year, sadly… And thus the war began and the council was given another chance to test their secret.

Five young girls, different ages and different strength fell into the hands of the council and from that day on the war between the select few and the Underground took a drastic change. 

But now has the new players enter the game, what is the truth behind Larson's motives and what really is the Underground?

The answer lies in the souls of the five chosen.

The Jitsatsu Pilots…

**

The cigarette hung loosely against her lips, eyes watching several agents run around shouting commands. She was in the infirmary ward of the Jerusalem unit, waiting to hear news on how Millardo Peacecraft and his wife were fairing. Her eyes landed on the five Gundam pilots who were waiting nervously.

She pushed herself off the wall, watching as Dorothy walked down the hall hands shoved into her pockets. Her eyes were burning with anger.

"Micah's alive."

A slender eyebrow rose and she felt the protectiveness inside of her rise. A hit against one of the five was hit against them all. 

"And," she whispered harshly. "Alexi's with him."

Her eyes snapped shut.

Time to play.

**

She sat by the windowsill staring into the frosty night, the blurry lights giving way to the deadly silent city of Moscow. It was best this way, her process having been a slight degree higher than the rest. Moscow had not done the job that the council had intended for it do.

A tiny satisfied smile crossed her features.

She still had the spirit.

Pushing herself away from the window, she sat onto of her bed. She still had the spirit and her emotions in check; she sure as hell wasn't going to lose Heero. But she had to think in means of survival now. This war was taking a turn, the underground threatening exposure and an ill-minded psychopath ready to repeat history.

She closed her eyes. According to the legends formed at the time of the war, she was the deadliest of the pilots. No emotions, no voice, she just went and did the job regardless. And it was true, every last bit of it.

Except that whole part about eating the children part…

She shook her head. Some people had way too much free time, when they thought up these stories. Ironically, she was given the position of leader even with there really being none. She was the youngest, but she was also the one who has seen the most. She could handle everything better then the other girls.

That's she happened to assume the nonexistent position of leader, well that and the council was a little bit afraid of her…

She reached under her bed and pulled out a notebook, ripping out a piece of paper. She had to be in the best frame of mind.

She had a family, old and new, to fight for. Millardo was still important regardless of what he though, Noin too, in some respects. She had the girls, always; the world owned them after years of fighting.

She would enter the game after many years of watching. Watching was no longer acceptable.

**

Growing up in a family where myths had such a significant presence, Merian herself had grown accustomed to view life with a 'third eye'. Her name and her codename had intended to give the tone of a cold and ruthless killer, even when her grandmother had made her predictions of her thirteenth granddaughter being born under the protective wings of Nataku.  

She looked out of the window of the plane. Relena had disappeared last night, intentions unclear. But everyone knew she wasn't to be disturbed. Relena was the strongest out of all of them and would fight when ready, but for now they would have to manage with what they had.

Glancing over, she watched Cat try to sleep. It was pretty obvious who was going to be the next to turn.

Legends and all…

**

He had never settled for less than perfect when it concerned his missions. In a sense, he thought with a smirk. In a sense he was like the infamous Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier.

The corpse lay before him, unmoving. He gently traced his bone fingers along the pale skin, once bright with life. At one point he had loved her…

His cause would not be in vain now.

A sacrifice is a sacrifice…

He pulled out a long danger and sliced a cut into the center of the bare chest. He smirked and ignored the red liquid that snuck out. A slender hand reached in and grabbed the dead heart, pulling it out into his hands.

They would pay…

To bad it was dead…

"Welcome come to hell."

**

"…In other news, former Gundam Pilot Duo Maxwell is now wanted to for the murder of now dead Larson executive campaign director, Lana Emerson…"

**

All right I know I should be shot on sight for not posting in two months, but people I had my college applications to do, so please understand. What is inexcusable is my new found addiction to General hospital. Shameless… 

This part is short for a reason, partly because I've just decided to see how evil I can be and the other reason is because the next part will only work if I do it this way.

A major piece of business, I will be continuing kirei ummei but I would love it if someone would help me out. It would be nice, especially if you're familiar with Vampire Princess Miyu. 

Review!


	14. Burning Darkness

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

WARNING: These are pointless, ne? Obviously the story line is going to get a tiny bit, um violent… Just a little heads up for those who really can't take the mental images…

DISCLAIMER: Yes?

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Will be at the end, do to the fact that I forgot what I was going to say. So they'll be right after the dedication.

**

Chapter Eight: Burning Darkness

**

_"The heart knows its own bitterness, and in its own joy no one shares."_

_Proverbs 14:10_

"Shit," she cursed, weaving her way through the hospital hallways. They were supposed to have taken care of this. Didn't they not know that Lana had been Larson's godforsaken mistress? Her cell phone rang and she wiped it out of her pocket angrily.

"Schibecker," she hissed.

"Darling, I assumed you heard the news?"

She flew into the elevator like a bat out of hell, thanking the fates that there was no one in there so she could curse the old man like no one else.

"I assume old man that you're really not doing a damn thing about this."

Charles chuckled and she bit her lip in anger, drawling blood. The old man was really pissing her off. "Of course dear," he replied nonchalantly. "We're doing everything we can. The question is are you watching Maxwell?"

"I'm not a fucking babysitter, muchacho," she hissed. Her expression darkened watching the floor numbers light up. 

"And if I find that the _gringo_ is dead in some alley somewhere I will pissed, very pissed. Comprende?"

"You're not in a position to make threats little girl," the older man replied, voice filled with a detectable nervousness.

She licked her lips. He had no idea what he was doing if he was going to enter this game with the rest of the girls and her. She knew that she wasn't the only one who would make sure history would not repeat itself.

Damn sure.

"And you're not in a position to fuck around with me, senor. I will make your life miserable if you decided to play."

And with that said she hung up, not caring if the old fart would tell Doc to reprimand her for 'disrespectful' behavior. She had more important things to think about.

"Where are you Duo?"

A child's voice…

**

The smell of rotting flesh pushed her up to a quick sitting position. She calmed down, realizing that she merely was sitting next to Merian waiting for their plane to depart. Her eyes wandered to the window, Moscow fog covering the view of the city she once called home. The images began to get blurry, a whirlwind of unstable colors.

"Mer-ian," she managed to choke out. The Chinese woman whirled around in her seat, eyes filled with concern. Catherine fumbled with her seatbelt, the air around her suddenly cornering her and suffocation becoming evident.

The legend of the Phoenix is something we keep very close to our heart, child.

She began to claw at herself. The smell was getting worse. It had to be a figment; it really had to be just that.

_It's all in the mind._

"Mer-ian… Make it stop…"

Images of the dying and the starving all in lines being lead to death rushed through her head. Screams of mothers losing their children invaded her ears.

_Protecting is a noble cause..._

"Cat," Merian began softly. She knew, Catherine released. She knew. "Cat, just let it go…"

And she could do was sob.

... But fighting is a lost one...

"All you can do is just let go..."

**

Dorothy had always had a fiery personality. It was what made their relationship interesting. She'd counter everything he'd say and vice versa. And, he thought with a faint smirk, intimacy never lacked creativity. 

But now as he stood in front of the small group, he couldn't force himself to meet her gaze. In fact, it really didn't help that the blonde Gundam pilot was watching him intently as well.

"It's been a long time," he heard Micah speak. He would have said something, but there was no way his voice would come out controlled.

His comrade was greeted by nothing but silence. He watched as Dorothy nodded for the others to leave, probably to stay on guard. He couldn't see Hilde Schibecker anywhere, which was good in a strange sense. The woman had always seemed to be a sadist to him.

One by one the occupants left, the blonde man looking at Dorothy with a worried expression. Her expression was blank, but Alexi knew her well enough to know that she was somehow connected to the man.

He hadn't forgotten.

He had never forgotten what she was like. 

Inch by inch…

"Is there an initial purpose that the both of you are here for? As a matter of fact, is there a purpose or a good reason for you both being alive? And do make it go, my dear friends," Dorothy finally spoke.

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, love. Never had," Micah countered smoothly.

Her bright green eyes were pinning him still. There had been a time where those eyes had looked at him with nothing but adoration and love. Now it was just emptiness.

"Dor-dorothy-"

"It speaks."

"He's here because I need him to," Micah interjected.

She snorted. "Isn't it a wonderful feeling that my ex-fiancée is the devil's spawn?"

Micah stepped towards her, Dorothy not a all the least bit frightened. "We are here to help."

She chuckled and ducked under his arm, moving to grab a file by Alexi. Alexi froze at the sudden brush of contact, his gaze meeting hers.

"I grew up, sugar-pie," she mocked. "Hurts doesn't it. So why you tell me the reason why you're really here?"

"He does-"

"Why don't go an introduce yourself to Heero Yuy? I'm sure he'd be more than happy to meet your acquaintance."

Micah's eyes darkened.

"Too late."

Alexi trembled as he sighed. Leaning against the door stood Pilot 01 of Operation Meter, blue eyes filled with nothing but contempt. 

Things just spun out of control.

**

I love my sister.

With my memories of parents nothing but a blur, my sister was the only part of that past I'd never see again. I remember holding her; Mother's voice still to this day whispers the same thing over and over again.

Protect her. Protect her with your life, dear prince.

I love my sister, honestly.

I just had no idea…

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

**

It had been like parting with a doll. Even long ago she had her designated 'favorite' doll, hair made out of the finest thread Nana could find and her eyes sapphires that Poppa had found in the cold mountains. It was a symbol for her, old and young, an unattainable concept she could never have.

She had named the doll Adia.

Adia in likeness of Adagio, compositions of two bodies…

She stood in the front of the cave, violet eyes staring in child-like awe.

"Are you sure?"

She didn't even turn. "It's too late, Merian."

There was a sigh and then a rustle of clothing. Perception was the most important survival skill in this game, with the mind being everything.

"I'll be outside."

She stepped forward into the darkness of the cave, as if she were embracing her own.

"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust…"

Slender fingers traced along the sharp edges of the cave, remembering and absorbing. Let past be the past… Cool metal finally came into contact with her calloused hands.

Years of fighting, working it was always the same. She heard Merian shift, detecting the nervousness in her body movement.

The time will come.

**

He hated waiting. Waiting had always been the worst part, especially since he had been waiting for this moment for years.

Bony white fingers gently touched a small and torn photograph.

There had been times.

"Leos to deploy…"

There had been good times.

"Attack when ready…"

Theirs will end.

**

Ooo, even I'm reveling in my own attempts at a cliffhanger. I am happy to report though that there are at least six more chapters left in this story, well seven if you count the epilogue.

On a character bases note, Alexi will have several multiply personalities. I know I presented him as an a-hole, but there is a reason behind everything. And no Relena did not disappear off the face of the earth; she'll show up soon. Duo will not be tormented for long either, I promise. Oh and gringo is a term that is used in Spanish speaking countries to describe Americans.

DEDICATION: Special thanks to 'neechan for just being an utter darling. ::giggles:: Still have got that e-mail! To my imouto Ani-chan, for being totally *kawaii*! And lastly to Lillia for the adorable review. Merci!

Oh and um, there's a possibility that I might post a Christmas story… So look for that and beware by now you know it's going to be a doozy…


	15. Mer de Noms a.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Warning: **Can't deal with graphic violence, don't read. I really hate the e-mails that say that my story is way too violent and I have a warning at the beginning. Save yourself from embarrassment. This is going to be a twisted chapter due to an addiction to General Hospital, a romance novel for Christmas, and watching Angel Sanctuary. Combination it is…

**Dedication:** To oneechan and Ani-chan as always, supporting me in anything crazy I come up with. I love you!

**Author's Note**: I profoundly apologize for not updating faster, but dear readers I've having a whirlwind of a life. Good things have been happening as well as bad, so because of this I had to rewrite all of chapter 9. Since its rather lengthy, I'm posting them in two parts. I kind of killed someone I wasn't supposed to and that's why the rewrite occurred. I apologize again and enjoy!

**

_Heal me, Lord, that I may be healed;_

_Save me that I may be saved…_

_Jeremiah 18:14_

**

Chapter 9a: Mer de Noms, _Sea of Names_

**

Cool fingertips grazed his forehead brushing strands of loose hair out of his face. He couldn't remember the last time he had laid in an army infirmary. The last battle when Otto had… He shook his head. Past mistakes could not be thought of now. He had a lot to worry about. His sister namely and his wife… He pushed himself up with groan.

"You know the doctor specifically said for you to relax, not to be a complete moron."

"I'm glad to see you're in good spirits, wife."

Lucrezia Noin chuckled and sat down next to the bed, adjusting her arm sling. A small gash grazed her left cheek. He sobered up and traced her face gently.

"Are you all right?"

She nodded. "No thanks that male ego of yours. The Duchess however…"

"Oh God-"

His eyes closed. "I understand the points of warfare, the harshness of battle, but I can't for the life of me understand any of this. I have so many questions and Relena is so far away it seems… I just don't know what to believe anymore." 

 "I'm afraid for her."

**

"So you're the famous Heero Yuy…"

His eyes narrowed, but he made no move to answer. It would be this man cockiness that would serve as his downfall. He leaned against the bare wall behind him, finally smirking when he saw the look of frustration on the other man's face.

_Competition will be eliminated_.

"You mute, lad?"

His smirk grew, but again he made no motion to reply.

"I said are you mute lad?"

_Competition will be eliminated at all costs._

Micah approached the pilot of 01, anger now clearly visible. He slammed his hands against the wall beside Heero's face. The smirk never left his face nor did he blink.

"I don't talk unless I'm dire need of doing so."

Grabbing Micah by the collar, he flung the larger man against the wall. _Breath. In-out-In-out. _His hands clutched the other man's shirt tightly, eyes never leaving his face.

"You don't deserve to live," Heero spat.

_Competition will be eliminated._

"She loved you and you left her. You lied to her."

_Competition will be eliminated at all costs._

Micah smirked. "And you're no better than me… She's a mission to you and she was a pawn to me, end of story."

At all coasts… 

_Crack!_

Heero stood tall, blue eyes blazing with a fierce intensity, which only one other person could match. His fist was still high in the air, gripped tightly.

ALL COSTS… 

"I love her," he hissed. "I love Relena because she accepts me, me and no one else."

All… 

"You don't owe her," Micah countered.

Competition… 

Heero shook his head and turned towards the door. He wasn't worth it. Relena was the one who need to finish this, whenever she came back.

Costs… 

"I do owe her. She's mine."

ELMININATED… 

"Like I am hers."

**

She barely could feel the ice-cold water dripping down her back in the shower. She didn't even register the fact that about an hour ago she had left Merian, her partner in the mission alone on a flight back to Jerusalem. Her eyes closed; maybe it was a good idea to stay in Jordan.

_You won't hurt anyone_.

She sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

Then let go! What's stopping you? 

"Everything," she whispered. "Everything that I worked so goddamn hard to close in. To try… To live… I will die if I try to open up again."

Take the razor then. End the self-worth and the misery, freedom can be achieved…

She hit the shower button off and stood in the shower naked and silent, welcoming the bitter cold. Cat's eyes never left the plastic razor. Her ivory fingertips glazed the sharp edges, drawling blood. It's been a long time since she'd taken her own blood.

It'll be a pitiful way to die, Natia.

"I am not Natia," she hissed, drawling more blood as she dug the razor deeper into her skin.

_Natia, Natia, Natia… Never could handle the past…_

"I *am* not *Natia*."

_Never could handle the fact that the Phoenix lives inside of you, dear._

"Stop taunting me," she screamed, slamming the razor down and her fist into wall. "Stop taun-ting me…"

Release, child.

"I don't-"

Just let go, Cat. Just let go… 

Violet eyes widened slightly and then relaxed easing into a deep meditation.

You are Catherine.

"I am Catherine."

You are Natia.

"I am Natia."

_You are the Phoenix_.

"I am the Phoenix."

And you will always be the Darkness.

"I am the Darkness."

Release… 

"I am the Darkness."

**

It was a large book. Its cover a faded violet with paintings of flowers and ribbons dancing in circles in the center while the corners had worn black ribbons tied into small bows. A larger ribbon, tied into a single knot, held the book itself together. Slender hands reached out to touch it, afraid that if even the slightest of movements would cause the precious item to break. Her fingers traced over the front, landing on small silver script.

To she who is lost 

_May you find yourself and your heart._

"There are two of us left."

**


	16. Kage No Shinigami b.

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Warning**: Dark content, not as bloody, but still the same very dark content. Can't deal with it, I'm sure there are some nice G-rated stories out there.

**Disclaimer**: No… Wish I did… Blah, blah, blah…

**Dedication**: To the usual oneechan and Ani-chan, and a new one Ani-chan's review. I love that review…

**Author's Notes**: Well, my dear readers as I was planning the rest of the chapters I realized that I honestly don't have that much longer until the story ends. I know I'm excited. Keep in mind that from here on now it's going to be the war with a few alterations. And um, people are going to die…

**

"Till like a fire there appeared the prophet 

_Whose words were as a flaming furnace…"_

_Sirach 48: 1_

**

Chapter 9b: Kage No Shinigami

      _The Shadow of Death_

He walked out of the room, emotions whirling. The guy was son of a bitch. Thinking he could control, probably the strongest woman he'd ever met in his life. It was ridiculous, absurd, and he still didn't understand why he was getting so worked up about this.

_You're in love_.

He stopped, leaning against the cold cement wall. He shut his tightly, practically panting every breath. He was a cold and ruthless soldier, a perfect assassin. He got the goddamn job done.

But you're in love. And you're afraid more than anything that you're going to lose her. Sylvia doesn't matter anymore, the Preventers don't matter anymore, just ending this and Relena.

He slid down to the ground, confusion racking through his mind and taunting him. It was so much easier when she was near and where he could rest knowing she was within the vicinity.

"Bravo, Heero. That was some show you gave back there."

He turned to meet the cool gaze of Dorothy who stood against the opposite wall, eyes as fierce as a lioness. She cocked her head to the side and he waited for the all too familiar smirk to grace her face. But nothing came.

"I'm not here to mock you, Yuy."

"I thought that after you turn, you lose your humanity," he hissed back, wanting to make sure she knew that he wanted to be left alone.

She shook her head and gave him a soft smile. "If I had lost my humanity," she began, urging him to meet her gaze. "I would have slit your throat a long time ago. Apparently I was crazy…"

"…"

"You think you understand us so well, don't you? It was assumptions that got you in trouble in the first place."

He sighed, burying his head into his arms. This place was overwhelming. A huge lack of understanding surrounded everything, especially since Duo, Hilde, and Relena had gone missing.

"Will Schibecker find him?"

"Of course," Dorothy replied. "Hilde could find him with her eyes closed in a matter of minutes. No worries there."

He looked at her, expression like a child ready to find out the true meaning behind something. "Was it necessary for…"

"Yes. She needed to be killed. She had been using him and was a danger, you understand?"

"Yes…"

"But this isn't what your upset about. Or why you near killed the heir to the most powerful underground family. You want to know the answer to a question that I can't give you."

He looked at her, fist clenching tightly at his sides. "I need…"

"We all know what you need. It's in your eyes no matter how hard you try to hide it. But she needs to be by herself, Yuy. It's the way she is."

"I want to help her, love her. I want to make new and erase the old."

Dorothy kneeled in front of him, eyes searching for something. "She loves you," she spoke quietly. "But you need to accept her as well. She's the greatest enigma out of all of us."

Dorothy sighed.

"She will come back. She always does."

**

Blood gushed out from the womb in her side. _Shit, shit, shit_… She needed to stay away from planes from now on. She should have stayed with Cat in Jordan. Her eyes wandered around the plane. Families sat in corner seats, huddling together for warmth and for comfort. All they knew was a bunch of masked men had taken the plane hostage. She felt like cursing up a storm.

Of course, what got her in the predicament was her instinct to fight back. A smirk crossed her tired features. Kind of like Fei-kun…

"Get up, bitch."

She groaned, as one of the guys forced her up onto her feet. Once again, damn her fighting instinct. _I'm ready to kick the SOB. _The guy was ugly, a huge red scar present on his upper right cheek. He pushed her against the wall.

"At least you learned your lesson."

Merian smirked, despite the pain. "Who says I did?" He was at least three times the size of her, but she knew that she could take him with ease. She could smell the irritation and something akin to even fear. She searched the man's eyes.

He's afraid to have blood on his hands.

"You're going to get yourself killed, woman," he hissed, kicking her straight on the ribs. She hissed out in pain and then shut her eyes. She let herself be taken to the void. _Pain is only a sign of weakness._

"I think I'm pushing your buttons, _dear_."

She pushed herself up, breathing heavily. Her eyes opened and her face fell expressionless. She was falling back into old habits…

"Pushing me," she began slowly. "Pushing me might be your last breath."

**

"Five…"

People rushed through the barracks. Guns were being load, orders shouted, and places question. The war would begin soon.

"Four…"

They had left the post of leadership alone for too long. The Society would be ready to take what was rightfully theirs all along.

"Three…"

A statement must be made. People must die… The women, the children, the sick and the old… Everything had a purpose and place…

"Two…"

Everything has an end and a beginning…

"One…"

And the city known as Brussels fell to its end. The war had begun.

**

The graveyards were phenomenal. Creamy concrete stone formed graves of all types, some more elaborate than the others. He sighed and sat on top of a mildewed cover bench. Emotions were whirling around inside of him.

Dead, dead, dead… 

Why did loss have to hut so much? Why, now did he have to pay for the mistakes that he had made? Lana had been innocent or had she?

_You just can't accept the truth_.

"I can," he whispered, the wind blowing his chestnut.

You cannot… 

"Then why am I here? Why can't go and fight? Why am I running?"

You're afraid.

"Of what?"

You're afraid.

"Of what, goddamn it?!"

Of falling in love with- 

"Stop it, I must be going crazy."

"Well, then if you're crazy I might want to question my own sanity."

He looked up.

Hilde had found him.

**


	17. If Only A Fleeting Memory

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Dedication**: To all of you, minna-san! Thank you, thank you so very much! This story is for all of you. The following get an extra special thank you though. To Ani-imouto, you are so adorable and I love your reviews. To my darling oneechan, *giggles* never fear our story will soon see the light of day. To Starlight, my newfound kindred spirit who shares the *best* conversations with me. And to Sliver Wing, thank you for being there since day one. I'm in a fantastic mood, minna!

**Disclaimer**: I'll take good care off them. *crosses fingers behind back* Promise…

**Warning:** Leave it to me, to torment people in an interlude. There are mature themes in this as well as an enormous amount of blood. Please, please don't read if you can't take it… I won't be offended if you don't. For those daring the plunge, this is severely influenced by my new RK and Angel Sanctuary DVDs. 

**Author's Notes**: This is told in a series of flashbacks, some things will be explained and others will remain unsaid. And don't worry, Relena fans, Chibi-Relena or some form of Relena will be making an appearance…

**

_"I will question you, and you will tell me answers."_

JOB 38: 3 

**

Interlude: If Only A Fleeting Memory

**

            Dorothy had fondly once called her obsessive-compulsive, the need for everything to have a place showing brightly in the work she did. She made sure papers were never misplaced, picture frames upright, and the wood of her desk **always** polished. She closed her eyes and took off her glasses, burying her head in her arms. This was getting out of control; the council had no more power to suppress the underground anymore. She sighed; it would be up to the girls now.

            Her girls, nonetheless…

            Her gaze fell down to her hands. Old and worn, she thought bitterly. Instead of falling her mother's dreams of having a family and being married, she pursed not even an interest but an obsession with science. Her hands and her heart were now showing the effects of what her years of work.

            She sighed and opened her desk drawer, pulling out a small picture frame. A faint smile crossed her lips as she brushed her fingers against the stained glass. Merian's tenth birthday had been the last of their happy times…

            _"So did you have a good birthday, love?"_

_            The small child looked up at her with her dark green eyes shining with something akin to hope. Hope, she thought with a sigh. Hope in these children was something she would never understand where it came from. Every day was no different, each girl providing more and more unbelievable insight into a life she thought she could never ever open herself to ever again. With the exception of the war still lingering that is…_

_            "Hai, sensei-sama. Arigato."_

_            She chuckled, kneeling to face the small girl. "Your Japanese is coming along well. I'm happy."_

_            Merian kept her gaze trained onto her. Like Relena, Merian was exceptionally sharp at reading one's emotions. Even when she had been a mere baby, the child could predict the outcome of any situation and someone's feelings. "Is there something the matter?"_

_            The child kept staring at her, silent. Her heart began to pound. Did she know? Did she over hear anything? Did she know that times were getting worse?_

_            "This will be our last time together, ne?"_

_            A simple question and the child deserved more than a simple answer. She could only nod, biting back the tears that threaten to fall. The five girls were her family, her blood._

_            "'Tis our last fight, child."_

            That had been one of the best and the worst days of her life. They had been so happy, the pains and sorrows had been locked away.

            _"It's kind of silly really," Hilde sniffed, wiping her tears away violently. "La mujer tanta said that we weren't allowed to have dreams. I have dreams. I have dreams to fall in love and being able to smile! I will have them!"_

            She chuckled, brushing a strand of hair gently out of the younger girl's face. "You will have your dreams, little one. You will always have your dreams."

            There had been days almost unbearable, days she didn't know why she had pulled through. The night Catherine had almost killed herself was horrific, a sick breakthrough for the council since they had finally gained their immortal warriors.

            _"I'm dead, dead, dead, dead…"_

_            She approached slowly, unsure on how to deal with this new finding. They were now finding Catherine susceptible violence. Emma let out a tiny sigh. One, two, three…_

_            "Catherine, darling?"_

_            "My name, name, name, name is Natia, Natia, Natia, Natia. You, you, you, you changed it. I was happy, happy, happy, happy. Now I'm dead, dead, dead, dead…"_

_            She could see the blood dripping down the side of the younger girl's mouth. It was almost as if the younger girl was possessed by an evil spirit._

_            "Dead, dead, dead, dead… I'm dead, dead, dead, dead… Dead-"_

_            It was then she watched in horror as Catherine took a pocketknife and jammed it into her arm, narrowly missing her vein. She watched in morbid fascination as the girl dipped two fingers into her deep wound._

_            "Natia-Natia, dead, dead, dead, dead…"_

_            And slow, careful motions Catherine painted in her own blood the word 'Darkness' on the spotless wall._

            She shivered and stood, facing the windows to the multitudes of gardens outside her study. Night had already befallen London.

            _"What is love, 'mma?"_

_            She kissed Dorothy on the forehead, pushing her back into the covers. "That is a question that only you can answer yourself."_

            No sooner, the young French woman entered the realm of heartbreak and the ends of insanity. It was then when the painting became an obsession.

            _Blues, reds, golds, and slivers all surrounded the second youngest of the Jitsatsu pilots. Her hair was stained with paint, no longer that glowing hue she was so famous for. Emma almost felt sorry for the thirteen year old, who sometimes went off into her own world even after years of already being turned._

_            "He's dead to me."_

Hilde had been the scariest first time out of all of them, for she had not seen the girl's change into one of the best combat pilots known now only to the legends. Hers had been one of the most violent transformations, after Relena's that is.

"I hear nothing," Charles muttered, ears pressed against the door. Emma rolled her eyes at the man's obvious stupidity and stepped forward into the room, ignoring the fact that door was already oddly enough wide open.

_She gasped and nearly fainted at the sight at of a lab technician's body lying in a pool of blood. "Oh God… Dear God…" Her eyes wandered upward and were greeted by the most horrific sight. A severed hand was pinned by a scalpel to the wall, blood dripping down to the floor. It had just been cut, it occurred to her. Her eyes wildly scanned the room._

_"Hilde?"_

_Her voice sounded so hollow and tired._

_"I am not…"_

_Hilde sat in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth covered in blood._

_"I am not the Devil nor the Shinigami…"_

_"Hilde? Chica?"_

_"I am just a killer…"_

Placing a hand against the cool glass, she closed her eyes. Relena would probably be returning soon.

"I don't want anybody, 'mma. I must leave for that matter. 'Tis what is best."

She was five then, the child out of the five that she had the most difficulty understanding. But she was also the easiest to get along with.

"Doctor Peterson?"

She whirled around ready to berate the ingrate who decided to bother her when a nervous soldier met her. She held her breath.

"Ma'am, Brussels has been attacked."

Her eyes widened.

"And Ms. Sylvia Noventa is dead."

**

A cliffhanger in an interlude? ^^ Who would have thought? Review!

*** I am not the Devil nor the Shinigami. I am just a killer*** This is a quote from Weiss Kruetz from the wonderful mouth of Aya. ^^ Kawaii no baka! 


	18. Shades of Grey *Lime Warning*

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Warning**: Um, bloody? It's pretty bad, this time guys… There's even some sexual content. Blame still resides on both my Angel Sanctuary, X, and RK DVDs. I apologize and author's notes at the end.

**Disclaimer:**Due to the disturbance in my daily dosage of Claritin, the occasional hallucinations that I do own GW will occur. Thank you for your time.

**Dedication:** To the following wonderful people in my life, Ani-imouto, oneechan, and Starlight-oneechan, this part is for you and your support. *sniff* I love you guys!

**

Chapter 10: Shades of Grey

He who trusts in himself is a fool 

_But he who walks in wisdom is safe_

_Proverbs 29:26_

**

                        "Hilde," he breathed, her name sounding so foreign to his ears now. She stood behind him, expression blank and holding him motionless. Her eyes were barely open, signaling her fatigue. It was the first time since she had 'died' that he had really gotten look at her face. Worn, the strongest woman he thought he knew was worn.

            "What are you doing here?" He asked, nervously shifting from foot to foot. There was that gaze of hers again, undermining him to the brink of insanity. He had seen that look twice in his life, once after she was hurt during the Libra and the other… Duo sighed. He had met the other when she turned.

            "I should be asking you, nino."

            He slumped against the wall in defeat, numbness behind the past weeks' events finally catching up to him. "I killed a woman," he spoke wearily. "I killed a woman." 

Hilde stepped forward. "You only believed you did."

"She's dead because of me. Lana's dead because of me."

Hilde shook her head. "Pathetic. You really don't get it, do you?"

"I couldn't protect her…"

Hilde hissed and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, throwing him against the wall. Her face was only inches from him.

"Listen to me," she whispered dangerously. "You're going to drive yourself insane if you continue with this nonsense. You can't afford this, you will hurt the people around."

"Why did you come then? To play _my_ knight in shining armor? If you're into role reversal and dominance, then I'd be more than happy to comply. I enjoy _games_."

Her fist connected with his jaw, causing him to spit up blood. Ignoring the oozing liquid trickling down his throat, she tightened her grip on his sweat-stained shirt. The air began to smell like rotting corpse as Duo's eyes darkened to a degree that she didn't recognize.

"She was dead long before she met you, Maxwell. Get over yourself goddamn it! I cannot afford to help you when you fall in this type of war-"

"You mean you can't afford the emotional attachment."

She growled and threw him to the ground, straddling his pelvis with her hips. She leaned over him, eyes blazing with an intensity she was undoubtedly ready to match. Her hands lay on either side of him, hair deep as midnight brushing his nose. She began to grind her hips against him and he was powerless to stop the ever so painfully reminder of his maleness. He groaned softly, grabbing her thighs roughly against his own body.

"I… can," she moaned, throwing her head back. "I just haven't found the person who can keep up with me."

He flipped her over and pinned Hilde underneath him, holding her arms above her head. He chuckled darkly watching her eyes blaze with an unbelievable amount of passion.

"I'll play your game," he said, lowering his face inches above hers. Her hands broke free and she grabbed him by the shoulders, arching her back to meet his slow thrusts. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, causing him to let out a feral growl.

Hilde laughed softly, nipping at his bottom lips.

"I'm game."

**

            "You look tired."

            Dorothy whirled around to be greeted by the gentle expression belonging to Quatre Winner. She sighed. The man had impeccable timing. She hated his empathic abilities sometimes.

"I am," she replied, never tearing her gaze away from the glass window. "I am."

"You need to rest… Dee." She shivered. Her name sounded so foreign on his lips. She bit her lip, raising her hand to the icy glass. What she wouldn't give…

"_Ma grand-mére est sympa_. The only person in my life who really pushed me and cared… It didn't matter that my mother… my mother killed my father, my papa in cold blood. She helped me fight away the nightmares, but she could never help with the memories though. No one could ever help with the memories, they're some things that are just meant to be fought alone."

He sighed, knowing that he could never get Dorothy to budge. All he could do was offer his support. He was beginning to understand… Quatre placed a hand on her shoulder, surprised but pleased that she made to movement to back away or to shrug off from his touch.

"Brussels was attacked today," she spoke softly.

"Casualties?"

"The whole city with only ten thousand escaping. No one had expected the west side attack."

He sighed. "Then that confirms Noventa is dead."

"_Oui_ how's Heero?"

"Shocked, angry, hoping Miss Relena comes back safely."

A faint smile crossed her lips. "She is the strongest out of all of us…"

"I know…"

"And the most dangerous…"

**

            "_It seems like nearly forever since I've talked to you. Lady Une won't even let me know what's going on._"

            He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to say everything was going to be okay. He even wanted to say that he'd coming home soon, but he knew he would never bring himself to lie. To Midii and to himself, but most importantly he could never leave Catherine.

            _"Trowa, please_…"

            He sighed softly. "You know I can't…"

            He heard her huff in frustration. Midii spoke bitterly, "_Are you ever coming home again_?"

            Before he could respond, he found himself locked into a deep violet-eyed gaze. 

_Catherine_… 

She stood against the doorframe with her arms crossed, an air of complete authority encasing her. Slowly, the corners of her lips turned up into a smirk.

"Meeting."

He nodded, numbly. Words couldn't even begin to come out of his mouth.

_Oh god, this is who she is_…

"_Trowa?"_

She's the… 

"_Trowa!"_

_Darkness_.

**

            _Only ten thousand had survived_, he thought with his hand clenched at his side. Not even a third of the city was what ten thousand meant. He kneeled down in front of the fresh grave before him, laying the roses he held in his hands.

            _I'm say goodbye to you, Sylvia. You deserved happiness and yet, I deserve mine. And I have that chance. I'm not apologizing for the fact that I couldn't love you the way you wanted me to, but I'm happy you taught me how to feel something, anything in this war-torn body of mine._

_            I will not lose her. I refuse._

            He reached out to touch the damp concrete's engravings. She was free now, Sylvia. She was free…

Sylvia Noventa 

_A.C 178-A.C 202_

_'I praise you, Lord for you raised me up and did not let my enemies rejoice over me.'_

**

            "Doctor?"

            The old woman raised her head from the mountains of papers she was searching through. There had to be something, anything she could find.

            "Yes?"

            "There's been another plane hijacked by Larson's men, led by Colonel Harpers."

            She held her breath. "And?"

            "Chang Merian is on that plane, ma'am."

            "Shit," she hissed slamming her hand onto the desk. 

            "_Shit_."

**

**Author's Notes**: Just to give you a heads up, the war will be starting in three chapters. I won't give away how I'm going to do it, but it's coming in about three chapters or so. And for you Relena lovers again, she's coming just not yet. I need her away for just a little longer, plus Heero's role is about to expand so you need to wait. In addressing why I killed Sylvia, well I like Midii and I needed to kill *someone* so she was perfect for the job. And no, I'm not going to pull an Obi-Wane I refuse.

The next chapter, dear readers is going to be all out blood and *cough* sex. It fits for some reason and the length is kind of, well it's rather long so it might be cut so I can focus more on developing.

The biggest question and due to the overwhelming response, how do you all feel about a sequel? I'm curious to know… I'm also kind of curious to know how you all think I'm going to end this story. I've gotten so fun responses but nowhere near what I have planned. Maybe I'll offer a prize or something for whoever gets closest. I write a fic of your choice…

Review, please. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!


	19. Post-Exodus

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

****

****

**Author's Notes**: *hides behind muse* Don't kill me… Honestly, I didn't mean to do it. It just, well, kind of fit. I promise that I'll make up for it, honest! Just don't kill me… Relena does make an appearance of the sort. She's coming soon…

**Warning**: *pulls out checklist* I feel like Santa Claus with this, checking my list twice. There's major violence in this chapter. Blood, gore, and torture in some fun twisted way. With a few implications of sex, insanity, and so on… And to top it all of with, *sets Duo muse in front of her* DEATH…

**Dedication**: To Ani-chan, my pride and joy. I want to read your story. To oneechan, *cough* haven't mailed me back girl! And to Starlight-oneechan, my best friend and hopefully won't go Evil Kamui on my butt for this part. It's cruel…

  
**

Chapter 11: Post-Exodus 

_I see hell in your eyes._

_Taken in by surprise._

_Touching you makes me feel so alive._

_Touching you make die inside…_

_Slept So Long, Jay Gordon- "Queen of the Damned Soundtrack"_

            Being greeted by deadening silence was not the most comforting feeling in the world. Micah walked in, Alexi in tow with the eyes of every single person in the room falling onto him. _I've prepared for this moment for so long. Why am I so nervous?_ He moved forward to the front, expression hardening. He could handle this. It was for his family. This moment belonged to him.

            "Well, well. If it isn't the Great Jackass himself? Welcome to the land of the living, _little boy_," Hilde greeted from her spot next to one of the Gundam pilots, Duo Maxwell. His eyes widened at the possessive arm the man had around the smaller woman.

            "Betraying Adan, Schibecker?"

            The comment didn't faze her at all. The woman had the audacity to smirk and place both her feet on top of the long table. She unconsciously leaned into Maxwell. "Well sugar-daddy, I'm sure you remember that I saw his body being burned to a crisp so I _do _know that he's dead. And secondly, he will always have a place in my heart. My heart is mine to give." Her eyes darkened. "And let's not talk about your track record, dearie."

            Dorothy intervened before anything else could be said. "Is there a reason why you specifically called us to talk, Micah?"

            "We're short pilots. We need recruiting."

            He looked around the room, eyes lingering on the present pilots. Catherine gave him a haunting gaze in return and shook her head. She hadn't even bothered greeting her own brother when she had returned. Regardless, she had brought the news of Chang Merian's capture prompting a nearly violent response from her husband. Most of the man's anger was directed at him for some reason. Probably because he was a source of anger for the girls themselves… He yet to find Relena as well…

            "You called a formal meeting for this," Hilde spoke up, rolling her eyes. "I don't suppose you want us to go a hunting for some folks, eh?"

            "You think you're funny," Micah hissed.

            "I think she is," Maxwell countered with a smirk on his face.

            "You would since you are fucking her."

            "Why you son of a-"

            *whoosh* A knife flew by his head and embedded itself across the wall. He brought his hand up to his check, feeling the blood trickle down his fingers. He met the eyes of Catherine across the room, her fingers still suspended in mid-air.

            "Natia," he heard Alexi whisper.

            She leaned back in her chair eyes never leaving his own surprised expression. "I suggest," she began quietly. "That you _find a purpose_ to this meeting. And find it fast since Wufei is missing."

            _Oh god._

**

            She slowly opened her eyes with a groan. Her vision cleared and she found herself strapped down to a chair. Her legs, arms, wrists were all bound. _Shit_. At least the only figured out that she worked for Paci, otherwise she would be shipped to the greater unknown. 

            "You're awake. I find you to be the most interesting prisoner."

            She bit her lip from crying out in pain as she felt the bounds cut into her skin. Her eyes widened as she saw the shadow man pull out a long needle. _Fuck, oh fuck…_

            "I see you recognize this me dear. Perhaps, you were in one of the camps, eh? A familiar needle, one laced with a hallucinogen and a pepper powder. Burns like hell."

            She felt a cold finger trace its way up her arm. _Injection. Like when they were trying to turn to me in the chamber. Ah, hell…_

            "Look jackass," she tried. "I couldn't tell you what you want to know probably. I'm just a minor officer."

            Rambling was always good. It gave you the upper hand in some regards, giving you the ability see your captor's purpose and intelligence level. But she couldn't focus at all, her only choice of reliance being intelligence. She could see no face, but only hear voices and breathing. She had only the use of two senses left.

            She heard the brush of moment and found herself smelling a mix of sweat and cheap cologne. _Acting officer, girlfriend dumped him, family vengeance, usually Society victim…_

            "Now beautiful woman, I think that you need to tell me about your next move or I will-" She cried out in pain, lurching forward. Her arm began to throb rather painfully and she could smell her own blood starting to flow out of her body. 

            _Blood, sweat, roses… _She remembered a rainy day, along time ago. She violently shook her head. She was getting of focus and trying to alert herself, but her captor felt otherwise.

            "Bitch… I'll just have to use other means…"

**

            The cigarette hung limp from the corner of his mouth. He watched as random soldiers ran to and from, making arrangements for the next attack. _Pawns. They were merely pawns in this fantastic game of mine._ He placed a large hand on the window. The outside was calling to him, beckoning for him to come, to conquer.

            "You do realize that your quest is completely useless."

            He whirled around ready to fight, but was greeted by nothing but the darkening silence of the room. _A man with no fears is a fool with ghost memories_.

            "Ellie, I don't tolerate jokes."

            Silence.

            "Michael?"

            The cigarette fell to the floor, a small cloud of smoke rising. His hands were trembling and he stood stiffly watching the door. _A man with ghost memories… I'm a fool. There's no one there._ He fell to his knees, breathing heavily. The voices still echoed in his mind.

            _  Says she a real cutie, the last pilot. But she's a real bitch when it comes to piloting those damn hunks of metal, boy. They call her the Angel of Death back in Ireland. She's got the long flowing hair that looks like strands of gold and shit. It's her eyes man, blue as the goddamn Nile. They'll drawl you in and BAM! You be a-floating to the afterlife. She'll watch you, Tommy-boy. Her voice drawls you in like a siren outta a myth or somethin'. Then she'll kill you with her eyes. Heh, killer blues… The Silence protects us all, Tommy-boy. Remember that._

"Dad?"

            _Remember Tommy-boy._

            "I will come back for you."

            _Silence_.

**

            She was dizzy.

            Her vision was blurry.

            She felt like vomiting.

            And how many goddamn needles were stuck in her arm?

            "So dear, you going tell me what I want to know? Or do I have to keep inserting my friends into your beautiful, beautiful body."

            The bounds had been cut. The stupid man had know that she would been able to move after had inserted the drugs in her system.

            "Fuck you, asshole. That's what I've go to say."

            His foot connected into her stomach and she fell to the ground, gasping for air. The pain was nothing but a memory for her. Her life had been a kick in the gut. She coughed, blood pouring out of her mouth.

            "I'm sorry, what was that?"

            "Fuck. You. Asshole."

            His fist connected with her face and her head connected with the concrete. Even bleeding to death wasn't too appealing. She's always promise herself she'd go out with a bang, but this was getting ridiculous. She pushed both her hands under chest, readying herself to fight when necessary. 

            "I just want to know where the massive shipping base is. It's a simple question dear."

            _I don't think I can handle you kicking me in the fucking gut one more time, a-hole._  She nimbly traced the torn pieces of her shirt. _Six broken ribs and I can't-_

            "Well?"

            Vomit rose through her throat and this time she couldn't stop from coming out. 

_Sweat, blood, and the smell of rotting flesh… _

_Flesh, flesh, flesh… _

_Thursday, February 14… _

_Valentine's Day Massacre… _

_A.C 194. _

_Dead, dead, dead…_

            "Merian," a voice hissed in her ear. She moaned, a whirlwind of unnatural senses erupting in her body. "Merian, onna! Get up."

            She rolled over and tried to force her eyes open. Her success was limited however, when she found that her vision was still dark.

            "Can't-see."

            "I'm going to have to lift you up, onna."

            _Urgency._

_            I'm dead, dead, dead. _

_            Fei? Where are you Fei?_

"Wufei?"

            "Hai, onna. We're gettin' you outta of here."

            _Thundering footsteps._

_            Choices._

_            Too many damn choices!_

_            Can't stop to help you. Got too much of my own shit to worry about._

She could smell the outpouring of blood a mile away. "Did you kill him?" Her voice was soft and tired, the delirium finally getting to her. 

            There was no answer, just the faint sound of his breathing. Wufei crushed Merian to his chest, extracting a whimper. "Broken-broken, I have broken b-ones."

            "I know. Not much longer."

            "Fei…"

            _Blood._

_            Dead, dead, dead, dead._

_            I love you, Mer._

_            Dead, dead, dead, dead._

Suddenly, she was flung from comfort of Wufei's arms. 

            _Thud-thud- BANG._

_            Thud-BANG-thud._

The smell of blood crept its way over and invaded her senses. She could move. She couldn't speak. She couldn't breath.

            "Fei?"

            Silence.

            _Thud-BANG._

            "Wufei?"  
  


            _Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead._

_            I love you…_

"WUFEI!"

**


	20. Symphony In E Minor

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Author's Notes**: Hi guys! *singing* Happy anniversary to me! Happy anniversary to me! Thank for my reviews, I love them all. Anyhow, this has to be the most important chapter of the series. A lot of juicy stuff is going to be revealed in this chapter. All I'm going to say is that you thought last chapter was a *kicker*, think again.

My inspiration for this chapter comes from watching way too much Cowboy Bebop and Weiss Kruetz. Couldn't help it, you know. Aya and Spike are just too *cute*.

I want to clarify some things before I start the chapter. Wufei's dead, I'm sorry to say but he's dead. That's definitely important because the way he *died* is crucial to the story. He's the first, but not the last. Another thing, I want to know how many people hate Micah. I think he's a bastard, but I'm curious to know what the rest of you think of him. That's it for now, so enjoy this chapter!

**Disclaimer**: Gundam Wing belongs to its respective owners whose names I'm too lazy to type. Others belong to me, permission for use will be granted if asked.

**Warning**: This is kind of tiring. Look at the rating, if you can't handle the content of the story then don't read it. I won't be hurt. 

**

======================

Chapter 12: Symphony in E Minor 

======================

**_"_**_Inexperience, pride, and lack of understanding will be your downfall._

_And after today gentlemen, nothing will be the same again."_

_Sally Po, Wanders: Ascension, Karma_

            Being back in the hospital should have been a natural thing for all of them. Dorothy's eyes wandered around the small waiting room, watching her comrades or rather what was left of them. She sighed. Being in the hospital was different when it was one of your own. Her eyes narrowed as Alexi and Micah entered the room, Micah staring nervously. Son of a bitch better start praying Merian gets out of this alive. She wouldn't be the first to stake a claim in killing the guy.

            "Are you all right?"

            She glanced up to see Quatre sitting down next to her. She gave him a small smile. "You know you don't have to pretend anymore. Is it really him?"

            The look in his eyes was enough as Quatre leaned back into the plastic chair. It creaked loudly as he shifted towards her. His eyes closed. All of them were beginning to look older now. _It was inevitable anyhow. I only wish it didn't have to come like this._ She watched as Quatre ran a shaky hand through his ruffled blond hair. A soft sigh escaped her lips and he glanced at her, eyes knowing.

            "There will be time for that later," he spoke softly, fingers intertwining. "I-"

            "I understand. I just wish that there was something I could do. She's not going to be the same when she wakes up. She'll never be the _same_. She won't forgive herself."

            "He wanted to protect her. He would have wanted her to get through this."

            Dorothy shook her head. "The amount of drugs in her system not only will push her over the edge. She will be fully turned when she wakes up."

            "If she wakes up…"

            "She will wake up. Our bodies," Dorothy paused pointing to the three female pilots in the room. "Our bodies are immune to excessive amount of black market drugs. They were part of our so-called treatments when we were kids and depending on our initial purpose the maximum amounts would be distributed."

            "Oh my god," Quatre breathed. "They-they tested children."

            She shrugged. "The council had been under control by Micah's family. They'd been doing testing for years. They used him to get to Relena. I think a part of her knew his reasoning for getting involved with her that was the part that never really let him too close. But I also think that she loved him too. That's Re for ya, despite the fault she won't even harbor a feeling of indifference towards you. But now, Micah has no idea what's going to happen…"

            "Is she coming back?"

            "She always does. Relena always comes back."

**

            She kneeled in front of the couch before her careful not to wake his sleeping form. Her lips curved into a tiny smile as she brushed his coffee-colored bangs out of his face. _I'm home, I'm finally home_. A mumble from the man in front of her brought her out of her silent revere. She had work to do, but first she needed to allow herself one moment of some feeling.

            She jumped startled by the calloused hand that grabbed her wrist. Fortunately having some feeling also meant getting caught off guard. She unsuccessfully tried to pull away, but herself losing to the intensity of the blue eyes.

            "You came back," he whispered softly.

            She pushed herself up to sit beside him, eyes never leaving his own. She gently pulled her hand away from his grasp, tracing a ragged scar that went across his cheek. _Double slash_, she realized with astonishment and questioned him with her eyes.

            "The Un-"

            He silenced her with a finger. She closed her eyes and nodded. _We'll have time later. Things need to be attended to, especially wit the situation now._

            "I'm just glad you're back."

**

            He hadn't let go of Hilde after he had seen Wufei's body. The mangled form of the man that he had respected more than anyone else. Wufei had been a man that _was worth _lying his life down for. And it had ended with his _wife _so goddamn doped up, she was in a coma. _It's that fucker's fault_, he thought with a growl. _It's his goddamn fault that everyone's in this mess. We could have been_… He felt Hilde squeeze his hand in reassurance and a small way of saying to calm down. Anger at this moment would help at all, but he could get Wufei's mangled body out of his head.

            "We need to decide what we're all going to do."

            Everyone looked up startled, at the fact Micah would even dare to talk even more though that neither Catherine, Dorothy, or Hilde for that matter would speak. He heard Hilde let out a tired sigh and remembered what she had said to him on their way back to Jerusalem. _Things have gotten much worse, but I have to keep the perspective that I need to do whatever it takes to push myself out of this hell. For me, determination is my ultimate strength as well as my weakness._ He tightened his grip on Hilde, breathing into her hair. _Whatever it takes, huh?_

            "I don't think we can venture into that direction unless some light is shed into what the situation really is," a soft voice came from down the hall.

            Duo's eyes widened. Heero stood with his back to the wall and arms crossed at the chest. His bangs covered his eyes, but a scar the shape of a cross could be seen on his right cheek. He wore all black going back to that whole 'Hunters of the Night' theme Duo used to tease him when they were still working for the Preventers. But it was who was standing next to his former partner that made him lose his breath.

            Relena stood tall, stormy blue eyes fixed on the object of everyone's problem. _The Angel of Death… _Her long hair was tied by a green ribbon, cascading down her shoulder. She was in dark blue jeans with a black turtleneck, jacket draped over her arms. He shook his head. Heero and Relena were totally made for each other.

            "Relena…"

            She held up her hand, silencing him. This was a different Relena. Confident, poised, elegant, he knew that he was staring at the most dangerous Jitsatsu known. Duo could feel the sparks flying from her. She was ready to set Micah on fire.

            "I think you know what I'm going to say."

            Micah stepped forward. "What no greeting? Didn't our relationship mean something to you?"

            It was like seeing two different time periods melt together. Relena's presence was cold, but at the same time sad.  Micah was looking more and more like a lost boy.

            "A long time ago, you and I could have had something. But it didn't happen so we're back to the start," Relena began softly. "Now you are nothing but a man with a dying cause. Your obsession has taken its manifestation too far."

            Micah's eyes widened. "I don't understand. You're making no sense whatsoever."

            "You do understand," Heero spoke up, pushing off the wall. He placed a hand on Relena's shoulder. Duo shook his head and tightened his grip on Hilde. He knew and understood when a man placed his claim on a woman.

            Relena's eyes soften, but turned cold when she looked back at Micah. "Power corrupts us, remember? Your obsession has taken you too far. Isn't that why you've enlisted the help of Thomas Larson? Lies won't help you now."

            The man backed up as Relena continued. "Larson was all too happy to help you. He found you a lost Alexi, while he also planted the idea in my head back when I was still in politics that I was only meant to carry an ideal. You made sure that I was willing to stray back.  You made sure that we all would stray back to the Underground, but what you didn't expect was what or who for that matter would we bring back. Your assumptions were what led and is still leading you to defeat."

            "How-"

            "You're a dishonorable man." Everyone turned to the doorway to see Merian gripping the door. The hospital sheets were wrapped around her body, bandages falling loosely around her wounds, blood dripping down from where her IV needles had been. Her eyes were blazing with an amazing blaze of anger.

            "You're a dishonorable man and a fool," Merian repeated, falling to her knees into Catherine's arms. Duo shivered as he watched the woman keep her gaze onto Micah. He was cornered.

            "You won't die today, _gaki_. But your blood will be on my hands when we meet on the battle field."

            All Micah could do was turn and leave. The final resurrections were complete. The fool would have never left the hospital alive. It was a unnerving experience when you had two of the most fearsome Jitsatsu pilots wanting your blood.

            _Welcome Silence._

_            Welcome Warrior._

_            Welcome Home._

**    

            

**Notes/References**: There's going to be an interlude after this so I can explain some things that went on in this chapter. First off, Heero's newly acquired scar is a tribute to Rurouni Kenshin, my new love. ;;^^ He was off doing something, while the meeting in the last chapter was going on. Explained next chapter, so don't worry. I thought Heero would be hot with a scar anyway.

The villain situation will have to still remain a mystery for a little longer. It's a lot more complicated then you think… And *pouts* I didn't mean to turn Micah into such a bastard, but oh well. 

More will be revealed about what Relena was actually doing and where she was. I promised that I'd tell since everyone was so concerned she wasn't coming back. Heero and Relena's relationship will be steppin' up a degree as well.

*crosses arms* Again Wufei's dead and he's going to stay dead. I'm sucker for happy endings, but *not* all stories require happy endings. Don't expect everyone to make it out alive…

**Special Thanks**: Thank you to Starlight-oneechan for beta reading. I tormented you long enough, eh? 


	21. I Found Purgatory

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Disclaimer**: I don't claim any ownership to GW. Obviously if you're reading this story then you *do* know what would have happen if I had any say…

**Warning**: You think I'd get tired of putting these up… There's blood, gore, suggested *adult* situations, as well as the usual angst… And in this interlude there's a harmless spurge of fluff. See if you can find it. *grins* I dare ya.

**Dedication**: Once again, thank you all for making me a happy little offer. To Ani-chan, *shakes head* you always have the most interesting reviews. To oneechan, thanks *winks* for finally e-mailing me. And to my twin star Starlight-oneechan , you're just too *cool* dear.

**Special Thanks: **Thank you to all those who have been staying loyal to the story since day one, especially to Silver Wing, Crystal, and everyone else who I can't remember. It means a lot to me. Also to Starlight-oneechan for beta reading this crazy stuff, thank you dear.

See End for Notes… _Thoughts are indicated in Italic,_ **Flashbacks are in Bold**

========================

     Chapter 13: I Found Purgatory

========================

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.

_Christopher Marlowe_

            She found him outside in the balcony to the nurses' station, overlooking the miniature gardens. He stood with her back to her, hands gripping the cool metal bar of the edge. Heero had changed, she could feel the energy around him. Conflict, hardship, pick any one. She could feel the despair radiating from his body. She had heard about Noventa's death, news traveling fast. But she couldn't understand why he had-

            "I did it so I could understand you when you returned."

            She said nothing, eyes watching him. Taller, leaner, his eyes were now a piercing blue almost like a tiger stalking it's prey. She being the prey. She reached out, taking his hand in hers. Her long slender fingers traced over the calluses and cuts. _He took up the sword_. Her eyes met his. _For me, he went back to learn the sword. Why?_

            "You know why, Relena."

            She sighed, bringing his hand to her cheek. Jagged against silk, his fingers moved in a caress of small circles. Her eyes closed. Their relationship had always been different then other. Always highly dependent on the emotions that surrounded them, but now it was different. Now, it was like a primal need for her to be near Heero. Possession, she belong to him as he belonged to her. Basic need.

            She looked up. "I know why you went Heero, but-"

            "It wouldn't have been fair. We would have been at two different levels if we were to continue. I need to understand myself, so that I would be willing and ready for you when you came back."

            "But was this-" She paused, her hand reached up to his cheek, tracing the crisscrossed scar. She felt him ease at her touch. In the back of her mind, she understood and even knew what he had done. _But_…

            "Was it worth it?"

**"Again."**

**Blood was dripping down the palms of his hand as he picked up the katana once more. _Determination must be a strength. I have to get through this. For me. For Relena_. He planted his feet firmly onto the ground and shut his eyes, reenergizing the feel of battle in himself.**

**"Again, boy. Do you want to accept failure?"**

**"Iie," he hissed. "I cannot accept any form of failure."**

**"Good."**

**And once more the clashes of the swords began.**

"There was a man in Japan, a kind old man with a unrelinquishing spirit. He was a swordsman long before the war. He taught those who wanted to learn old customs, mainly boys who wanted more meaning in their lives. But with me, it was different… With me it was teaching the concept of *living*."

"The sword is a life of honor. You must really love this girl to take it upon yourself, boy."

**He nodded, fingering the newly applied bandages to his palms. His eyes closed as  thoughts of Relena invaded his mind. Where was she? How long would he have to wait?**

**"Patience isn't called a virtue for nothing, baka. Just remember one simple thing. You've accepted her and what she may become, but you need to also accept the fact that you too are changing. Keep this question close to your heart. Would you do *absolutely* anything for her?"**

**His blue eyes narrowed. "Anything and everything."**

"You've protected me long enough, Relena. Let me be the one to protect you."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes. "Even if I said no, you'd do it regardless. So what does my answer matter anyway?"

"It matters to me," Heero whispered, fingers tangling themselves in her hair. He pulled the ribbon lose, her hair falling around her shoulders.

"You think you're in love with my hair at this rate."

"Koi…," he growled.

**"Then love her, you fool. Love her like you haven't love anyone before. Not everyone gets a chance like you have. Do not let it slip through your fingers… Regret is only but a weakness for a warrior…"**

For a brief moment, the two looked nothing more than a pair of young lovers. No pain, no guilt, just the two of them alone. For a brief moment, they could be free…

"Behind every strong man, there's an even stronger woman…" 

**

 "You can't hide in here forever."

Merian rolled her head over on the pillow, eyes meeting the smoky-violet eyes of Catherine. The other woman sat beside her bed, fingering a knife.

            "You're a satanic bitch. Obviously, I can't move. Remember, I pulled the goddamn needles out to give the son-of-bitch a piece of my mind."

            Catherine rolled her eyes. "I still think that you're hiding in here. It doesn't take _this_ long to recover. You and I both know that. Chang's dead. Except it and face the facts."

            Merian hissed, pushing herself up on one arm and ignoring the screeching pain. Nothing mattered anymore. "Do think I should dishonor my husband and just go ahead and kill every bastard that's robbed someone of _life_." She watched as Catherine moved the knife in front of her, the silver blade taunting her ruthlessly. She felt her fingers began to flex, slowly moving towards the other woman's outstretched hand.

            "Take it and end it. There's no reason for you to be here if you're going to feel sorry for yourself."

            She said nothing.

            "Take it, Mer. Take it, that's all ya gotta do."

            _End it. What does it matter?_

"Take it."

            _He's gone. Normalcy is gone. What do I have left?_

"Just take-"

            She grabbed the knife and slammed into the night table beside her bed, pieces of wood shooting out. She looked down at her hands, blood trickling down her palms from a new cut that was formed.

            "Good."

            Merian's eyes blazed with anger when Catherine nodded her head in satisfaction. _What the fuck is she-?_ Catherine stood and headed for the door.

            "We're in a war, remember that. Mourning is at the end."

            _Blood will be shed_.

**

            "This is how you do recruiting?"

            Dorothy rolled her eyes, cursing at the son of a bitch who had stuck her on a recruiting mission with Maxwell. She nodded and watched as he scowled.

            "I could be-"

            "Having wild, passionate monkey-love with one of my best friends? Please."

            "Quatre not giving you any?"

            She smacked him. "I swear you act like you're fucking four! Sit down and shut up." Her eyes wandered around the loud bar, looking for any faces she could recognize. _This is the last time I let Doc. talk me into a recruiting mission. This is bullshit._ Her eyes widened in recognition and her lips curved into a feral smile.

            "Maxwell…"

            The pilot of Gundam model 02 shrunk back into his seat.

            "Ah, hell no…"

**

**Author's Notes/References:**

            Okay, so I lied. It's not an interlude, it's the next chapter. But it was with all good intent. I got to thinking and well, an interlude wouldn't fit right about now. *holds hands in the air* You'll find out how Heero got the scar, I promise. I'm going to do one of those pre-battle hang out chappies. You'll find out!

            Another thing, Heero and Relena are in love. Just want to make that clear, I'm not going to kill either of them. *crosses arms at chest and humphs* Especially not Heero, that comments for you Ani-chan. So again, neither of them are going to die. And while on the subject of who's gonna die next, thanks for all the interesting comments and e-mails 'cause they make my day. *shakes head* And please people, the threats don't work on me. I *will* kill whoever's next.

            I didn't mean for Catherine to be like a heartless bitch, it's part of the personality. Merian at that point wasn't fully turned until she was forced to face her problems/fears head on. She was being a bit of a coward understandably, but then again she had every right to be. Cat was just, well pushing her a little bit.

            The _Rurouni Kenshin_  references will be explained in the next interlude. I promise you won't have to wait much longer, but this is the way it's going to be with the direction I'm taking.

            E-mails, reviews and other comments are welcomed. Oh and 'neechan, go right ahead with your idea I'll be waiting.


	22. Lose Me

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Disclaimer**: I refuse to write another one. You just can't *make* me. I've done it for the last- as long as I've been writing Wanders. Enough is enough. Screw the Disclaimer!

**Dedication**: To my girls, oneechan, Ani-chan, and Starlight-oneechan. I love you all. And Oneechan, you're good to go.

**Warning**: Blood. That's all. I'm going to say. Violence, gore, suggestive themes, suicidal themes, and *lots* of angry people. Fun story, ain't it.

**

Chapter 14: Lose Me

The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love

Unknown

            It was strange meeting Trowa Barton like this. Hilde bit her lip, watching as the older man sat down before her. She'd already conversed with Yuy, Quatre, and Wufei. But with Barton it was like he was a shadow trying to avoid the light. _I guess since Wufei's death, the time for confession is ready to start_.

            "Heard you talked to your girlfriend. How is-"

            His lips turned into a small smile. "Midii," Trowa spoke softly. "Her name is Midii and she's fine, just worried."

            Hilde nodded, shutting her computer off. "You want to know something, am I right? Something that has do with how Cat's been acting."

            "She's turned isn't she?"

            Hilde stood up and walked to the window, watching the clouds come in. Storms in Israel were brutal, but at the same time amazing to watch. A small sigh escaped her lips.

            "Yes, she's turned. But to a different degree. Not only that,  we've lost her completely."

            Trowa moved forward, causing her to shake her head. _Darkness always strays the forged path_. She gave him a tiny smile. "I admire your persistence, but if Catherine's gonna come back to us it's gotta be on her own."

            "I don't understand has she betrayed you in anyway?"

            Hilde turned, eyes searching Trowa's. "You're a smart man, Barton." She watched the lightening hit the sky. Again. And Again. Turmoil. Pain. Again. And Again. There was one reason why Catherine had been code-named Darkness. And there was one reason why she was completely unpredictable in these specific situation.

            "Darkness strays," she spoke softly. "And as much as we want to avoid it, it's always been inevitable. Classic. Karma. I can give you every reason in the book. This was going to happen sooner or later."

            "Non-avoidable," he whispered.

            She nodded sadly. "Completely non-avoidable."

            _I'm sorry_.

**

            "You want me to talk to _that_?"

            Dorothy chuckled and shook her head at Maxwell's opened mouth. She gave a nod at the Bartender from their seats across the room. "_That_," she spoke. "That _woman _happens to be the best shooter in the goddamn city. In fact dear sir, she happens to be the best shooter on William's sect on _L2_."

            "There's no way in hell that _thing_ is a woman."

            "Maxwell, just go and get her to come over here."

            "I still don't see why you can't do it. She-she's hairy, damn it!"

            "Go," she growled, pushing him towards the bar. She sighed and turned to the window, watching the rain hit the glass. _What happens now? We'll recruit and start fighting. The war will be stopped. Everybody will go home and be happy, but then what? Our lives have been carried by these emotions for so long, what will happen when the cycle starts again?_

            She sipped her beer. _The game has yet to really begin._

** 

"Where's Heero?"

            Relena said nothing as Catherine entered her room, sitting in one of the chairs across from the bed she was occupying. She pulled out her knife, bouncing it from palm to palm. The other woman continued to ignore her, rummaging through a bag in front of her. Catherine's lips curved into a feral smile.

            "I'm asking you a question."

            "And I'm choosing not to answer, love."

            Catherine leaned forward, knife still in hand. Hilde had remarked once that she was too attached to the damn thing, almost like they were cigarettes or something. She smirked. With better reason though.

            "I meant to talk to you, you know. About the thing with Micah in the hallway, but you and _Heero went off," she spat._

            Relena shook her head, pulling out a ribbon-bound notebook. Catherine stepped back slowly. Relena's demeanor was calm and unwavering, and it was beginning to unnerve her. _Maybe I miscalculated the situation in itself. She was always the hardest of us to read and understand, unlike Merian who __you could get underneath her skin in a matter of moments. With Mer, it's like flipping a switch._

_            "Don't pick fights, you can't handle," Relena spoke quietly. Catherine watched in fascination as the other woman slowly flipped through the book. Black ink, red ink, black ink, blue ink, memories as paint and as mere pieces of paper. That's all there was to it, in a manner of speaking._

            _Oh, I can handle you little one. I can handle you just fine. She watched as Relena got up and placed the small notebook on top the television. Relena's hands were as pale as the moonlight compared to the blackness of the television. As if she were a ghost._

            "I'm not trying-"

            "Of course you're not," Relena cut her off, back still turned to her with her long fingers dancing atop of the notebook she still grasped in her hands. "You wondering if you have the opportunity to push me to my brink much like you did to Merian, isn't how this is? Are you waiting for that one moment where I'm completely vulnerable so that I'll grab that goddamn knife and shove it up my artery? Is that how it works?"

            "R-"

            She shook her head. "Aren't you forgetting something? Aren't forgetting why Merian and I were the last to turn? Please tell me you didn't, because if you did then right here, right now I'm losing all respect that I have for you."

            Catherine closed her eyes, trying will all her memories into sequence. Nothing. "I can't do this Rel. It's not far that you can _be happy_."

            She watched as Relena's shoulders tensed. "You think I'm happy? You think I'm happy being _like this_?" Catherine's eyes widened, her breathing shallow. Her eyes wandered down to her arm, the knife stuck in the side of her hand. Blood began to seep out slowly onto the table, almost as if it were a paper towel absorbing a liquid mess. 

            "You and Merian, especially _you_, were the last because of your capabilities," she whispered. "Both of you had strong spirits, nearly unbreakable, and broken you could carry out orders. Your spirits were why and how you've survived this long. But what the council didn't know was that they never succeeded and they still haven't. Merian and you can turn like a light switch."

            "And?" Relena turned the knife slowly and Catherine feared it would break right through her skin. Her lips began to tremble. 

            "I haven't succeeded."

            Relena's grip loosened on the knife handle. _Oh god. _Catherine's eyes met Relena's. Dark indigo swirls reminded her of the jewels her grandfather had used for carving before the war. Dangerous, mysterious, she began making a list of adjectives in her head to describe what Relena stood for. She watched as the other woman step back, eyes never leaving her own.

            _Silence. I am looking at Silence_.

            "Whatever deal you're in the process of making or are still making, make sure it ends now. _We're in a war_," Relena mocked.

            She closed her eyes and heard the door slam.

            _She knows._

**

**Author's Notes/Ramblings**:

            Okay people I'm going to say this once and only once again. Wufei is dead. It's a simple concept. He need to die for the story to go in its intended direction. No more mail about Wufei, please. Otherwise I'll take even longer to post. I don't want to punish my reviewers, but you've put me in this position. The guy's dead, all right?

            Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this part. I was bored in Lit and this a product of it. It's amazing though that it came out the way I wanted it. *shakes head* Stranger things have happened you know. Future warning, I'm getting ahead of myself but in terms of context the story is going to get depression. A whole hell of a lot more *depressing*. And bloody. And gory. Exciting, huh?

            Interlude *will* undoubtedly be coming next. I promised to clear up the Heero/Japan issue and it'll revolve on nothing but that. You just don't know how I'm going to do it. And while on the topics of interludes, there are three left. I'll talk about them more in the future.

            Keep reading and reviewing! 


	23. Bittersweet

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato 

By Eve

**Warning**: Take a guess…

****

**Disclaimer**: See the way beginning of the story… That means that you all pick lawyers have to move on back to Chapter One of Book one to read it. ^_^

**Dedication**: To everybody this time, thank you for being such faithful reviewers. Today, (3/24) is the seven month anniversary of Book Two!

*_Mini-Authors notes~ Hiya, guys. Just want to let you know that I'm glad everyone liked the new twist I had. It was completely last minute, but if you liked it I can't complain. Rest of the notes are at the end._

_Italics: thoughts_

_/Italics/: flashbacks_

=====================

Chapter 15: Bittersweet 

_You're not the only one who feels this way._

Ammonia 

            "Catherine's gone."

            Hilde's voice was empty. It carried no remorse, but slightest hint of sympathy.  They had been expecting this, not this soon though. In the back of her mind, Relena knew that regardless of whatever path they had been geared towards history would somehow manage to repeat itself regardless of the form. Relena closed her eyes.

            "It was inevitable," she responded softly. 

            "But this soon?"

            "It wouldn't have matter the time or place. You this as well as I do, love. She'll come back, she always does."

            Hilde sat across from her atop the window sill, a sigh escaping her lips. "Dead or alive is the question we'll have to wait for an answer though?"

            Relena nodded, gaze landing on the blood-covered knife that lay on top of the wooden bureau. She could picture Catherine's terror-stricken expression in the back of her mind. Soon Catherine was replaced by others, ghost who have still decided to follow her from the grave.

            "It's a part of ourselves that we cannot escape," Hilde spoke, cutting into her thoughts. "You know as well as I do that we can never escape the onslaught of our pasts. I have ghost, you have ghost, we all deal with them in different ways. But do not start blaming yourself for the path and for Catherine's leave. What happened, happen chiquita. She made the choice herself."

            // _Merian and you can turn like a light switch._ //

            _Yes that is true, love_. Her eyes turned to the multi-colored sky. It would be dark soon and time for another meeting with the council. _But Merian and I are both haunted by more demons then you can keep up with. That is a fact to keep in mind._

"So," Hilde began, slapping her hands on her knees. An ear-to-ear grin spread across her lips, but never reached her eyes. She grabbed her friend's arm and pulled her up to her feet. Relena chuckled.

            "Never seen you this enthusiastic about a council meeting."

            "And I still plan to never ever be."

            Relena's laughter rang through the halls as the two ran giggling towards their destination. Another moment was spared. 

            Just how many more were allowed to slip through?

**

            "You won't find her."

            Trowa paused mid-packing, Merian's voice floating within the confined space of the room. She stood, leaning against the doorway with her eyes shut. She wore a traditional Chinese fighting gi, brilliant colors of yellow, green, and orange contrasting with the darkness of her very soul. In his honest opinion, Merian was the strangest and yet the most mysterious out of all of them. He shook his head. "I must, I owe her that much."

            "You still won't find her, Trowa. She covers her tracks not only very well, but you'll be killed if you follow her."

            "Is it some much to ask any of you for any ounce of concern for her?"

             "Nope."

            "Any at all?"

            "It's a hopeless conversation we got going here," Merian responded. He met her overpowering gaze. 

Drowning, drowning, drowning… 

Is this how Wufei felt when he looked into her piercing green eyes? 

Strength, courage, pain…

            // _"She was an amazing woman, Barton. Almost impenetrable, but she had her moments. She made me realize that fighting for what you wanted was okay. But she also taught me that there is a difference between the right moment and the wrong. She had so much to offer._ //

            He dropped the shirt he had held in mid-air. It fell gently to the ground without making even the slightest of noises. 

            "Come on, circus-boy. We have meeting to make an appearance at."

            // _She was crying again. Tenth time that night, eighteenth that week… He didn't understand how one relationship could be that profound._ //

            Her hand was outstretched, offering, beckoning for him to take it and follow. 

One step backwards, two steps forward…

// _Midii's eyes looked at him with so much trust and love, he almost felt------giddy? He brushed a stray hair out of her beautiful face._

_            "Take the plunge, Trowa." _//

He took her hand.

**

            "I want you to go back."

            Stop. "But I can't. They've already figured out what-"

            "I want you to go back, Natia. I want you to fight. We will deal with the new problem when there is time. Understand?"

            Silence. Go. "Yes."

            "I'm not asking you to like it, Natia. Just follow orders."

            Go. Stop. Pause. Disappear. Darkness.

            "Follow her Alexi. Make sure that there are no more misunderstandings."

**

**Author's Ramblings**:

            Bunch of stuff to take care of folks. From April 1-7, I will be in San Francisco on vacation with my *adoring* family. I will try to get out a posting before then, but I can't guarantee it. I have a bunch of research paper stuff to do as well. -_- It'll take a miracle for me to be able to get to a computer on vacation, let alone avoid my paper. I've been procrastinating too damn long anyway.

            I know I promised an interlude, but again with the new twist it might happened closer to the end. You will find out about what happened to Heero and Relena even if it means an extra chapter.

            The question of the girls' mechas seem to be a favorite in my e-mail, nowadays. They do exist, mind you, but you won't see them until the actual pre-battle and as soon as I get my hands on the new Kenshin DVD. I'm going to cry if they don't have it again…

            Question, comments, review or e-mail. It's your choice and I'm with either or even both.   


	24. And the Oscar Goes too...

No this isn't the next chapter, that's coming after this on the list. This is actually more of a massive warning and explanation for the time issue.

Fuuma: She was on vacation. 

*growls* Nobody asked you to say anything, baka. Don't you have the world to torture or something? *Anyway*… I've been pretty busy. Obviously I was in San Francisco for a week, but then when I came back from break I was literally swamped with school.

Fuuma: Excuses, excuses. 

Let me reiterate, baka. I did not ask you to be my commentary, so shut up! And besides, you're just bitter about me putting the crossover on hold and writing a Rurouni Kenshin fic.

Fuuma: -_-

See? What did I tell you? So I can give you all the personal reasons, but the most important reason is the story itself. This is my baby, my pride and joy. And with five chapters left, I wanted to shock you all into a coma. Unfortunately, I didn't like the original way I had plan

I decided to take a break, which in the end helped me out immensely. I ventured into new animes, everything from X to Rurouni Kenshin and Mars to Marmalade Boy and Berserk. I can now say I have a very eclectic taste. ^_~

And now for the warning part. 

If you ask anyone of my closest friends, I'm famous for changing my mind. Obviously since I've changed my mind in this story too much to count. But ladies and gents, these last five chapters will blow you away.

**You won't know what hit you.**

I've always been particular fascinated by human emotions and character interactions, so they play a huge part in every one of my stories. I've just taken my writing up a notch. 

A *very* big notch.

There will be the usual blood and gore with the action and the violence. There's the occasional WAFF and romantic parts. But my dear readers, there's a lot of self-torture and self-hatred. There's a long to calm the insanity. Happiness will be split apart. More people will die.

So in conclusion, thank you for your support. Thank you for reading and proceed with major caution. I would not recommend at all anyone under the age of sixteen reading this with the exception of Ani-imouto because I know she can handle it. The final five chapters are incredibly disturbing. You will feel like losing your lunch at certain points.

Please, please, please heed this warning.

And if you're brave enough do read on.

I guarantee a ride.


	25. Before I'm Dead

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

****

Warning:See the extra special note I left before this chapter. Otherwise, I think you're all intelligent enough to guess.

****

Disclaimer: Um, lame?

****

Dedication: To all my readers, especially my three girls, 'neechan (ever heard of e-mail? ^^), Starlight-oneechan, and my personal favorite imouto, this is all for you.

__

*Mini-mini Author's Note~ I just felt like putting this in, you know. Maybe I'll talk afterwards, maybe I won't. I'm in such a chipper mood with two weeks of school left. I'm just beaming from ear to ear. Just a word to the wise, again, be prepared to be shocked…

__

Italics- thoughts

//Italics//- flashbacks

================

Chapter 16: Before I'm Dead

================

__

Night consumes light and all I dread

It reminds me what do before I'm dead

Kidney Thieves 

"So, we've been lied to all this time is what you are saying."

Bitter words were the best response he had gotten all day. His eyes searched around the room, falling at the ten seats before him. He shook his head. Two casualties, one completely fatal and the other—Well, the other had been expected for the most part. Charles closed his eyes. He truly felt like an old man today.

"Yes and no," he replied softly, earning a snort from the most outspoken of the group. Hilde had obviously stepped into the role today. He sighed. It wasn't like he could explain the actual situation to them without fearing his life. If they only knew how out of control the present situation was. Death was a far better fate than what he was about to face.

"I really don't understand how you can do both. But then again, maybe it's me," Hilde spoke, voice laced with venom.

"Just tell them Charles," Emma murmered quietly from the corner. He watched as Dorothy shot an accusatory glance at the woman she called a friend, a mentor, and even at times a mother. He looked for a reaction from both Relena and Merian, but to no avail and ironically, none to his surprise, neither made no comment.

He let out a shaky sigh, pressing his fingers against his forehead and rubbing in small circles. He had lost his wife and his grandson in Berlin, yesterday. He didn't know how much more he could take. It was as if the war or whatever they called it now was driving each and everyone of them insane.

Slowly…

…and painfully…

The ever present taunts…

…now or forever hold your peace…

"We've been trying to put a stop to Larson's cause for the last four to five years. The man has some very, very close connections with the Underground and used every resource to his advantage. The Eve Wars, the Barton Faction were all due to our inherent stupidity and inability to actually admit defeat. We acted like children trying to hide a broken vase from our mother."

Merian leaned forward, eyes closed tightly. She spoke in an eerie whisper. "You mean to tell us that when this could have been prevented, you figured that you could take care of it with complete ease? You'd think you'd learn after the stunts the Alliance pulled or even the Blood War for---God, I can't even talk to you without wanting to kill you all. And the real kicker here," she paused, leaning back in her chair. "The real kicker is that you have at least made someone lose their sanity, die, and---or try to kill themselves all in a couple months. _Un contratto soltanto rotto dalla Morte. _Irony is a real bitch."

He watched in horror as the Chinese woman slammed her hand atop the table and stood up to leave. Trowa Barton, the Heavyarms pilot, stood to follow and didn't even glance back. This was the way they were handling this… This was what they decided?

_Un contratto soltanto rotto dalla Morte._

"Well, this was just useful as always," Hilde finally said, breaking the silence. She gave Duo a half smile. "Let's go, mi amour. Places to go, mechas to go dust off. We got us a battle to go fight."

Duo nodded and followed Hilde like a wolf stalking it's prey. Relationships were bound to be broken. He turned to give Charles a look, causing the old man to shrink back unconsciously. Should Death prevail? Both Dorothy and Quatre soon followed without looking back with so much of a glance.

"Well," Charles started, expecting a comment from Relena and Heero with all the others making some form of contribution to the very, very _successful_ meeting they had. Relena shrugged, the strap of her tank-top slipping down her slim shoulder. He watched with avid interest as Yuy reached out and brushed the strap back up. It was amazing how one simple gesture could be so…so intimate. Charles coughed and Emma raised an eyebrow.

"We have a war to fight," he began.

Relena turned. "And we, we have lives to live."

** 

_A contract only broken by death._

"You forged your name in blood, my dear. Do you really think that you could go back on your word when we have come this far?"

They've put her on a suicide mission.

Broken…

…tainted and worn…

She bit back a violent scream as the almost unbearable pain began to travel through the confines of her body. Blood trickled down her forehead and her arms mixing with the sweat and dirt from the intensity of the tests she had to be reinstated through.

_Un contratto soltanto rotto dalla Morte._

"You know that it wasn't your capabilities that were questioned. You exceed far beyond the normal, but it was your loyalty that was in question."

Her sanity was slipping…

…fast and far…

-far beyond the norm-

Exceeding all possibilities…

…betrayal…

The pain began to slow and eventually lose all purpose. She had been trained to take it, not matter how big the essential amount. The hollowness began to seep throughout her entire body. She was falling into a path of familiarity. A hand rose to grip the knife, her teeth clamping shut to prevent another bone-chilling scream.

"You are one of us, child. Bound by blood, you know."

Useless…

…always useless…

"Never," she hissed.

_Un contratto soltanto rotto dalla Morte._

"You haven't got a choice, child."

**

_Choices are never simple._

You can never fly away.

"All of us could end this right now, you know," she whispered as he walked in. She rubbed her hands over her arms and stepped closer to the window.

"In fact it seems like we could have ended this a long time ago!"

He said nothing, leaning against the wall and waiting for her to continue. Merian's eyes widened. _He's going to listen to me?_ She sighed, pressing her hands against the ledge so hard that her knuckles began to turn red.

"I'm a widow because of someone's stupidity," she hissed, tears threatening to fall. "I'm a widow because my husband in an honest attempt to save my _life_, was not warned about the apparent dangerous. The fact alone that you're here is dangerous. The people you love and care for are _guilty by association_. You don't realize how bad everything really is…"

// "_They want me to ignore my responsibilities to the program in itself and get married? I can't do that. It goes against my moral principles."_

Doc sighed. "It's for your own good, Merian."

"So good that I get to place an innocent life in the hands of a mass killer." //

"They're no better than you or I," Trowa whispered, putting a hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "How are---How is it dealt with when something to this magnitude is pulled. Merian's eyes darkened.

"We cope."

**

You can't escape the cycle of fate.

guilty-guilty-guilty

Click—click

B o o m

_All good things must come to an end._

Cl—ick---cli-c-k

B o o m

He loves me.

Is that enough?

CLICK-click

B oo oo m

"It's amazing how one conversation can piss the bloody hell out of one person. Am I right, _love_?"

Her breathing was becoming heavy and her body was beginning to shake. Images from previous battles began to seep into her mind. 

The voices…

…a past…

_Behind-through-forever_

Fall, fall, fall apart!

CLICK-CLICK

BOOM!

"I didn't ask you to come," she hissed. "I didn't ask for you to come and torture me from beyond the grave, Micah. So why pick me to take all your vengeful anger out on?"

"You are a fool, Relena." Micah stepped into the light, his eyes narrowed and ready for whatever argument that was to come.

click-click

b o o m

"For what? Not staying _eternally _devoted to a man who had done nothing but break my heart time and time again? Or wait, it gets better… How about for falling in love with someone who prides on acceptance of himself and the ones around him. He's not a coward like you."

CLICK----CLICK

B Oo M

_Dry those tear, little one…_

A smile day keeps the frowns away-

-dying, hurts-

We bleed…

…we cry…

"I will win this," he started. She raised her gun, her eyes wide and clear. A strand of her golden-brown hair fell against an alabaster cheek. She was a woman with many faces.

_Resistance is futile._

B 

L

O

O

D

CLICK-Click

"You wouldn't dare-"

_The truth hurts._

Dead, dead, dead.

When will it all end?

"Try me," she hissed.

B o o m.

**

I'm going to end this now and split the chapter up as a last minute decision. *frowns* If I go on, I can basically end the story in long chapter. And well, what fun would that be? So technically it's six until the end.

Once again, I do apologize for not updating but I got soooooooo busy with school and family. And just everything. So hopefully, this will go out with a bang…

*twirly eyes* I'm making myself dizzy…

Review and maybe, I'll give a tiny, tiny preview to the oh-so wonderful sequel!


	26. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

****

Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato

By Eve

****

WARNING: *rolls eyes* really, don't ya think it's a basic waste of time? I mean come one, read the whole story chapter by chapter and I guarantee uneasiness in the stomach area. No one under seventeen who can't handle explicit use of violence should be reading this. Don't pull a Jackass and jump off your roof. Pulling anything off in this story will give you the title of supreme moron. Thank you for listening to this public service announcement.

****

DISCLAIMER: *pulls out the Twilight Zone theme* Gundam Wing belongs to me… ^__^

****

DEDICATION: Since I haven't reached the Oscars yet, you're going to have to settle for the good old fashion thank yous from lil' ol' me. Starlight-oneechan, Ani-imouto, and oneechan for the constant support and love and all the good "positive" feelings. Everyone else, thank you for reading.

__

Short AN: All right, I promise I won't talk for long. _I want to apologize for any queasy stomachs that I might cause. The X-Files and French homework don't mix as you'll soon find out. And plus imouto thinks I'm just positively charming… Glad I can be such a wonderful influence on you, dear. ^__^ As a little request of the sorts, is there anyone willing to draw me some fanart? I'm really interested to see the readers depiction of what the characters look like in their own minds… Just let me know. *stops rambling* Enjoy!_

=====================================

Chapter Seventeen:Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

====================================

__

Thus I am banished from my bliss

By craft and false pretense,

Faultless without offense

And of return no certainty is,

And all for the love of one.

Anonymous

Italics—[thoughts]

//Italics//---[flashbacks]

//"_It takes one great man, to create a great change among nations. And it takes one great sacrifice, to make it permanent._"// Harrington had been a bitter old man. Years of his ideas and his philosophies being down played over and over again had caused him to take firm action against those who didn't even think twice to accept him, those being everyone. And now he too was slowly beginning to follow the footsteps of is predecessor.

Larson sighed, making his way down the dark corridor to his personal office. He needed a break from the meeting. They had attacked Brussels, Paris, parts of Romania, Moscow, Sydney--- it just seemed like now, and they were killing people for just the sake of killing people. There had to be a purpose amongst this power struggle. The struggle that he himself had every hand in starting. 

//"_Woe is the tragic hero. Do not let yourself fall to the clutches of reinstating yourself as a man. That was my one and only mistake. Succeed where I have failed._"//

What was the use to any of this anymore? The very purpose that had driven him to stand was only leading to fall. And the scariest concept of it all was that he didn't have any cushion to fall on. He closed his eyes as he reached his door. 

Bravery is for fools…

…only cowards step into conflict head on…

Darkness greeted him as he entered the room, fumbling for the light switch. He paused, hand in mid-air, the smell of human flesh invading his senses. It filled his lungs and could feel his muscles forcing the bile up his throat.

//"_Control the battle field, young man. But beware, just because you are not surrounded by the actual fighting doesn't mean that you are not near the war._"//

Woe is the tragic hero…

…Solely convinced that the injustice was done against him…

-He is a FOOL-

Larson gripped the door, his hands searching for the light. It didn't help that it was night either, the glow of the nighttime lights had barely allowed him to reach his office in one piece. He let out a frustrated sigh.

"GODDAMNIT!"

…a fool…

He slammed his hand against the wall, pain searing through his skin. The lights flashed on and he felt himself stop breathing altogether.

//"_Trust no one, but yourself. Surround your being by all your enemies and let your friends know nothing about your life._"//

-Be—in—Control-

_thump-thump-thump-thump_

A severely disfigured body hung from the ceiling fan in his office. He pushed himself off the doorway, grabbing for anything that could hold him up to steady himself.

Apathy?

Two bullet holes to the side of the neck with the shirt torn in several places. 

_thump-thump-thump-thump_

No apathy…

…no hatred, no love, no hope…

-NO PLAN-

_The blood's still fresh_, he realized, sliding to the ground. His knees hurt like hell. The room was spinning. He could hear the voices in his head screaming and crying, crying and screaming.

Mother…

…father, my mentor…

There were no eyes in the sockets of the body, but he felt the chilling stare. The facial expression were still contorted in the same way before the poor fool had died. He forced his eyes to look up and search for anything that would lead him to the person who had indeed done this.

//"_Trust no one, but yourself could be the greatest advice I could give you dear boy. But, but the most profound piece of advice is do not under any circumstance get yourself involved in a situation that you know in the back of your mind you can't get out of._"//

"I am a fool," he whispered crawling over to the body. He had pushed everything away and inside of him, ignorant of the fact that when the time came it would indeed consume him.

_Flames…_

His eyes widened, falling onto the neck of the body. A small tattoo on the right side was visible in the faint glow. 

_Moving flames, softly crying…_

At the foot of the body, lay a violet.

//"_Betrayal is something that they are trained to never tolerate. They kill if necessary._"//

And in front of the violet, carved into the hardwood floor were the words:

**Silence kills the messenger.**

**

"We're almost there," Dorothy called back to Quatre with a chuckle. Apparently, the Sandrock pilot had failed to mention that he wasn't exactly the most "in tuned" with nature. She sat down a top a large rock in the middle of their path uphill, waiting for Quatre to catch up.

_Fifty-four degrees to the right._

"This is what happens when you lose sight of yourself for awhile," she muttered, grabbing her water bottle out of her backpack. She chuckled as Quatre finally reached the rock she sat on. Her tracker beeped and she handed the drained man.

_North four miles._

"Bloody Allah."

She laughed. "Not exactly your cup of tea, mon cher?"

"Let me reiterate this for you, _bloody ALLAH_."

Dorothy shook her head, eyes wandering to the lake that lay beside the mountain. _Bitter memories_, she mused. _It's amazing how much I've actually forgotten. It's like a sick and twisted way of rediscovering myself._

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You already did," she shot back. Quatre rolled his eyes and handed her back the water bottle and turned her to face him. His hand crept up and down her arms giving her goosebumps despite the warm weather.

"I'm serious, Dorothy."

She sighed. "You want to know about our mechas, am I right?"

He nodded.

"Well, I guess for starts each of them are respectively named after a Greek goddess."

He looked at her oddly. "Specific reason?"

Dorothy shrugged, taking a sip of the water. "Nope, Doc was just a literature nut. Apparently, she read Homer's The Iliad twelve times."

"Wow, she's ambitious."

"Bored too," she continued. "Persephone is the obvious. Hilde just liked the name so much, it stuck. Mine's actually quite funny. I got stuck with Hera, the mother goddess probably because I'm the most, well I don't want to say feminine, but just because most men come after me 'cause I look good in a cat suit. Sad, isn't? Anyway, Cat's is Aphrodite-Ceres the ironic symbolism and all-"

"What do you mean symbolism? None of you had mentioned at all her situation," he blushed as he realized he had interrupted her.

Her eyes darkened. "Aphrodite really didn't care what side she was on as long as she was on the side that was victorious. Her motives were always hidden in the dark… Ceres on the other hand went insane at the slightest misfortune, making her the most unpredictable… "

Quatre decided against pursuing the topic. "What about Miss Relena and Miss Merian?"

"Merian's mecha is called Athena for the obvious reasons again. She's the goddess of war and wisdom. And finally, Rel's is called Artemis because of the goddess ability to survive and to hunt at any cost, but at the same time manage to be the most trustworthy of all the goddesses…" 

Dorothy motioned for him to stand up. They were making good time, so they had to continue up the steep hill. She sighed, breathing in the mountain air as it got cooler. Now she remembered why she chose this place. The very essence was a huge comfort…

…tranquility…

"What about the systems?"

She sighed, not really in the mood to explain even further but then decided against it. He would need to know, in case the unpredictable happened.

"Our mechas are completely different from what you're used to seeing," she began. "They look almost demonic like, which is the best way to describe it When I first saw Hera, I wouldn't go near her for weeks. I mean there was the obvious, me being eight and a half at the time… But when activated, the eyes where the pilot is located light up. It was just creepy…" She paused and shook her head, ignoring the memories that threatened to assault her mind once more. It was bad enough she couldn't sleep at night.

"There is no manual handling," Dorothy continued. "When you enter the cockpit, the K-System is already active by your body temperature and several wires attach to your body. The K-System which is based on human movement then activates the main frame, allowing you to move mentally the mecha to your hearts desire. The danger is that if there is a system malfunction, you could be killed instantly and the mecha is program to self-destruct."

Quatre stopped in shock. "Doctor Peterson created it so that is something actually-"

"-goes wrong that no one could get there hands on it. Yes, that was the initial intent when she built them. But since we do our own repairs and management, you could say that each of us added our own little flare to the K-System. No two are alike."

The leaves began to rustle as the wind picked up. Dorothy stopped, eyes darkening. She motioned for Quatre to move behind her. The wind began to howl loudly and the ground began to rumble. Dorothy's eyes widened as the ground began to spilt and head towards the both of them.

"RUN!"

But all Quatre could do was stand still, mouth opened wide and eyes frozen like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck. His empath abilities alerted him to the massive range of human emotions assaulting him.

Pain-

-determination-

…anger and fear…

But even that couldn't awake him from his stupor as the large mecha burst into the air, eyes flashing an angry green. He barely heard Dorothy's cries and then amazed whisper of "Aphrodite-Ceres" escape her lips. His mind was filled with one thought and one thought only.

_There is no limit to insanity._

**

All right folks, good place to stop there. This chapter was getting too long, so I've decided to split it. I know that's what I said about the last chapter, but I thought it was better as a stand-alone. *peeks ahead* After this chapter and the next, the last three are going to be long. So I'll make up for the cruel and ruthless cliffhangers. I do apologize.

I also know that I said that I would indeed give you a preview of the sequel and the finally book to The Wanders Chronicles, but that would just give the ending away and I'd *confuse* the hell outta everybody. *innocent look* And I don't wanna do that you know…

And finally, I feel at ease now that Micah's dead. Didn't like him very much you know? And it wasn't fair that he was getting left out of being insane. I believe in character equality.

Subaru: Uh-huh…

Hey you don't even have the right to complain, baka. You get the most interesting paring in my next masterpiece. Right 'neechan?

Subaru: [^__^;;]


End file.
